Author Archives: Botcho

Run 2054…Hare : Brewtus

Run 2054

Run: 2054

Date:6/03/2017

Location: Mermaid Waters

Hare: Brewtus

Hashers:34

Another wonderful location with water views and great big trees for pissing on was the venue for the Brewtus tour of the battler suburbs where the deplorables
who reside there struggle with their lives’ over ever increasing property values, self centered importance and decreasing speed limits along Hedges Avenue.  There was a great turn out in support of Moonbeams’ resurrection from palliative care to hasher ironman within 48 hours. Quick instructions from the hare soon had the pack headed for the beachside suburbs of Mermaid , Nobby and Miami. Little yellow arrows along gutters were spotted just randomly enough to keep all on trail. A loop around Miami SHS soon had the pack heading home again. The walkers who were back had already made a fair dent in the free $1 birthday Crownies supplied by Sir Prince Valiant(SPV). Spicy hot chicken wings were served as an entrée at the same time on the same table as stand in Hash Cash (Sir PV) attempted to extract cash out of the hashers who were more interested in feeding their faces than departing with their hard earned (well for some anyhow).
The main meal was a gourmet steak burger , a far superior product to the chic designer burgers that the Golden Arches chain are trying to pass off to their customers as gourmet these days. Next up , that great indigenous branded ice cream known as Bulla was served as dessert. The birthday Crownies were going down faster than Monica Lewinsky in the White House on a lazy Sunday afternoon. The GM suggested a quick load up of tables and chairs into the trailer in readiness for the circle. Some hashers even managed to carry two chairs at a time, doubling their manual handling skills since their last piss poor effort at Sir AH’s run.
As usual the hare and his assistant, Weekly , were first into the circle for critiques on their efforts. Victorian visitor, Brendan, said the run was good and Kwakka
remarked that he enjoyed the lights in the park on the well marked trail. Caustic Crusader was asked to explain the scratch mark on his forehead which was a result of his run in with a female and a naming for Missing Link’s daughter, now known as Dry Humper. Proud Dad took a down down in her absentia.
Exit GM, enter RA.
Sir Botcho got a down down as a result of the stress that he has been experiencing as a result of him having to correct the rantings of recalcitrant hashers who continually use social media platforms to spruik useless misinformation. Sir Slabb was re-presented with his 900 run milestone as a result of the GM’s previous week’s op shop haberdashery sale. Super salesman KB was next up for giving Woodsie a bargain deal on his new wheels. VD charged Caustic Crusader for not being punctual for his morning bike ride due to the time differences between the border states. Apparently by the time he got his wheel on , it was nearly lunch time and a much older hasher had already completed a triathalon that morning up Brisbane way.
Hard On was called out about the little drink he had on Friday evening. It all sounded pretty innocent when he stated that he was home by 9 pm but upon further closer examination, it was revealed that he had shared in drinking many bottles of red wine and he was getting home from LUNCH! Needless to say he felt like shit on the golf course in the sun and humidity next day. Miscarriage told all about a new GPS app now installed on his telephone so his family can keep tabs on him. However sometimes his twin brother gets him into trouble when the GPS shows him goes to watering holes and they are different to the addresses he tells the family that he is currently at. SPV got a birthday down down before it was time to call out visitors, Brendan and all the way from Main Beach, Peter, a friend of Sweat Hog. Sweat Hog reminded hashers to bring their Go Cards/extra cash for his St Patrick’s Day run next Monday from Main Beach.
Hash Jester, Iceman, told an old joke but a goldie which all enjoyed.
Caustic Crusader charged Now Loved with attending some sort of Brokeback Mountain cultural behaviour. The charge was skipping hash and attending the ballet on a Monday night to watch men in lycra performing Tchaikovsky’s The Nutcracker Suite. Another lycra boy, Sir Black Stump , was next up for being among the place getters at the Raby Bay triathalon. Sir Two Dogs couldn’t resist the large stumped trees and got sprung cocking his leg while taking a leak. So just to reload his bladder, the final down down went to him.
In the absence of regular circle closers, the GM suggested as it was time to go home and watch Q & A, that was the end of proceedings for RPR 39.
News story from the Northern Territory
A female snapper (photographer) from the NT News spotted a natural erection near Wak Wak on the Arnhem Highway. It was a phallic termite mound. She said – The sun was hitting the knob, shaft and balls in just the right angle for it to stand out against the bush. After that graphic description, one can only imagine that this sheila has seen a far bit of wildlife in her time in the territory, maybe even some cockatoos (a cock or two).
Job Interview
A long time unemployed bloke saw an advertisement in the newspaper for a Farrier. As we all know this occupation involves putting shoes on horses.
So he put an application together and got an interview. The employer’s first question was –
Have you shoed a horse before ?
His reply  – Not really bit I once told a donkey to piss off !
 
