Date: 13th May  2019……………………………
Location: Ashmore ………………………………
Runners:37…………………………………………..

Run Pictures…………………………………….

Heirachy: In memory of departed Hashmen

Hares: ARSENIC, PEPEI LA PEW, SKYHOOK

 

Nosh: Sir RABBIT

RUN REPORT 2167

Notable Hashmen including those pictured gathered at Ashmore in a celebration of their mates who are now looking down on us from Hash Heaven. More of that later.

ARSENIC directed the runners one way and the walkers another as happened last week. Still not sure how that works. I took a stroll with the walkers minus SIR PRINCE VALIANT who was shamed last week by SWOLLEN COLON and re-joined the Runners. At first opportunity past GM WEEKLY and partner in crime WRONGWAY took what they considered the right way as we passed the start point. This was only minutes after they started! Where is SWOLLEN COLON to call out these scoundrels? The rest of us made a reasonable walk of it and stayed on Trail for sometime until we again saw the lights of home and succumbed to the pleasures that awaited. Back at base we found our new Boozemasters had constructed a Pop Up Private Bar for the exclusive use of their fellow Members complete with a wide choice of excellent beers and fine wines at unbeatable prices. They continue to excel!

SIR RABBIT was busy with a steaming pot of curry and also preparing a green salad.

Slowly the pack returned – Runners in 55 minutes after 6km  and walkers in their own time and distance.

After pre-dinner drinks the Nosh was available with KB helping out and devoured with glee by the 35 hungry Runners with warnings by the Nosh Master to put their toilet paper in the refrigerator. My meal was excellent and similar comments came from around the tables.

A light shower came as GM ICEMAN called the Circle to order resulting in a sitting & standing Circle with all crammed into a small but dry space . The GM had a new set of robes and headgear from his wide collection and added class to the proceedings.

Run Report by SIR TWO DOGS: Potentially good, needed more arrows, good country and various other BS.

Walk Report by VD: Short! What was he saying? That is what all walkers crave!

Nosh Report by BOTCHO: Grand job, suggested all should email ARSENIC about something, and, back to the food, two of the pack, CIRCUMFERENCE and SBENDS had arranged Takeaway for their wives, grand children etc. SBENDS also pronounced it a great Vindaloo. No one argued his choice of names.

WEEKLY told us how to vote and SBENDS made a tear jerking presentation of silver tankards doubling as stubbie holders to the new Boozemasters.

POW: SIR BLACK STUMP stepped forward and gave a long speech about times gone by and an old friend who he had slept with many times in many places. This turned out to be me and in  spite of my cries of Hierarchy exemption I was lumbered with the POW. Note that he had turned the POW purple!

SWINDLER reported that TRUCKIE now has a book on building retaining walls and can give advice on this if you need it.

New Member – Dave Geoghan was named READYMIX in a nod to his previous role as a concrete contractor that resulted in him now living in the biggest waterfront concrete house in Paradise Waters.

STD was sung a song in honour of his birthday during which SBENDS was talking.

Mention was made of the great job AUSSIE was doing on table cleaning. Yours for the year AUSSIE!

RA SPV took the stump resplendent in terry towel and honoured Hashmen past beginning with Sewage who left us on 15th May 1985, 34 years ago.

He told one poignant story of a past Hashman whose wife had arranged for his ashes to be scattered on a Run not knowing that he had died on the job with his girlfriend while on a fishing trip. And another of one who when the curtain closed at his cremation was heard over the PA saying ‘Shit its hot in here’ to the strains of ‘Baby light my fire’…..More stories this time next year.

The Circle was finally closed to a rousing rendition of our Hash Song sung from new laminated song sheets.

Your Scribe – CAREFREE

Date: 29th April  2019…………………………….
Location: Mainbeach …………………………….
Runners:36……………………………………………..

Run Pictures

Location Peters Seafood Main Beach

Hare Wrong Way

Great Location – Great Food – Great night – Pity about the run.

