Author Archives: Botcho

Run 2047…Hare: Sir AH

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Run 2047

Date:16/01/2017

Location: Mudgeeraba

Hare: Sir AH

Hashers: 26

The choice of a good venue is always a great start to a hash event. Considering we almost drowned years ago at this venue, it was good to be high and dry and under cover under the grey skies on another steamy Monday evening.  Kitchen Bitch arrived early as he was keen to get some exercise but the hare seconded him for assistance in the nosh department. Brief instructions were given and soon walkers and runners headed off towards the east. A couple of local lasses out walking their puppies gave hints to the pack as to where they had seen arrows after the first check which was greatly appreciated. Soon the trail was well was into the local suburbia where Monday evenings must be the designated mowing and whipper snipper time as there were a few out there. A mobile telephone rang and Magician was the culprit. Although it was very humid, there was plenty of shade on the trail especially near the bridge area where Truck Tyres got bushed. Josephine headed back as the trail progressed past home and was soon organising all the chairs from the trailer.
When all had returned home via Somerset Drive, the bucket was popular especially the birthday beers provided by Slug. Your could take pick of the entrée as it included watermelon , rockmelon and dates.   Plenty of hashers set themselves up on a chair as there seemed to be a few short of the total number in attendance. When the hare announced that the main nosh was ready, Dicky Knee offered to stay back and mind a couple of chairs for hashers while they got their food. When it was his turn to get some nosh, an inconsiderate hasher decided to blow in and knock off his seat, not knowing it all happened in front of the current POW. What a difference a week makes in the hash nosh menu. From butchered halal goat to abattoir killed pig (ham), there is always something happening in the kitchen. There were plenty of salads,pineapple and condiments to toss onto the ham. Next up was dessert which featured the hot Miss Aldi’s Apple Rounds with custard and cream dripping off them. As all diners were pretty full by this stage, so the GM suggested some exercise before the circle. The tables and chairs needed packing away while the booze masters mixed their concoctions.
Sir AH and Kitchen Bitch were first out  for a quick drink before the Magician was asked to comment on the run, however he waffled on about it being a beautiful evening without really assessing the run and gave it a Minus One rating. Maybe he had spent too much time on his mobile while on the run to actually know what had happened apart from Truck Tyres punching on after loosing his way. Thankfully Bent Banana described the hare’s effort as a good run.
Showpony and Mad Mike were mentioned due to their current health issues and all are thinking of them at the moment.
Exit the GM and he invited the RA to takeover proceedings. Josephine was asked by the RA about the number of chairs he had got out of the trailer and the figure of 20 was mentioned. However it was observed that Now Loved and the Magician had struggled with their one chair each upon returning them to the trailer. They were given down downs and the new first LCA’s for the year – Lazy Cunts Award.  The Magician was asked to explain what was so important on the mobile to take a call while on the run. He replied it was his missus / she who must be obeyed, reminding him of the Monday night curfew in the bedroom, so he would have to get home promptly after hash. Wrong answer, down down.
A report of a possible emerging bromance with the sighting of Kitchen Bitch putting his arm around Ferret on the walk. However maybe it was possibly the early stages of a motor vehicle deal going down (down) and that’s what these hashers got.
The POW returned by Ferret was sighted for the first time in 2017. A couple of early nominations were Weekly, Sweathog and even the RA who were just decoys for the real event. As only one hasher had pinched another hasher’s seat, after he had looked after others, and allegedly swiped his beer as well that evening, it narrowed it down to Blue Card ,a popular choice by all.
Moonbeam was invited to close RPR 32.
TRUMPILLAC ONE Presidential Limousine
Just in time for his inauguration the President elect of the free fall world has just got himself an updated Cadillac. After consultation with Donald, several specifications were requested.
The new added features include a Trumper Bar and Rapid Fire Machine guns containing Spray Tan and Hair Spray in the front of the vehicle.
At the rear of the vehicle will be a Retractable Mexican-Proof Wall and a fully imported Moscow Golden Shower.
On each side of the vehicle there will be retractable Pussy Grabbers, just in case the opportunity arises while on his limo victory tours of the middle states of the Ununited States of America as he thanks those who elected him to office.
Security will be of the highest order for the man who formerly said – You’re Fired just in case in the country which has more guns than the people who seem to have easy access to purchase semi-automatic machine guns, the FBI has to ask – Who Fired ?
FOX should have plenty of television coverage of the inauguration event as the other television networks already seem to be offside before the game has even started. The former host of The Apprentice has just progressed to the Tradesman who has been elected to get the job done.
UPCUMMIMG EVENTS
 
Run 2050 – 23 January – Bring your appetite and togs/ towel if you feel like a dip after another humid Monday evening.
Splinter Hash – 27 January – Let Sir Botcho know of your intended attendance/golf participation/dietary requirements if you are a vegan.
Yours in hashing
CIRCUMFERENCE

