Run 1835 Date: 31st December, 2012 Hare: Circumference Location: Boat Ramp on T E Peters Drive Broadbeach
What a lovely place to meet in the afternoon as the sun sets, made more interesting with several ladies present for this once-off event.
Circumference set a short and long run and we were off at 1705. The trail transgressed regular terrain, but on this day excitement was everywhere as restaurateurs prepared their alfresco surroundings for a big night, music eminating from several live bands along the trail and thousands of adults and children setting up their special eskys, bbqs and mats all over the main Broadbeach park for the fireworks that were to follow at 8 PM.
Several very effective checks held the group together but an easy run with Semen and Blackie sharing in most of the checking. Semen is very fit for an old salt but Happy Ending may have assisted in that regard. The home trail went through the Casino gardens and it was all over in about 35 mins.
Back at the On In Kitchen Bitch was up to his old tricks butchering a leg of ham with a pen knife or similar object until Caustic came to the rescue with something larger and sharper. It was a scrumptious presentation with dinner supplemented with fruits of various kinds; watermelon, rockmelon, cherries, grapes, strawberries and blueberries.
There was no circle but several comments on the run were sought. (Romeo) An excellent tour of Broadbeach like never before with dinner as good as any Christmas feast. (Shauna) Simulating walk with action everywhere and what a great feast. (Mrs. Veteran) The champagne was to die for. (Tracy) Unbelievable meal which made Caustic’s special Christmas lunch for 24 look like a dinner for the homeless.
As most had other activities to attend, the evening finished by 19:30.
Thanks Circumference for your effort which was very much appreciated by all who attended.
On On and Happy New Year to all.
Bent Banana
The favorite watering hole of the GCHH was the venue for the grand finale Splinter Lunch of the 2012 year.
On arrival it noticed a large group of Santa’s helpers crowded together in a tight almost impenetrable circle…what could possibly be as interesting and absorbing to keep the absolute attention of this group of intellectuals??. Forcing though Santa’s helpers was virtually impossible as no one was prepared to give an inch when in fact all they really wanted to give was several inches to the centre of attraction.
It was then that that the old saying “…..life is all beer and skittles” become very clear…each of Santa’s helpers all looking resplendent in their Christmas tuxedos with beer in hand and all desperately trying to vie for the attention of Skittles …and hopefully give that inch or three!!
This tall skinny little object ( what could they see in her ???) looked like she needed a good feed and her only interest was not in Santa’s helpers but the large pieces of freshly baked garlic bread on the tables that she devoured while at the same time moving gracefully as she was passed from knee to knee.
The formalities where rapidly dispensed with by host Sir Slab and his associate Sir Rabbit as no one really cared one iota what they were saying as all eyes (as well as groping hands and grinding hips movements) were on Skittles.
The true expertise of an experienced hashman came to the fore as Sir Slab was able to momentarily drag the attention away from Skittles with his Trivia Quiz questions. The crowd really did not give a rats ars… about the simple questions he was asking but it enabled all to get a closer look at Skittles as Sir Slab supported her as his off-sider( we are not sure why it was necessary for him to be so close to his supporting assistant ??). We suspect that Sir Slab has been watching too many episodes of Wheels of Fortune as sees himself as the next TV Quiz host with a spunky assistant!!!
The prizes given away where a huge hit as each winner graciously accepted one of Sir Slabs well worn old hash T-shirts still with the sweat of many runs complete with rips and holes and then promptly proceeded to thrown them in a far corner as far away from where they were sitting as possible.
As the afternoon proceeded we were treated to a rare sight on land with the appearance of 2 white pointers. Within seconds of the appearance of this unique sight there was a rapid reforming of another group of Santa’s helpers again together in a tight almost impenetrable circle but now fortified with wine and the courage of a mongrel dog on heat all now offering to give that inch or three. The apparition rapidly came to an end as an elderly female patron with heavily sagging appendages and undoubtly upset by the competition reported the incident to management.
The afternoon drew to a close and it appears the Mohammad Abdullah alias Flasher was again subjected to more pain and suffering as his wine case was misplaced by a Santa helper. The Santa helper (who allegedly said he had a Blue Card) had realized he now had zero chance of playing hide the sausage after the departure of Skittles so become content to upset Mohammad Abdullah trying to play hide the bag.
The Brisbane group of Snappy Tom ( ..he just completed 1500 runs) , Semen ( ..none left behind this time) etcetcslowly went on their way back home no doubt commenting on what was another great day on the Gold Coast with the Gourmet Hash.
