Gold Coast Hash House Harriers

Run 1785
Date: Monday 16th Jan. 2012
Hare: Truck Tyres
Venue: Pizzey Park, Miami
Runners: 19

Weeks to AGPU: 21

 A small pack assembled at the designated start point, spur of pacific av. Miami. Conditions were bleak, overcast and threatening rain, half the pack in raincoats.

 The Hare Truck Tyre’s instructions were quite clear, but not the markings of chalk, flour, paper and would probably get washed out. The runners set of to Pacific Av. on trail, left into Oceanic Dr. and on to Pizzey Dr. at this point rain, rain and more rain, markings holding up but only just, a left turn into Pizzey Park Sporting Complex and on through some pretty good running hash territory, ably lead by FRB’S Miscarriage and new runner Favio (aka James).

The pack confused at this point due to return markings, suddenly realized we have short cutted a big portion of the run so far. Half the pack decided enough of the wet weather and headed home on the return markings, Which left Miscarriage, Fabio ( aka James) Bent Banana and Veteran to make a decent run of it, all be it a wet run. Not on trail to Bardon Av.

The now small pack headed past the Gold Coast Burleigh Heads Golf Club, through some back streets on through the East side of Pizzey Park and on on home.

Back at the car park the now wet pack had vanished like water rats to the on on venue the Junior Rugby League Club. Unbeknown to the Hare were having there AGM. However, ignoring that we were undercover with lights on one section of the there deck, I think they thought we were part of the club.

The Hare went missing for some time, it was thought he may have done a runner, but not so, on returning we were greeted with a meal best described as left over xmas lunch. Starters corn chips salsa dip. Main. Ham, Salad and tomato onion dish’s. Desert. Trifle, Jelly and Peach’s. The good part of this unusual menu there was plenty of it.

 Circle was called approx. 8.30pm G.M. Shat called upon Caustic to critic the run. In his exact words ‘ I managed to stay dry’ Caustic must have been running with an umbrella ‘ ‘good run under the circumstances’ gave it a 7.75

 G.M. Shat called Cumsmoke to critic the food. I could see where this was going was not disappointed. Slammed the salad, liked the Desert. score 2

 Stand in RA Miscarriage called out Cumsmoke for DD overheard saying Blackie was full of sh*t terrible thing to say. Other DD’S for misdemeanors. Pizza, Flasher, Fabio( aka James) Bigamist and Caustic

 Visitors. DD’S Bigamist, Little Dogs and Fabio ( aka James)

A good wet Hash nite was had by all, well done Truck Tyres

 On On Veteran

Don’t forget Botcho’s Splinter Hash Golf Day From his place Friday 27th Jan. Golf commencing at 9:00 am Pre lunch drinks 11:30 and lunch from 12:00. Please let Botcho know if your coming to Golf and or lunch only. He needs to know numbers.  Special Guest “Wishful Thinking” will be attending

Run: 1784
Date: Monday 9th January 2012
Hare: Elvis
Venue: Runaway Bay Soccer Club
Runners: 23

Weeks to AGPU: 22
A good pack arrived, many sporting their Elvis tribute shirts, in line with the recent Gold Coast Elvis festival at Surfers. Elvis was running around flogging off the remainder of his suspect 2012 edition of his tribute shirts sporting the famous Gold Coast “Hasn” slogan, truely to be a collectors item.

We were given the brief by the Hare, who would not be joining us as he was else where committed playing football (or soccer to some). The arrows were in pink, blue or white and lots of toilet paper and flour, we were told, so Blacky would not get lost in the wilds of Runaway Bay. We trudged off into the steamy hot night, figuring a long hot slog in the famous environment park.

After some tooing and froing we finally picked up the trail at the north of the fields and soon came across our first check. Local knowledge soon had us heading west following the mini arrows. Another check then it was north along Morala Avenue where the trail turned east following the sports centre fence line. Usual suspect, Flasher, decided here he would do his own usual run and continued north, not to be seen again for some time.

The walkers, with map in hand, in Crocodile’s capable hands headed off north unaware the map was upside down and were now following Flasher in the reverse direction, another debacle in the making. The rest of us continued on trail, which now seemed to turn through the environment park, but via some suspect swamp.

Undeterred and as determined as always, Misscarriage headed into the swamp only to be swallowed up and go arse over. Seeing this the rest of us back tracked and continued on trail. Another check at the bike track then around the cricket oval before heading east across another field to the sight of the biggest Hash marking in recent times.

Further over and along the bike track before heading towards Oxley Drive. Along the west of the park we went before the inevitable right turn at the bush section. The following pack, with a map in possesion, however missed this and headed North for the long tour of the park and the eventual extra 40 minute stroll. The remainder came across the walkers going in reverse and Flasher lost at some check claiming he had been on trail all the time.