Run 2047 Pictures Here

Run 2046…Hare: Swollen Colon & Sweat Hog

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Run 2046

Date:9/01/2017

Location: Southport

Hare: Swollen Colon & Sweat Hog

Hashers: 27

The old saying – couldn’t drive a hot knife through a pound of butter was probably the best description of what hashers saw as other hashers arrived at the Southport Tigers club car park. Not quite sure whether some of the drivers need to visit Spec Savers or they got their licence in a Kellogs Corn Flakes packet giveaway, but they were some extraordinary scenes with the driver of parking the under carriage of the motor vehicle on top of a median strip
Swollen Colon had a megaphone and siren to summon hashers out to the middle of the football oval where he had erected a HHHH sign. Yes, that’s right an extra H which caused many comments from hashers. So the runners and walkers got their instructions and eventually found their way out of the fenced enclosure. The trails went mainly around Smith and Johnson Streets before back to the rear of the oval for the Chivas scotch and water drink stop. Some daytime fireworks were let off as the runners searched unsuccessfully for some mysterious close-by waterfall which didn’t make the GC Bulletin’s weekend edition list of waterfalls.
The nosh venue was a well set up BBQ area adjoining the football club where hashers hooked into the well chilled refreshments. A siren on the megaphone was the signal that the nosh was ready to go. Crisp garlic naan breads and some bony meat dish which had many guessing as to what is was were the fare. Some well travelled hashers suggested camel , others goat and maybe even horse meat. Anyhow it was consumed and washed down by more strong drink. Next up was cake and custard for dessert.
The GM called the circle and the hares were given a down down. Iceman advised that the pack had looked and looked for the waterfall but gave up and returned home in several different directions. Due to the numbering of upcoming runs in the near future, the GM did a Please Explain segment to the confused hashers.
Next up the RA called out Flasher and Truck Tyres to renew their bromance vows and they both admirably stepped into the circle.
Fuller Shit and Sir Black Stump were given a down down for their dramatic arrivals into the carpark in front of all the assembled hashers.
Slug was next out in the circle for examination of either a small love bite or a melanoma on his neck.
Flasher dodged a bullet with a quick change into some hash clobber instead of his civvies he was sporting at the time.
Ball Point returned to tell the circle about his upcoming Chinese New Year extravaganza.
Visitor Wee Wee reminded us of that old Shell television ad with Barry Sheene about putting a sock in his gob. He never shut up all night and deserved an icing for his disruption. It then came out in the circle that he has banned from all future Nash Hash’s for some of his past extra stray horizontal dancing activities.
Finally the elephant in the room had to be addressed and the RA called out Swollen Colon to clarify what the meat was in the nosh. He advised the clue was in the extra H in the HHHH sign. Finally, after a hash guessing competition, he revealed he had introduced Halal goat to the hash.
Poor old Flasher nearly spewed when he realised he had munched on the Mecca morsel remnants of some poor goat butchered according to Muslim law.
In the absence of the carryover POW, Swollen Colon, got off scott free for his tampering with the gourmet hash standards.
Moonbeams closed the circle to RPR 31 before a fireworks finale lit up the sky and sent local dogs in a frenzy with the multiple explosions.
We often hear about men having depression, anxiety and the black dog to contact the Lifeline telephone number for help. When you consider recent local hash events , might I suggest that that they also check out the hash website for a good dose of therapy as well.
Over the last couple of weeks we have seen Santas dancing with hare krishnas and meter maids, public nuisance behaviour, strippers, lots of BWS (beer, wine and now spirits), halal food, fireworks and lots of good times. Over the next couple of weeks, the fun continues.
UPCUMMING EVENTS
 
Towards the end of the month, the it would appear that the abacus has been thrown out with the bath water with the numbering of the runs. But don’t worry, just keep turning up regularly and everything will take care of itself. So here goes as to what’s happening down the track
Monday 23 January  Run 2050 Committee
Thursday 26 January Hash RDO , due to the number of events so close together. Kick back and enjoy the day.
Friday 27 January Splinter Hash. Let Sir Botcho know ASAP if you are attending.
Monday 30 January Run 2049 Chinese New Year. Let Ball Point know ASAP if you want an authentic Chinese T-shirt for $15.
                                 So far orders have been received from Fanny Charmer (L), Sir Two Dogs (L), Missing Link (L),
                                 Brutus (M) and Weekly (XL)
Monday 6 February Run 2048 Josephine

Run 2046 Pictures Here

Run 2045…Hare: Truck Tyres

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Run 2045

Date:2/01/2017

Location: Burleigh

Hare: Truck Tyres

Hashers: 20

Truck Tyres stepped up to the plate as a late replacement hare for the
New Year run in what is well known as Caustic Crusader’s hashing
territory. A cursory glance of the BOM website revealing a massive
weather system slowly creeping towards the GC from down Byron Bay way
was the stimulus for the GM to show some leadership and get the show on
the road in the absence of the hare. So up the hills through the
lantana, the pack headed east and onwards towards the boardwalk around
Fleay’s wildlife sanctuary. Most hashers dropped off at various stages
to head home for some icy cold refreshments. However Hot Dick, Flasher,
Miscarriage and Magician struggled through the humidity and did the
whole alleged 9 klms. If that was the case, on the times they did, then
they would have all medalled in the long distance events in the 1956
Melbourne Olympic Games.