Bike Ride this Weekend – 11 March
There is a textile free cycling event on in Nimbin, Lismore and Byron Bay. Yes, that’s right for all you hash cyclists it is an undress code.
Yours in hashing
CIRCUMFERENCE

Extraordinary Splinter Lunch

Extraordinary Splinter Lunch Splinter Lunch

Date:3/.3/2017

Location: Costa O’Doro

Hashers:19

Dubbed the Splinter Lunch Extraordinary as it was an on/off/on again event , the back to back Friday lunch took place at Costa D’Oro in Surfers Paradise under sunny skies. Sir Botcho and Sir Rabbit reported that Moonbeams was in fine spirits and his only gripe was there was no Fox Sports on the television in his room. It may have been a blessing in disguise as he missed seeing the Qld Reds getting beaten on Thursday night. The final head count was 19 which included the returning  Nash Hash travellers , the regular three Brisbane gastronomics who were noticed keeping an eye on the local ladies breasts and late arrivals, the fire walkers Nasty and his mate Macca from Perth. Macca had a haircut, a massage, a pizza and a beer as he decided to make full use of all the nearby facilities adjoining the lunch venue.
There were the pre-Nasty arrival toasts to Moonbeams and also to Showpony who would have celebrated his birthday at that lunch. Upon Nasty ‘arrival, it was a case of deja vu as he too proposed toasts to Moonbeams and Showpony. So there was more toasts than twin brides weddings at the same reception.
As usual the food was very filling with entrée pizza breads and large mains in deep bottomed plates. Weekly was early to pay his bill after accidentally doing a runner in a Seniors moment when he last dined at that venue. Hard On did a quick whip around for a tip for the wonderful table service, as usual, the owners and staff had provided to us again. Voted best Italian restaurant on the GC in 2016, it is always a popular venue for Splinter Hash lunches.
Cleansing ales topped off a fine week of Splinter hash dining.
Yours in hashing
CIRCUMFERENCE

Run 2053…Hare Caustic Crusader

Run 2053

Run: 2053

Date:27/02/2017

Location: Burleigh

Hare: Caustic Crusader

Hashers:23

A good virgin is hard to find these days and especially one with a bit of bush. But this week’s hare certainly nailed one in this new territory at Schuster Park which is located beside Tallebudgera Creek. After a short walk for some and a longer for others from their cars to the venue, the pack watched as the sunlight diminished before the hare gave instructions . Walkers to the east and runners to the west and soon all were off in anticipation of covering some new ground on a Monday night. There was plenty of horse shit in the paddocks to dodge and the well marked trail soon had a few hashers in the creek. Some smarter ones found a bridge to cross and keep dry only to later find themselves covered in mud after running past the venue for an extra kilometre on the way home.
The walkers also returned just in time for the free $1 birthday Crownies supplied by the hare. The GM opened a haberdashery op shop with a lot of retro clobber from his fashionista days in the 1970’s. Now Loved grabbed himself a flashing coat and other hashers helped themselves to all sorts of other hash and civilian clobber and bags. A notable item on the table was Sir Slabb’s 900 run milestone trackie dacks which will be presented back to him when he does his 1900 th run with an extra 1 embroided in front of the 900.
While the hash jumble sale was on, the hare and Kitchen Bitch were preparing the nosh inside the corral serving area with its entry/exit gates. A plate full of Madras curry, condiments and Turkish bread soon had most stumped with just one serving however Fanny Charmer had a another lashing to reload after working up an appetite on the run. Next up was chocolate cake, strawberries and a squirt of cream. A possum saw how good the nosh looked and joined the back of the queue and when no one was looking grabbed some bread.  Weekly rolled his milestone chair and ended arse up over backwards and while doing so did not spill his nosh or drink.
The GM called circle up and out came the Caustic Crusader for his Run of the Year attempt with virgin territory as the solo hare/cook and Birthday Crownies.
Lurch’ comments were – a dry run at first and a bit of bush which I haven’t been on for awhile. Kitchen Bitch, our resident hash MKR judge, remarked that the nosh was outstanding. The possum who was sitting on a branch in a tree and watching the circle also gave it a paws up. Weekly’s walk critique was that it was heavy going, close to a crawl, I felt like Burke and Wills at one stage.
Sir Prince Valiant gave us a summary of how GC hashers conducted themselves at Nash Hash with the usual suspects displaying their inglorious worst behaviour while representing the GC hash. He also advised that it is now onto Port Douglas for Crocodile Hash in Port Douglas,FNQ in 2019.
Caustic charged Weekly for his comments on the GM’s giveaway jackets which he described as Fat Cunts Jackets. Bent Banana advised that he was happy with his new clobber especially when he found a folded $50 in the pocket of his.
Now Loved and Circumference were soon having a down down for attempting to cut through and consume the chocolate coloured paper wrapped around the dessert cake. Might be time for a Specsavers appointment. They were soon joined by Bent Banana, Weekly and Kitchen Bitch and all five of them resplendent in their new ex GM winter jackets got a down down.
A medical report that Mad Mike is firing on all cylinders again was well received by all.
It ‘s not every Monday night the hare puts in a big effort and takes home the POW but Birthday Hare, Caustic Crusader jagged it on this occasion. Fuller Shit handed over the award because of the distance he had to walk from the car park to the venue as he recuperates from his recent medical issue.
In the absence of regular circle closers, the GM decided as he had opened the circle, he might as well close it . So ended RPR 38.
HASH (pardon the pun) MEDIA WATCH
It must have been a slow news week just over the border last week. The ECHO is a North Coast independent newspaper and it reported that a man had been arrested for selling drugs from his happy herbs shop in Nimbin. What kind of news worthy story is that ?
I mean we all know what goes on there, the sort of people that live there and regularly go there to celebrate Mardi Grass, but maybe they were trying to shock us into believing that the police actually
arrested someone on one of the 365 days of the year when they turn a blind eye on the other 364 days of the year to the goings on in this weedy driven economy tourist town, well known for its hippies, Big Joint and various bong outlets.
Maybe there is such a thing as FAKE news after all.
Yours in hashing
CIRCUMFERENCE