The Gold Coast group slowly dwindled one by one as they headed home for a Nana Nap ( or maybe a Power Nap to be ready again for the next days festivities) and a tongue lashing from their better half for drinking too much at these important luncheons while a couple of intrepid party goers who were unable to drink sufficient during the afternoon and needed additional fortification staggered northward for Wine & Pizza at Nicolines to continue to party on into the night.
A grand finale to the 2012 Splinter Lunches thanks to our well organized hosts.
On On
Swindler
January Splinter Lunch. Splinter Hash Summer Cup Golf day
A great turn out for the inaugural Xmas Eve Run from the Helensvale Tavern.
With no R.A. present the weather was absolutely fabulous, a perfect night.
Once assembled and the social intercourse concluded, the guest hare Mohammed El Flas-Her welcomed everyone to the Gold Coast Knitting Circle H3 “replacement” run and especially to our visiting hasher “Pear Shaped” all the way from Canada.
The Paris HHH also joined us for a drink and a run. Great bunch of Hashers, all enjoyed a few drinks and a few laughs.
The run directions were precise and the excitement grew as we were all promised a great and challenging run.
Then at 1705 the large pack was off. Down passed the shopping centre still full of Xmas shoppers many of whom stopped and waved us on and shouted “Merry Xmas” to us, we all waved back and they loved it.
Then we came across the first Check, was it left up the hill or across the road and into one of the many beautiful Helensvale Parks??
A shout of “On On” was heard to come from a Hasher in the park so into the park it was. Several more Check-Backs kept most of the runners together, only a few falling behind.
The run criss-crossed around many of the side streets and eventually all the pack were together again.
Another check……this time it was up the hill or down the hill……most of the seasoned Hashers guest right…up the hill it was towards the water tanks.
Along the rough path, passed the big water tank and then onto Tamworth Drive where we were greeted by a big friendly man who, fortunately, had an even friendlier German Shepherd dog…..the man, like the shoppers, wished us a Merry Xmas and gave us a wave and his dog wagged it’s tail….
A bit of a slog down Tamworth for about a kilometre and then another Check. Again most Hashers picked it right….down into the scrub and into Dromana Court….again the locals shouting encouragement and wishing us Merry Xmas.
From here we ended up on Discovery Drive and it was a nice and easy run back to the Pub, with just one detour passed the tennis courts and then it was time for a couple of cold beers!!
After wiping off the sweat and applying some deodorant, beers flowed freely gratis of the hare. We had a surprise visit from one of the best known Gold Coast Soccer players which was very well received.
Then our acting GM opened the circle by asking for a run report….”well marked, many arrows, interesting terrain and probably the run of the year!” came the response from the pack.
Many great jokes, funny real life experiences and general good humour followed. There were no charges …and no rabble behaviour tonight!!
We did however ice “Pull my Tit” from the Paris Hash. The Stand In GM presented him with a bottle of bubbles for being a good sport. A goodwill down down was also given to “I don’t believe this” for being a front running bastard.
The GM announced the next run would be 24 December 2018 and closed the circle.
The Helensvale Tavern Bar was full of friendly drinkers, all of whom made us feel very welcome and the eye candy fantastic, the feed of Lamb Shanks was delicious, almost as good as Freddies! The touring party couldn’t get over the high standard of food we all enjoyed.
Wine flowed freely, kindly donated by the acting GM and then it was time for home. A great night, well attended and what a Hash run on Xmas Eve should be!
Run 1833
Date : 17 December 2012
Hare : Committee
Venue : Broadbeach
Runners 31
A Short Christmas Story
A group of 30 Santa impersonators gartered behind the Convention Centre around 5 PM and waited patiently for Santa’s little helper Montana to arrive.
When Montana arrived the happy old Santas wandered in a merry way around the Casino, through the Oasis, around the Oracle development, up the Broadbeach Mall and through the Niecon Plaza refurbishing lost fluids along the way and finally arriving at the Thai Thai restaurant for a banquet. They all had a jolly good time.
The End.
Next weeks run from The Helensvale Tavern. 5 o’clock start
Run 1832
Date : 10 December 2012
Hare : Head Job
Venue : The Spit
Runners 32
Weeks to the end of free birthday beers – 3.
A rather unexpected large group of 32 members gathered under the threat of showers at the far end of the Spit, with most anticipating a stuff up of a trail that could only go one way.
