Host: Birthday Boy Nasty
Location: Ristorante Rennaissance
Date: 27th May 2011
Great fun was had by all that turned up to help Nasty try and forget that he is now 51 years young. I don’t know about you, but I’ve forgotten already. Must have been Pizza’s Red that I helped him to finish off, followed by a few cleansing ales at Landsdown Road.
I’m feeling pretty good this morning and looking forward to our next “Big Day Out”.
Apparently Ferret is our next Host.
Run 1751
Hare: Blowfly
Location: Len Fox Park, Labrador
Date:23rd May. 2011
Where is the R/A ???? It’s pissing down!!!!!
Where is Sir A/H?
Where is Missing Link?
Where is everyone ????????
It’s 5.55Pm and Botcho, Veteran and Sir Slab have shown up!!!
5.57Pm .Ring, ring …. Caustic here … Where the fuck is Cumsmoke?? I’m going to have to drive myself !!!!
6.05Pm We have just hit double figures and the hare has finally shown up smelling like boiled chicken and soy sauce.
6.15Pm The rain has stopped and the total of 14 hashers including the hare head off wondering where the F$#@ the booze master is too!!!
A leisurely wander along the seawall for the walkers ends up at the Grand Hotel public bar for a celebratory drink funded by KB’s mate’s horse that came in a 9 to 1. The runners head out hoping like hell the trail is still there and end up at the Labrador dog park before the rain soaked trail disappears into the drainage system.
On On back to the nosh and a few cold beers …. Cumagen has turned up and 15 happy hashers settle into a meal made for 25.
Mrs Magg’s secret recipe “Beef chow min” enough chicken wings for an army followed by Blowfly’s homemade sticky date pudding and ice cream and Sir Rabbit’s contribution of tasty sweet bits stolen from a Mrs Rabbit function.
The pack is more than satisfied and comments of “Gourmet Hash is back” echo across the park.
The stand in – stand in – stand in – stand in GM Caustic finishes his hash cash duties discovering the black hole now looks more like a crater with only 14 payers tonight …the AGPU stands a serious chance of fish and chips in the park BYO.
Make sure you come along to Botcho’s this week for a great run and nosh and bolster the Hash coffers to boot.
Circle in 2 Minutes … Caustic has got his moment in the sun and dreams of his chances of GM at the AGPU.
First up is the hare …. Blowfly.
NOSH report …. Croc 12/10 acting, acting, acting GM … Excellent
TRAIL report ….. Two Dogs …Found most of the trail but got down to 4 runners in the end.
WALK report … Sir Slab…. nice walk cold beer too.
Rug gives the note.
Hash cash …. no show but the black hole is GROWING !!!
Hash crash (Aussie) …has failed the first horizontal marital planking exercise.
Hash crook ….. Mrs Rockhard …not too well recently, a few complications. All the best Rockhard.
Acting, acting, acting R/A Caustic calls for….
CHARGES…… Croc calls for Blowfly to explain the BLOW-BY causing Mrs Blowfly to be up the duff. No “gumboots” was the reply.
POW … Acting, acting POW, Botcho was commissioned by Dicky Knee to hand the POW to Cumsmoke for thrashing his beloved Essendon … But NO SHOW from the R/A sees the POW held over.
8.10PM Moonbeams calls “ END OF CIRCLE” (world record shortest circle pending)
Next week’s run … Botcho’s golf course pad. 26 Chip-in place Helensvale
The oven will be on !!!! Just look for the smoke haze.
Please attend …. we NEED the money!!!!
AGPU……. just one more run then
6/6/2011
Dress Hash Formal …. Top hats mandatory!!!!!
( Sir AH .. Blowfly is looking for his!!)
Pre-Lube Address is ;
The Boat Ramp carpark,
33 T.E.Peters Drive,Broadbeach
(In front of Freshwater Point Apartments)
Pre-lube Drinks and Nibbles
Meet between 4.30 and 5pm and leaving pre-lube venue SHARP 5.30pm
Dress Code
Hash Formal inc Hash tOP Hat,Hash Dress shirt and Hash Jacket/Tails
Entertainment
To be supplied however brush up on your pole dancing and planking !
Travel Arrangements
Make your own way there and back!
World record shortest circle nomination CANCELLED !!!!
Circle re-opened for 3rd time
Splinter lunch ….. Flames grill at Chevron Renaissance this Friday
Sir Slab gets flack over Caustic’s 2nd rate bike and driver error is resolved as the problem.
15 minutes of talking shit follows and it’s now 8.35 as a wet and VERY well fed pack wander home to the slippers and a hot totty.
On On
KB… Just one more !!!!!!!! YES !!!!!!!!
Run 1750
Hares: Mumbles & Rug
Location: Mumble World. Nerang
Date: 16th May. 2011
GCHHH Run 1750 Rug/Mummmmbles.