The Hashmen returned from the run/walk to the waterfront tables near Trawler wharf beside Palazzo Versace. The boozemasters Skyhook and Arsnik did a great job setting up the eskies and tables to cater for the thirsty hashmen. Within minutes of the runners returning, the curtains on the windows of the $1500 per night Versace units were drawn closed as the fun a frivolity of the night began. The fishing Trawler departed and Peter the Fisherman rubbed his hands together and a huge grin grew on his chin as Wrong Way order 40 serves of fish and chips with Greek salad! The questions began, “how can he do it for the price?”… the answer, this meal was heavily subsidized by the hare. Thank you WW.

The new GM, dressed in his regalia and proudly wearing his un-ironed, green dressing gown, called the circle to order and like a politician on the election campaign, announced his policies for hash this year – Disillusioned.. Decorum, and no Dissent, adding that there will be no penalties for hierarchy members. The response was an audible moan from the pack.

Swollen Colon  gave the run report telling the circle it was a boring shit prick of a run with no checks and only four arrows up to the spit and back and gave it a score of 1. This score was objected to because it was too high!

Shat gave the walkers report, complaining that the serenity of the waterside walk was interrupted by Fullashit on his phone. Fullashit was saved a down down using his new hierarchy immunity.

The GM then called for visitors and returning runners, and Missing Link was given a down down and shared he has been in FNQ in his Linkmobile with Mrs Link. Surcumference announced the new Hollywood movie named after Missing Link and is looking forward to its release.

The RA reminded the GM to invite the hare into the circle. Wrong Way asked if everyone enjoyed the coral trout he had caringly prepared, and the two fruit desert that he had spent many hours dicing and mixing. Square Root gave the nosh report saying it was the best $5 fish and chips he has eaten.

GM called the RA to the circle and Sir Prince immediately invited his best mate into the circle to explain how 4 people including his daughter required medical care for varying injuries related to a brick wall and an excavator. A down down was given to Miscarriage for his continued misadventures with machinery. After the RA shared his story about his trusty Patrol running low on oil, Missing Link was once again in the circle to explain his mechanical prowess, and how he became the dipstick as there was not enough oil in the transmission of the Linkmobile. Please send your donations to #Ineed $5000for a new transmission.

AGPU presentations continued and the three people, who did not get an award on the evening of the AGPU, received an award tonight. Exelpet received the dummy spit award. Best Nosh was awarded to Mrs Kwakka, and accepted by Kwakka. Skyhook and Arsenic, got their official boozemaster certificates, and the most memorable run trophy once again remained un-presented so it can be memorable next week. The circle thanked the new boozemasters for their effort and dedication to the bucket.

Charges:

Sir Rabbit and Bluecard were charged with comparing the size of their “sub woofers” raising suspicion about a rule 1 infringement. Fullashit did not use his immunity and had a down down with Square Root for their rule 1 infringement on the Tram after the AGPU. Miscariage also charged Weekly with being a tosser and gave him another down down.

Weekly was called out again to answer some questions about the AGPU and Surcumference asked why Weekly’s run last week had two sets of words. It appears that the On Sec, Care Free, (yes he is the On Sec) outsourced the words twice in the same week. Despite several attempts Weekly was not given the opportunity to explain the answer to the questions. He was given another down down.

POW handed from Pepe le Pew to Swollen Colon for whining about the trail and calling it a prick of a run even though he did not complete it.

KB announced that Miscarriage was returning his old mate Phil, to rest beside his wife in Japan.

The circle came to a close at 9 pm with the new GCH3 theme song sung loud and proud by the Phantom Choir. This will be a weekly tradition, so please learn the words.

OH WHEN THE HASH

THE GOLD COAST HASH

OH WHEN THE HAS BOYS GATHER ROUND

YOU HAD BETTER BE FEELING THIRSTY

WHEN THE HASH BOYS GATHER ROUND

WE DRINK AND RUN

SHIT LOADS OF FUN

WE ARE THE GOURMET HASH ITS TRUE

SO JOIN US ON THE GOLD COAST

A DOWN DOWN WILL WELCOME YOU

WE SCULL OUR BEER

WE SIT ON ICE

UNTIL OUR ARSE TURNSCOLD AND BLUE

BUT THAT’S ALL PART OF HASHING

IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT ..FUCK YOU!

On On

Nasty…Just helping out. Carefree on tour

Date: 22th April  2019…………………………….
Location: Merrimac …………………………….
Runners:26……………………………………………..