The hare had been sighted during the run, at the venue, setting up the
trailer before he was off again until returning, so at various stages he
had set up , shopped and got the nosh organised as Kitchen Bitch
assisted. Under threatening skies, an early circle was called and Truck
Tyres was called up and he brought with him some entrée dips. High
marking run critic, Flasher, was asked to comment on the run and
enthused that it was – A Fucking Good Run, the best so far in 2017 !
Shat told a story about the adventures of several hashers while
travelling to the December Splinter Hash lunch on the G light rail. In a
comedy of errors, the hashers tried to get out of the doors and get off
on the wrong side of the platform and while trying to hit buttons to get
off the train, it took off. Hard On, Swindler and Bren Gun were the
comedy team involved and apparently their antics brought tears to the
little old ladies seated in their carriage on the light rail around
them. All of this took place on the way to lunch, while they were all
completely sober.

Returning hasher from SE Asia, the Big O was called out and began
telling a story about his dick and rubbing crocodile oil on it and then
about something falling out of a tree and as all agreed the story was
too confusing he was given his down down and evicted from the circle.
Hot Dick now a permanent resident of Randwick in that cockroach infected
state south of Coolangatta was given a down down and then mentioned his
island holiday home in the Pacific playground is available for hash use.

Miscarriage who went south to Melbourne, over the festive period, to do
some work for his father had another tale of misfortune of missing keys
, searching Bunnings in Preston, $754 later and all because of hash
issued shorts with no pockets in them and to top it off another hash
farcup with the spelling on the reverse side of his milestone shirt
emblazoned with incorrect spelling – MISCARRAIGE. Two Dogs, a
representative of the previous committee involved in those giveaway
matters was called up and took a coldie for that committee’s role.

Current POW from December 2016, Ferret, has carried over the award into
the New Year and it will be offloaded at next week’s run when a hare and
venue have been organised. Kitchen Bitch has jumbo Santa suits for sale
at $7.50 each. After you have had them for awhile, they may even go down
on you

The circle was quickly closed as Truck Tyres announced it was time to
serve up tasty wraps of chicken, ham, salad and condiments. As all
munched away on the nosh, a couple strolled up to the tables and asked
if the hash were using the Girl Guides hall beside where the
tables/chairs had been set up. They advised that their group wanted to
use it and we could join them if we liked. An inquisitive hasher asked
what they did in the hall and when told, he replied  – No thanks , we
are a masticating group, not a meditating group and invited them to join
us to which they politely declined. The GM supplied a carton of Jap
birthday beers to the delight of all and they complimented the meal.

A little bit of rain , some lighting and thunder signalled that it was
time to get the flock out of there. Truck Tyres rushed out the desserts
of tinned fruits and ice cream and it was quickly consumed as the
heavens opened up and hashers made a run for their transport .

After another evening of good times , Truck Tyres has set the benchmark
for GC hashing in 2017.

This run brought up the RPR number 30 milestone.

Yours in hashing
CIRCUMFERENCE

Run 2045 Pictures Here

Run 2044…Hare: Flasher

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Run 2044

Date:26/12/2016

Location: Helensvale

Hare: Flasher

Hashers: 3

In true world-wide Hash tradition, “Monday Night is Hash Night” and the Gold Coast Gourmet Hash keeps the tradition going .. even if it is Boxing Day!

 

The Hare, Flasher, had chosen the newly renovated kids park, next to the public toilets and opposite the Bowls Club in Helensvale as the start point. The weather was threatening to destroy the 5.4km trail that Flasher had laid a few hours earlier but luck was with him and the rain was only very light and the well marked trail remained intact!

 

The two intrepid Hashers that assembled at 1700 and who had forgone eating even more bloody Turkey and Ham, covered themselves in Mozzy repellent and did some stretching and warm up exercises before being pointed in the right direction and off they went.

 

Most of the run was off road and went through nature reserves and peoples back yards where the friendly natives waved and shouted encouragement to the runners or I think it was encouragement!!

 

Emerging out of some dense bush, the hot and sweaty runners were greeted to a Drink Stop manned by the Hare Flasher who handed out super cold “Mid” Beers to the pack.

 

Then it was then a 1km. run back to the bucket and more super cold “Mids”.

 

As quite a few beers had been the drunk, the pack decided to forgo eating at the Bowls Club and headed home hoping not to be stopped by an RBT..!!

 

This Boxing Day Run has to be considered the best run of the year, if you ignore all the other excellent runs during 2016!

 

Yours in hashing…. ??

Run 2044 Pictures Here