The trail soon emerged at the eastern edge of the park before the solid kilometere run home with the front runners finishing in about 35 minutes, enough for the hot and humid night. Flasher however got it all wrong again and took the wrong turn over shooting the home trail (Karma they call it).

Back at the car park the group gathered and consumed the Crownies finally brought by Crocodile whilst we awaited the lost patrol of Sir Prince, Sir Rabbit, Jospehine, Aussie and Rug. Cumsmoke and Flatulance had discoverd the Zumba class and were considering joining before realising they were well out of their league.

After all had arrived it was time for a short circle under the full moon before heading indoors for the curry and ice cream feast. The group settled back and watched the evening games whilst partaking in a few ales and wines (with a few acquiring left overs from the sausage sizzle).
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Down Downs;
Flasher; Serial shortcutter

Crocodile; Leading walkers on reverse trail, even with map in possesion

Elvis; Hare

Misscarriage; Failing to bring GM gift from OS tour

Testicle; Leading Misscarriage astray at airport bar (now there’s a first)

Crocodile; Awarded POW by Rug for walker incident and slow to produce Crownies

Elvis & Testicle; Retuning runners

DON’T FORGET BOTHCHO’S SPLINTER HASH GOLF EXTRAVAGANZA FROM HIS PLACE FRIDAY 27TH JANUARY, GOLF COMMENCING AT 09:00 SHARP. PLEASE LET BOTHCO KNOW IF YOU’RE COMING TO GOLF AND OR LUNCH. SPECIAL GUEST APPEARANCE TIPPED.
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On On from “The Desk”
Two Dogs

Run: 1783
Date: Monday 2nd January 2012
Hare: Moonbeams & Caustic
Venue: Hinze Dam
Runners: 30 + 2

Weeks to AGPU: 23
Firstly, welcome back to all and your glorious Hierarchy hope that 2012 is a great year for all, hopefully much better than 2011 was for the majority.
Secondly, having only just returned from spending any remaining available Hash funds at lovely Noosa, I thought I should do a quick recap of the last two runs I missed, although these reports are delivered via third party info and any resemblence to fact is purely coincidental.
The Xmas run, as usual, was kept to the highest possible standards regardless of what a few selfish types will tell you, though I did note a few things happened that were not on the notes I made at our last Hierarchy meeting. However I believe the night went off without any hitches and the entertainment and food was of the highest order (pigs do fly).
I did hear from some whingers that at one venue the Guiness was wasted as it took them so long to pour that it was time to leave when the finally got it, and at another venue the gas was stuffed so no piss was available except in stubbies, which the Hierarchy thought too expensive, and apparently there was no piss at the Chinese Restaurtant in Benowa upon arrival but quick action by the Hierarchy quickly saw quality wines delivered and another top evening had by all. AH, having suffered an unfortunate accident was whisked around in a wheel chair donated apparently by Sir Slab, now that’s the way to do a Xmas run.
Hopefully most of you had more than your fair share and have no recollection of the event anyway so we can tell you anything we want.
At Show Pony’s run on Boxing Day, at Hope Island, a small group of 8 showed up, having had enough of Xmas festivities and in need of something else. Being considerate at this time of year a casual stroll was the order of the day and Pony, having catered for the usual 25+ crowd, ensured there was ample food for all and of good quality, possibly redeeming himself of past doings, although I suggest he will never be forgotten for his effort at Arundel.
Which brings us back to the current run at Hinze Dam. Moonbeams and Causic decided to host an early start and made the day a more family affair with partners and family invited to join in the festivities.
Misscarriage and clan arrived straight from the plane having been over seas in Asia and or Christmas Island (same thing I guess). A good pack of 30 Hashers and partners plus Misscarriages two little ones gathered and soon after 2:00pm we headed off into the new surrounds of the now finished dam renovations/extensions.
The trail started up hill, as expected, and soon hit the horse trails across the road. The next few kilometres was like the new roller coaster at Movie World, up and down and all around.
Somehow after the first check Blackstump went one way and I the other only to both find trails and end up together at the next check, unique I must say. More hills and more trail running before we descended to the quarry road.
Here I noted Flasher had shortcutted by following the Hare, Cautic. I advised Flasher that the run had to go left as it lead to the dam but he reluctantly checked and advised no trail in sight and ran back only to be turned back again as he in fact had gone the right way but not far enough. Blacky and I soon took the lead and headed right only to be caught on a good long on back, leaving us now well behind the rest, talk about from the penthouse to the shit house in one swift moment.
Soon the pack was together again as we headed towards the inevitable dam. After some 30 minutes of good hard and hot slogging we came to the “Bear Grylis” section of the run as we headed off trail and up into the virgin bush. Fortunately Misscarriage and Truck Tyre had now taken the lead and were our official snake flushers and decoys.
Blacky was struggling with his slippery shoes and kept trying to slide down the mountain and ended up in the midst of every bit of lantana and stinging bushes in existance, cutting himself to ribbons in the process. Finally we emerged at the quarry to then run along the top, down the rocks, across the flats and back up another rock hill before the final leg home through the visitor centre and down the steps to home base.
A good hour long slog, though I figure most would have liked to bypass the bush section, just ask Blackstump for his thoughts.
Back at base camp Moonbeams was busy cooking up the snag sangers and delicious steak burgers. During the circle KB gave the food a commendable 8.25/10 and the run was given a 9/10 by Truck Tyre. Rug was spied trying to catch a few zzeds in the circle, no doubt reflecting on his recent run achievement, but was soon brought back to life via the Hierarchy water cannon.
The GM was given a travellers gift of a two sided willy warmer, quality and success to be reported on in due course. Formalities over, it was time to leave before being locked in for the night and all departed around 5:30pm with the thoughts of being home for dinner on a Monday night! A great start to 2012 and well done to the Hares and all for attending what was a fun afternoon.
PS On the way home we came across an unfortunate accident between a motor bike and bus (no prize for guessing who came off worse) at the Helensvale, Pacific Pines intersection.
A policeman was at the scene directing traffic when he noted someone had pulled up in the left lane just past the busy intersection and was getting out to talk to the police officer.
Just as the officer (now angry) was trying to tell the idiot goose to get out of the way another car plowed into the back of the said goose’s car. Three large Islander types got out of this car and only one can guess what happened next, but it would have looked great on U Tube.
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Down Downs;
Moonbeams & Caustic; Hares
Ferret; Trying to dob on someone
Ferret; Complaigning about lack of enthusiasm
Rock Hard; Sob story about being in Pindarra Hospital on New Years and trying to gain sympathy via trumped up heart attack story. Time to harden up and jump start!
KB & Arseup; Returning runners from Bali
Rug & Flasher; Splinter lunch “Chipmunk “ affair
Misscarriage; Returning runner
GM & Jigsaw; Congratulations on quick thinking actions to provide quality wine at Xmas run
Caustic; Hierarchy abuse
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On On from “The Desk”
Two Dogs