The Mummmmbles (playboy)mansion is the venue for this week’s run.
The GM’s away so the mice will play!!!!
Onnnnnnnnn Onnnnn oop tha ill, the pack heads off into the chilled darkness.
SCB’s are out in force and NOT ONE hashers does the full run. Rug drops out early to head back and save Mrs Rug’s catering gear ….. seems the bain-maries work so much better with water in them.
The pack is back in no time having cut half the trail off….. The walkers stumble in last but just in time for enough sausage rolls to feed an army. Followed by an excellent pork casserole, rice served up silver service in Mrs Rug’s catering gear used in Singapore to feed the Hash over there.
Then out comes the bread and butter pudding ……….. Rug has lifted the NOSH BAR to very high levels.
8.12pm Circle in 2 minutes.
8.15pm The SITTING circle starts (GM away privilege)
Acting GM Sir AH calls for the “Hobbit Hares” Rug and Mummmmmmmbles.
NOSH REPORT
Caustic ……. Catering superlative!!!!
Dicky Knee …….. Dessert gets 10/10
Josephine ….. I hated Bread and Butter pudding as a kid and I STILL do !!!
RUN REPORT
Bent Banana (standing in for Flasher) leads the pack astray and gets them totally off trail.
Rug explains his water run.
Moonbeams gives a note.
TWO DOGS is up next and gets his jacket for 800 runs …. seems he has another 100 runs to claim but there was no Hash official in attendance at the holiday resort.
Point Two gives the well deserved note.
Sir AH announces only 3 weeks to the AGPU …. late bribes welcome … refer Hash Cash or any Hierarchy member.
Miscarriage claims French lessons are under way for his quick dash to the Royal wedding and his twin brother’s Paris visit.
LOST PROPERTY ….. Hash towel … being sent special delivery to Sir Prince in the UK.
POW ….. Sir Slab
Sir Slab claims he has many PRICKS to consider.
Smart Pricks.
Dumb Pricks.
Big Pricks.
Little Pricks.
All Pricks.
But the award goes to POOR Prick Dicky knee that has to have a double knee transplant and lose 50 kgs
Then he is diagnosed with sleep apnoea and had to swallow radioactive tablets.
HOWEVER Dicky has announced he will cancel all of these and his secret transfer to Melbourne ( see Flasher) if his GM campaign is successful.
Mummmmmbles gives the nooooote.
Dicky spews at the ¾ mark on the DD.
R/A is next.
Seems GCHHH has made the records of the Brisbane Supreme court…. how rude of them!!!!!!!! Stating Hash has a SERIAL BINGE DRINKING reputation.
CHARGES …
Mumbles charges Point Two with failing the Intelligence challenge to untangle the Christmas bells inside two hours.
Mummmmmmmbles gives the note.
Miscarriage is off to the ROYAL wedding as the official Hash representative.
He is also representing GCHHH at the London Hash run next week while his twin is spreading goodwill an international relations.
Miscarriage again ….. Gets complimented by treasurer Wayne Swan on the Mackay stadium job. By government standards is has been exceptional……. only 40% over budget, 3 months late, Indigenous housing under the seating as a bonus and open air toilets to boot. Well done Miscarriage!!
Missing Link reports all on track for the AGPU … Not to be missed with the black hole in turbo mode.
Next week’s run ….. Blowfly
Seems Mrs Blowfly has had a minor miscalculation on the birth control methods and there is a little maggot on the way.
With the family Hash history this child is destined for a Hash career….. We feel it is our duty to assist with the naming of the child, so please send you suggestion to our web-site.
Splinter lunch will be a Flames Chevron Renaissance…. great steaks!!!!
Shat tells the joke of a unique tattoo on the inner thigh that has both visual and taste/smell senses stimulated.
Its 8.40pm .. The full moon is glistening over the Mummbles garden fish pond, the Playboy bunnies are just about to arrive at the mansion, Hash must depart!!
Moonbeams calls …. END OF CIRCLE !!!!
Host: Sir Slab
Location: Celsius Restaurant, Burleigh Heads
Date: 29th April. 2011
What a Lunch. Twenty Hashers joined host Sir Slab for a great afternoon. You could not fault the venue, the wine or the company. The staff at Celsius gave as good as they got and a good laugh was had by all.
Sir Slab also planned a run after lunch which could have been the down fall of most. Running to the Bowls Club then onto the Surf Club saw most of us a little second hand the next day.
Well done Sir Slab.
After many hours of editing Flasher’s Flasherism part one can be viewed here
After many more hours of editing Flasher’s Flasherism part two can be viewed here
Nasty will be the next Host.
Run 1749
Hare: Rainbow
Location: Nerang
Date: 9th May, 2011
GCHHH Run 1749 Rainbow/Caustic Crusader Sewerage memorial run.