The psychology was to have the group believe that there was something of a surprise involved, having to pay during the run and receive an indelible mark to enable members to enter the “next place”. Was it going to be a restaurant somewhere, a fish & chip maybe; maybe a boat cruise? It was of course a hoax to ensure that all went at least as far as the drink stop, some 5 -6 klms round trip. And it worked.
THE RUN: Head job introduced 6 logs to the group with the instructions that the 30 odd runners and walkers were to be divided into 6 groups, with each group managing one log which had to be delivered to the Drink Stop, where the $15 would be collected. A character “team building” exercise was the theory. Luckily the logs were riddled with borer holes and not too heavy.
The trail headed off to the beach and went under the sand-pumping jetty then back up to the gravel trail that snakes its way through the scrub between the ocean and asphalt road (Seaworld Dr.). The 4 -5 carriers of each log quickly broke down to 2 and in most cases one after Two Dogs decided to forego his weekly kung fu training and set a cracking pace. Some competition gathered between several groups. Pile Driver, Jigsaw, Caustic, Rockhard and others were actually jogging much of the way.
Blackie made the wise move and promptly dumped his log in the nearby dumpster, thinking that his team mates might collect it. They did not. After about 25 minutes of punishment the first group arrived at the Pizza sponsored drink spot, where Flasher was smugly waiting with his usual claim of being first there. Ok Flasher, but where’s your fk’n log?
The smartest team arrived having completed the whole trail carrying their log with 2 slings below, sharing the weight among 4. A shat of an idea! After 2 -3 beers the GM cancelled the remainder of the run (the long run) and all headed back, Caustic and BB along the gravel trail and the remainder straight down the asphalt road making the time away just oven one hour.
THE NOSH: With wise use of the trailer the food was ready in record time. The banquet was presented around a long collection of tables and hash chairs, set in the middle of the large car park. Just like the Sound of Silence dinners at Uluru.
Well it could have been silent if Pizza stayed at home! First there were nibblies followed by perfectly cooked white rice with a chilly seasoned concoction of beef mince and onions which some liked; some didn’t. The dessert was small fruit mince-meat tarts with cream and a raspberry on top – very tasty as long as you didn’t eat the alum. foil they came in.
THE CIRCLE: Caustic was handed the first down down for talking and showing no respect for the GM, then the hare Head Job and the beer sponser Pizza were called out. Shat spoke convincingly in favour of the Run and suggested it become an annual event; score 10/10, but with a sly deceitful grin.
The nosh was considered very tasty and was liked by batchelor Truck Tyres and he scored it 7.5/10. A good effort for a first-time hare with little assistance. It was suggested to Pizza that maybe his next sponsored brew be the crowd favourite – his black beer.
Returners Platypus ex Darwin and Mother Brown, not too sure where he’s from or why he is here were given DDs.
RA caught Pile Driver and VD having a chat and leaning on a truck and were accordingly punished. He also extracted a couple of jokes from the circle.
He called the POW several times and eventually Mohomad El Flash-Her appeared in full jihad regalia. Mohamod was very loud and threatening and looked the part with his head cover, long black beard, white outfit and bombs around his waist.
However we realised that it was only Flasher when Mohamod set out his prayer mat in the wrong direction. As most know poor Mohamad damaged his thumb last week when Ferrett tried to pull his pants down and a schuffle commenced, however in his belignerent state for some reason Moh. thought it was our beloved RA and handed the prick, with suitable CDs on Islam and the holy Koran to secure his spiritual salvation, to Circumference.
The RA succumbed gracefully under Mohamod’s loud screams of guilty, guilty, guilty, it was you infidel, you infidel. I will blow us all up!
ANNOUNCEMENTS:
Christmas Party next Monday. Arrive 1700 behind Broadbeach Convention Centre for 1730 start. Any visitors $100; otherwise $25 for regular runners.
No RUN Xmas eve.
An early start 1700 on New Years Eve somewhere in Broadbeach. Ladies welcome, with free glass of champagne.
Just as at the beginning of the Circle, serial interjector Caustic was given a closing DD for trying to set up his 80 year old mother, who is about to visit the Coast, with any willing Hasher of whom he claimed there were many of similar age!
The Moonbeams imposter Josephine closed the Circle at 2055.
Thanks Head Job for a memorable evening and Pizza for the free piss.
All the above is the gospel truth, as remembered by Turpin Sorenob aka Bent Banana