Run Pictures

Two reports this week see below

This was the first run under the new Hierarchy, The mob all waited with baited breath to see how the new GM Iceman, would handle matters of state. “THE KING IS DEAD – – LONG LIVE THE KING” – well that is what we all thought, but the new king was nowhere to be seen, probably fucked of to god knows where like Edward with Wallis, so we had to dig up the corpse of the old king who was rancid even before he became a corpse. We put him up front to run the show. As he was also Hare, it was a Weekly Wouble Wammy!

Carefree was in Sydney (he can’t seem to cut himself off from down there, I mean what’s going on); he designated me as stand in Scribe. It was a large turnout for Easter in spite of impending rain.
The dead King Weekly gave trail instructions as the rain may have wiped out markings, runners 6.1km. walkers either 2.8km. or 5km. most walkers took line of least resistance, this short option.

The trail looped from the reserve straight up to Nerang road and turned back in through the Surfers Golf Club. Must say it was a pleasant trail as the landscaping was great and once inside the golf club, no cars or houses, just nice trees and plants. Eventually it emerged direct from the golf course on to the reserve where the on on was set up.

Blacky and Brewtus were the first runners in – age and youth!! I walked with S Bends and Slug, the three of had a good whinge about Shorten/Bowen plan for franking credits and how we may not be able to afford $15 for a hash meal after the election.

At run end the new Booze master, Skyhook had things organized well for his maiden go at the job, no doubt his mentor S Bends gave him detailed instructions The new Trail master Sir Rabbit was scurrying around squeaking, (do rabbits squeak?) about how he was about to do a whole of year run schedule in one hit and “the bastards can sort themselves out later”. Sounded like Chris Bowen attitude to retirees
New hash Cash, Kwakka slid comfortably in to his role. I heard he inherited $2,000 from last year’s cash. Now we will have to make sure this does not just evaporate in to the atmosphere, as I was informed there was never a credit file check, any financial references, or police records check done on Kwakka before he got the job. I mean how irresponsible is that! One question unanswered is – was the New GM Iceman absent on his first run; away on some sort of junket to use up the $2,000??? More will be revealed when he finally fronts up, if he ever does.

Trucky had the trailer ready and there was a big awning sail under which the seating was placed, however it was open weave shade cloth and allowed the rain to penetrate .The King’s – (Weekly the 1st) repast of steak (not mince, old chap) with lettuce, tomatoes and onions, ably cooked by Sir Prince Valiant (more royalty), was pretty good, but the desserts were to die for (well Weekly is a dead King isn’t he?). Mrs. Weekly had made a big chocolate soufflé and a huge tray of apple slice with whipped cream topping – absolutely delicious. Mrs. Weekly is Weekly’s woman, perhaps that’s where the Woman’s Weekly comes from with all the royal news.
We just got through the grub when the heavens opened and down it came. How could God do this at Easter?  The mob squeezed under the two trailer doors in raised position, but to no avail. Eventually Weekly called “end of circle” before it began, never seen that maneuver done before. Kind of like putting your head up your own arse.
Without the usual circle antics, unfortunately I have nothing to report, no SOW, no miscreants, no nothing really at all. Oh well! At least this week we can occupy our minds reading this week’s Woman’s Weekly about Meghan’s baby.

ON ON – Brengun – acting scribe

Ex GM Weekly found a children’s playground complete with swings and very see through shade cover for the venue for his event from Merrimac. The hare who has had plenty of experience with rain before on his runs was carefully looking at a plan B alternative venue.With very threatening skies overhead, most hashers decided a quick walk would be far safer than a long run, so only a handful of runners took off. Although there was no flour or gyprock trail which meant you were never really on or off trail, the hare had provided weather-proof maps for Brutus and the runners and Sir Prince Valiant and the walkers. With golf courses surrounding the venue , it was the only way for the trails to go and the surrounds of Lakelands figured prominently. Although most hashers were concerned when they returned about the ever threatening looming dark clouds, it didn’t take long for them to find the cheese/crackers and a cold beverage. As we all know the government is in caretaker mode at the moment and one could be forgiven for thinking that the hash was also in caretaker mode with very little representation from the new committee. However thankfully the skeleton staff of a RA,Trailmaster,Boozemaster,Hash Cash and Trailermaster in their attendance kept the basic tenets of a hash group together to keep sort of semblance of a normal night of hashing. Weekly announced that the first course of a tasty beef minestrone soup  was served just as the rain started coming down. So hashers grabbed their soup and huddled under both sides of the trailer using the sides as a covering from the ever increasing rain. When they had finished their soup, steak burgers and salad were quickly served next up and hashers got even closer together as the rain was now coming down heavier. There was one major problem developing and that was the eskies were under the non-waterproof shade cloth in the playground and to get a drink meant a thorough soaking.