What’s that on the windscreen??? Surely not rain AGAIN !!! Has the R/A failed yet again??? Well now the wipers are on high speed and the boat in the park can be seen through the blur…. Parked looking into the park it is quite evident the shelters are used as free training facilities by the local fitness trainers ……… little do they know that 27 elite athletes are about to descend on them.
The rain subsides just in time for Rainbow to announce he has only one piece of chalk and the flour was laid 4 hours ago… not looking good !!!!
On On over the bridge a mix of walkers and running trail blazers head into the darkness all headed to pay respects to the fallen hashers since departed.
All goes well and we have 24 hashers gathered at Sewerage’s graveside waiting for the few stragglers to show up ….. 20 minutes goes by and Sir Rabbits Hash foot candle is about to expire …. torch lights over the common give hope that we have finally got the full pack… Nasty says “F$#@ it’s a bloody swamp in there !!” finally Swollen emerges out from under the 3 foot high grass and Old Fart follows in minutes to come in second from a full run for the first in his Hash career. Where the F$%# is that light going ….. A quick head count and it is worked out that Girls is lost in the swamp … finally after countless “Areyou” calls the dim light of Girl’s torch shows round the back of the lake… The pack re-forms and Girls arrives just in time to here the comments of Sir Prince and join in a hymen of remembrance for Sewerage and other departed Hashers. On back to the nosh for Caustic’s chicken curry delight and fresh Turkish bread with enough for seconds all round, followed by Rainbow’s home baked delicacies (Coles)and lamingtons fresh from Woolworths. Caustic has done well with not much notice the pot is scaped dry and 1,000,000 farts are brewing already.
FREE PISS FREE PISS … It’ Two Dog’s birthday Old beers all round… Thanks Two Dogs!!!!!!!!
The fitness guys have finally gone so “Circle in 2 Minutes” is called.
It’s 8.55PM ….. Circle.
The HARE ….. Rainbow.
Seems security came looking for lights across the field. Girls and Miscarriage found a bond in the darkness, Missing link is still looking for his left shoe somewhere in the bog and Swollen has officially joined the Wherethefuckarewe tribe. Mumbles gives the note.
NOSH .. Out sourced Caustic Crusader and Coles direct Rainbow get a vote of confidence from all.
Rainbow says “very good GM “ Hmmm (His run)
Sir Rabbit says …, Where’s the bloody rice??
Two Dogs gives the note.
YELLOW CODE
Missing Link fails but calls hierarchy exemption.
“F” for fart …. Old Fart gets it !!!
VISITORS
Just Bob … Swollen’s guest
Sir AH gives him a note.
Barnacle is recognized and Roy the big “O” is back again with “Only the lonely” echoing across the Nerang river … NOTE .. No hash gear!!!
Sir Rabbit is recognised for his 1400 runs and a royal inquest is opened into Sir Rabbit’s run score ( I’m backing Sir Rabbit) Sir Rabbit is presented with a brand new Hash 1400 runs jacket that is quickly taken back for embroidery. Nasty gets a DD for leaving his treasured silver goblet behind somewhere.
Rockhard gives the note………
RETURNING RUNNERS…..
Rockhard Back from the West with $$$$$$$$$
Swollen back from London supporting Mrs Swollen having spent $$$$$$$$$$$$$ Suck’s up to GM Flasher with a stale can of pommy piss.
Croc gives the note.
R/A is next.
Charges ???
Caustic lays a trumped up charge about some questionable rule one infringements from kids at the top of the hill last week. Croc adds fuel to the fire with Bonfire tales and KB gets the DD.
R/A debates a nonagon (Nine sides) only to trap the majority in the octagon EIGHT sided shelter.
POW … Just John.
Nominates Nasty coz he is a “nice” person (He’ll learn)
Then Sir Slab for getting him into this Hash bit!!!
Sir Slab gets the POW
Sir Prince offers a note.
GM Flasher announces he is off on official Hash business O/S for 2 weeks.
Flasher also gives a report on Pizza lost at KL airport and rescued by a hasher who turns out to be from the same wog town as Pizza and now found a newest best friend ……Poor bastard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Two Dogs announces is just a mere 52years this week.
Nasty gives him a birthday note.
Ports all round for those who are not driving and a Hash Hymen for departed Hashers.
Next week’s run gets greeted with blank looks from co-hares Mumbles and Rug
“ What F$#%@&*$ Run !!!!!….. Maybe that was because they were in the company of the rest of the dwarfs ( see photos) and the thought they were Dopy and Sleepy.
Bent Banana calls ……. End of circle…..It’s 9.45 PM
KB is off home to enjoy 1,000 farts over the next 5 hours … Mrs KB NOT impressed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SAFE TRAVELS FLASHER !!!!
On On
KB.