Run 2052…Hare Fuller Shit

Run 2052

Run: 2052

Date:20/02/2017

Location: Southport

Hare: Fuller Shit

Hashers:25

The venue was James Overell park on the Nerang River overlooking all the
valuable real estate located on Paradise Waters. The hare pointed a
direction for hashers to head and soon the pack where running around the
old and nouveau residences on the streets of the suburb which is
transitioning from the old homes and Sundale shops to it’s modern
apartment style living makeover. As the trail had a few hiccups like no
false trail indications , the pack gradually diminished to about 5 as
hashers finding themselves running into no more arrows territory called
it quits and headed home for an early beer. As they had noticed Hard On
organising his birthday Crownies before the run, they knew that finding
the trail back to the bucket was far easier than trying to relocate the
pack.

A bromance of hashers seated around a table had somehow surrounded the
entrée of chips and dips and hidden them from most of the pack who were
now enjoying the birthday Crownies. The nosh was a tasty chicken curry
with rice before dessert of peaches, ice cream and yoghurt. One thing
stands out about hashers is their honest assessment of nosh and all
agreed it was very good. By comparison, those reality TV judges on MKR
eat all the food and then tell the contestants their meals were shit
after filling up their guts.

Circle time saw the hare seated as he recuperates from his recent spell
in hospital. Sir Botcho ‘s assessment was that it was a good run. In
their absence, Flasher(now a Monday night gym junkie) and Truck
Tyres(how would I know what’s in my garage ?) were mentioned for their
recent incidents. Dicky Knee , another birthday hasher, told all about
his new role as the CSO at the GC Marina. Returning Runners.- the Big O,
was called out for pissing on the Nerang River oysters and Carefree told
a story about a recent encounter on dating site – Seniors Tinder Trap
and conversation with a Muslim woman while in Sydney.

A couple representatives from the bromance table were next out  for a
drink, namely KB and Iceman. The latter also doubled as hash jester with
a joke.

Birthday hasher, Hard On , was thanked for his free $1 Crownies and
received a trophy for the least improved golfer at the Sir Botcho golf
day. Not a bad effort, considering he didn’t play.

Missing Link stepped up with the POW and told how over the years, he had
seen a few things but never a hare outsourcing his run for his missus to
set it for him. Apparently Fuller Shit inserted a few Omnibus(well
before the politicians thought of that word) smokescreen small print
amendments in his marriage vows, under the – in sickness and health bit
to include setting hash runs when not in the best of health. So all he
was doing, was invoking those clauses of his marriage vows. Other
hashers couldn’t believe it as they all agreed that they would have had
two chances with their partners if in the same circumstances – none and
Buckley’s !

Josephine called the circle to end RPR 37.

All hashers then assisted in carrying tables and chairs back across the
park to the trailer to get home nice and early before the heavens opened
up later over the area where nice fine weather had prevailed during the
evening’s hash event.

Yours in hashing
CIRCUMFERENCE