There was a brief interlude with the rain easing off just in time for the home made apple pie and cream and the alcohol infused chocolate/strawberry torte

 cake to be served as desserts. Hashers kept coming back for more of these tasty delights until they were pretty well all consumed. The RA decided to keep the proceedings going and suggested an early circle as the weather again started to intervene and this time all hell broke loose. The rain was pelting down and coming in sideways as well  and the water was dripping through the sides of the trailer which had become temporary roofing as shelter. So it was a quick word about the run/walk/nosh and lets forget about the POW and next weeks run details as everyone started screaming -End of Circle as it was now raining cats and dogs and overflowing gutters were raising the water levels around everyone’s shoes. It didn’t take long for everyone to run to their cars with one thing on their mind which was – Lets get the flock out of here !

All in all, the hare had gone to a lot of trouble for a nice fine night event but as he is coming to realise, every time he sets a run, it pisses down at some stage of the evening, so he always has a Plan B which often includes the undercover Robina Cricket Club, a handy back-up.

Monday’s run details are on the webpage. It is from the rear of Peter’s Seafoods, near Versace at Main Beach. Wrong Way/Woodsie is the hare.

On On

Circumference(on brief secondment from AAP Rooters while there is a transition of scribes from the Square Root of Fuck All

to Carefree, currently on a cycling tour around Sydney.)

Date: 15th April  2019…………………………….
Location: Broadbeach …………………………….
Runners:45……………………………………………..

Run Pictures

This is the event of the year where the hierarchy changes place for a new team, for a new year of term and service. To present awards to deserving hash men. The afternoon was bright and clear and free beer was welcomed.

All runners looked so good in the formal dress for this great night. We did notice that the GM slipped away, looking dressed as Jeremy the cricket with his dress tails. He was off on a mission to arrange the AGPU at a secret destination, that of La Pochetta  Restaurant.

A few drinks later, as by a silent command the runners were off, following like the Pipe Piper to our first drink stop at The Broadbeach Pup. After further beers and chat, we all again followed the Pipe Piper onto The Envy Hotel. Along the way, there were many  astonish and inquiring stares from the public.  Then the Pipe Piper led us the evening’s restaurant.

On our arrival at La Pochetta restaurant, the tables were neatly set up with cold beer in stainless steel buckets and bottles of various wines.

The GM Weekly and S-Bends were our Master of Ceremonies for the evening. Menus were presented to the dinners for all sorts of meals, to many to mention. The  ‘starters’ were delived to the tables consisting of chicken prices and calamari rings which was a favourite for all.

The first of the nominations of the evening were for the Hash Flash and the On On Scribe. Fuller Shit is now our new cameraman and Carefree is the newly nominated Scribe. For their term in office they were presented with T-Shirts.

The runners enjoyed all the proceedings of awards and new nominations and contributed to high chatter level in the restaurant.  The very active evening for good reason, could not be fully recorded. The  nominations and rewards list is included in this newsletter, to see and congratulate your new hierarchy for the year 2019 to 2020.

This night, Nasty reminds us what Hashing is all about.”We are a group on men who do have fun and share fun moments with all men.”

9.45 pm.  The evening eventually closed with some runners returning to previously visited pubs.

I trust my words have entertained you and placed a few smiles on your faces, of the antics some runners get up to.  Have delivered the year 2018 to 2019 history of the Gold Coast Hash, so we are able to read the good times we have had again. Thanking you for contacting those absent mates.

On On Sec.     Square Root.   2018/2019.

GCH3 Awards 2019