Run: 1780
Date: Monday 12th December 2011
Hare: Blackstump
Venue: Blackstump Ranch
Runners: 25

Weeks to AGPU: 26
After some heavy rain Blacky did a quick check of the intended run site at Clagiraba Forrest and decided to spare us from a painful evening slogging through hills and slush and water. Instead he opted for the safe bet and started us from the ever popular ranch site. We headed down the road and after the 500 metre warm up on Blacky’s driveway we soon spotted the first check.
I had seen the arrows on the drive in and instinctively headed left only to be called back and told by the Hare to run up the hill towards the golf course, bugger as I passed Ferret and the walkers (and I think Swollen). Up the first hill then down to the left we went before again turning left to where I was some 5 minutes before. Through the new estate, opposite what is also likely to be another new sub division, “Black Stump Acres”.

More hills and past the stunned kangaroos we ran before rejoining the main drag. Not for long though as the runners departed again to the right up through the bush and into more back streets. A few more hills and checks and we soon emerged at Alexander Drive where I had also spotted arrows on our way to the run. Bent Banana was already onto it and calling on as Flasher, Rectum and Swollen (I think disappeared across the road).

We ran past “Miscarriage World” before emerging again on Gilston Road for the solid and hilly run home. Bent Banana and I were surprised to see Cumsmoke in hot pursuit and vainly trying to be a front runner.
A nice 40 minute run but given the hills and humidity I think most thought it was more than adequate. However there is always one exception and again serial offender Flasher, on the most simple and well marked of trails, still managed to run his own race and disappeared into Miscarriage World with some feeble excuse he only went in to check the state of some dodgy buildings he had something to do with. Where is the ice I ask?

The nosh was not the announced surprise horse meat requiring all to bring sharp knives but instead it was back to the tried and proven spag boll and garlic bread followed by tarts and ice cream. A nice feed as described by Sir Prince and given a worthy 7.5/10.
Aussie gave the run report but it was with some suspicion that he may not even have done it, however he did say it ws not long enough and gave it a 7.5/10. The walk as commented on by Swindler was also given a 7.5 with it being long, lots of hills and well marked.

The circle involved some suspect behaviour, which I hope does not make u-tube as it involved suspect notes and singing, along with public spankings, what ever happened to rule #1 infringements?
Slab announced news of another relay event to be held early next year (March), and we have been invited to enter a team ( about 12 – 15 required). More news to come.
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Down Downs;
Blackstump; Hare

Truck Tyre, Swollen & Swindler; Returning runners

Bent Banana; Screwing up note

Truck Tyre & Swindler; Not bringing gifts for GM from Thailand and Phillipines tours

Caustic & Show Pony; Wrong hand and failing to note respectively

Flasher; False accusation on Rug

Arseup; Drink around neck and not in correct hand

Caustic & Ferret; Parking infringements in Blacky’s driveway

Cumsmoke; “Paddle” theft

Caustic; Upsetting Ferret on early morning cycle past his home

Sir Rabbit; Holy Grail award (Most runs)

Ferret; For beating Crocodile at golf, thus upsetting him and hence not showing up with Crownies

Rug; Forgetting POW again, but came up with a cracker poem

——————————————————————————————————————- REMEMBER NEXT WEEK CHRISTMAS RUN. WEAR USUAL RED SANTA WEAR. STARTS FROM BUDDS BEACH OPPOSITE GM’S PALACE AT 5:15PM. $20 FOR 5+ RUN MEMBERS $50 FOR OTHERS. RUN WILL NOT FINISH ANYWHERE NEAR START FOR THOSE CONTEMPLATING BRINGING VEHILCES.
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On On from “The Desk”
Two Dogs

Run: 1779
Date: Monday 5th December 2011
Hare: Sir Slab & Sir Prince Valiant
Venue: Robina Cricket Oval
Runners: 24

Weeks to AGPU: 27
The skies looked ominous and the summer warmth was replaced by a somewhat winter chill, however a good pack of 24 eager runners still showed to what is normally a premium evening event. With the RA working overtime keeping the rains at bay a number of the runners hurriedly offered their services in staying back to help Sir Prince prepare the evening’s feast, thus doubting the RA’s ability.
Caustic lead the pack off dressed in his fluoro orange work wear obviously just coming off a council work site somewhere. We ran across the road in the usual direction but it was not long before looped back towards the start. Over the road and north towards somewhat unfamiliar grounds.

It was only just into the run but serial offender, Flasher, already decided to run past the arrows (wasn’t even a check or on back), and merrily ran his own run, as he does and once again showing a total disregard for the Hare. When are we going to ice this guy!

We emerged from under the bridge again close to home, maybe too close for some, as we then headed west towards the distant Skilled Park. Around the back of the houses through some soft ground and we finally emerged at the Titan’s home ground.

We continued around the stadium and back into more shiggy and soft tracks. I managed to front run and find the distant On Back and decided it was a good time to stop for a leak, however, before doing so I forgot to tell Veteran it was an On Back, much to his disgust.

Slab, following on his bike, managed to keep the diminishing pack on trail, which continued further around the stadium and, south under the road and around the school before emerging near the Robina Town Centre.
It was then through the station and towards the familiar, or so we thought, track home. We managed to run a number of false trails before finding the right trail and the good run home.
Back at home base we found the number of volunteer cooks had swelled with KB, Aussie, Ferret and Botcho all in the mix assisting resident Master Chef, Sir Prince.
We also noted that our tables had been moved due to the arrival of the cricket club members for their meetings. How dare the cricket club invade our privacy holding a meeting at their club house during cricket season! However a few free feeds to several hovering cricket club members ensured we were welcome to stay.

The fine nosh consisted of soup, sweat & sour pork stir fry followed by lychees (cleaning out the local Asian supermarket at exorbitant expense to the Hash) and ice cream. jigsaw gave the nosh a deserved 8.5/10 stating “it doesn’t get any better that this”.

Bent Banana gave the run report an equal mark of 8.5/10 adding it was a good run and well marked. VD gave the walk trail the same accolades.
Of note too was the return of the King, Elvis, seen handing out dodgy T-shirts with hash spelt “Hasn”. Returning runner, BB, from the wilds of Laos gave a sales pitch on his magic pills worthy of the real Peter Foster, not the GM one. As always a great night again by the Sir’s.

Down Downs;
Sir Slab & Sir Prince; Hares
BB & Elvis; Returning runners
Botcho; Allegedly “seeing things” at post Splinter Hash entertainment
Sir Prince; Finding suspect venue following Splinter Hash
Ferret; Being first to enter above mentioned suspect venue
Flasher; Serial offender, doing own run yet again
Caustic; Noted riding home on Hare’s bike
Rug; Last to pay,again
Ferret; Charged by Cumsmoke for excessive “back seat driving” following Splinter Hash
Rug; For forgetting to bring POW, too well hidden and can’t remember where

DON’T FORGET CHRISTAMAS RUN ON 19TH DECEMBER, 5:15 START AT BUDDS BEACH, WEAR YOUR RED SANTA GEAR

On On from “The Desk”
Two Dogs