Date: 5/10/5015

Run: 1979

Location: Burleigh Heads

Hare: Truck Tyres

       Runners:22

Find us on Facebook

Leave a comment or post a picture

 

Tonight was Truckie’s birthday run…happy birthday mate…72 years and going strong!!!…and thank you for the birthday Crownies which were greatly appreciated by all.

The Pre-run and run:

The instructions on the website were as follows:Park on DUNLIN DRIVE in the vicinity of house No 116 to 120 (house numbers are on the kerb), at the entrance to Burleigh Cove estate. Walk over the pedestrian bridge beside No 116, to assemble on the lake shore reserve behind my place. Note: Please DO NOT try parking or entering from Beachcomber Court…

 ….sounds simple enough, doesn’t it? Well, Sir Prince Valiant and I were crossing the bridge when we spotted Mme Latrine down in the Park… “bloody hell, it’s amazing the people you see walking around here, isn’t it Fanny Charmer?” says Sir Prince as we merrily continue walking along the path after the bridge….and only after we’d gone some 500 metres did someone yell out “on back, on back you blokes!”. Apparently it was Mme Latrine’s job to shepherd us all into the park so we could find Truckie’s place…not just stand there looking at us as we headed off into the distance, expecting us to be able to magically read his thoughts!!!

Eventually we were guided by Mme Latrine to the noisy gathering in Truckie’s backyard where the run description was given by our hare… “this is a suburban run and it’s hard to find much bush but I’ve tried to give you as little bitumen as possible”..and he then produces a bag containing a piece of chalk, a roll of toilet paper and some flour…. “now, there’s a bit of this (holding up the chalk)….there’s a bit of this (holding up the toilet paper) and there’s a bit of this (holding up a handful of flour)…and the run is on single point arrows and the walk is on double point arrows!!”. Now that we all knew what toilet paper, chalk and flour look like, off we went into the wilderness of Burleigh Waters.

This week your faithful scribe decided to throw caution and his dicky leg to the wind and did the whole run and it was a good one as it meandered through the wilds of Burleigh Waters and gave us a look at some interesting industrial estates, including the back of Bunnings and the Billabong warehouse and gave us the choice of a “drain crossing” where we could get our feet wet or for those of us scared off by the prospect of that, either wriggling under a fence or climbing over it, the latter being my choice and nearly coming down on Sir Blackstump as we was wriggling through underneath me!

The run was very well marked indeed with clear chalk marks at reasonable distances, toilet paper hung in obvious places and little dots of flour leaving no doubt as to the course to be followed….now this is how a run should be marked…good onya Truckie!!!

The Nosh:

 Truckie has excelled himself, and being obviously ably assisted by Kitchen Bitch, impressing us with a fine three course delight! First off we had some nibbles consisting of what looked to be honey soy chicken…devoured by some and leaving me wondering how on earth they were going to fit in the other two courses!!!

Mains was some great chunks of beef that were, well…let’s say ablaze on the barbeque at one stage…with Truckie assuring us that incinerating the meat is the “in thing” nowadays in haute cuisine circles… “it’s Brazilian style beef” we were assured!. This was served with sides of left over veges from last week’s run…not bad at all! Sweets was tinned peaches with custard and for those lucky enough to get in before it was all gone, some lovely pudding! In all, a great nosh and you’ve kept up the standard Truckie (and KB!).

The Circle:

First victim out the front…our hare Truckie…complemented on the run, which according to Flasher’s new TomTom watch was exactly 5.84km in length..to quote SIR Botcho… “you managed to find a great deal of bush out her in the wilds of suburbia!”. A well deserved down-down for Truckie.

Second out the front…the assistant chef KB and when asked if he did a run or a walk was adamant that he did do a run…”I ran down the bottom of the hill and back up to Truckie’s back gate!!”… a distance of around 5 metres! Another well deserved down down for his efforts on the nosh….and apparently it was SIR Botcho who gave some tips on the nosh, telling KB last week.. “just fucking freeze it, they won’t know the difference”…and if we all get food poisoning this week we can all blame it on Sir Botcho because the freezer didn’t work for about three or four days, but he deemed the left overs to be OK to serve up tonight.

Two returning runners tonight…Sir Blackstump…back from setting world records again in the USA… “it was a shit trip..customs in LA took all my bike bits, including my latex spray!!”…what on earth could that be for Blackie???? In total contrast to Blackie’s fitness adventure trip, BlueCard was in Canada touring all the cafes! BlueCard, unlike Blackie who presented the Acting GM with a bronze medallion, had no gift for the GM, only a yarn to tell…apparently he mistook a “personal hygiene cream” for women to be body lotion, which he smeared all over himself…when he read the label, in French, it is designed to make women’s “nether regions” smell nice…roughly translated into English… “designed to make a “c### smell good” he told us…”so you can’t call me a dirty c### anymore!!”…hahaha..says who??

Circumference was called out the front to take all the punishment on behalf of himself, Josephine, Sir Rabbit and Sir Two Dogs, all for having left poor old Croc behind last week! They will probably all be iced over this next week.

Miscarriage was called out for a down-down for coming to Hash last Monday, it being his wife’s birthday… “at least I put Hash first!!”…good to see he has his priorities in order.

Last but not least ……the USELESS award to this week was passed from Truckie (how could he forget it this week…he’s at home FFS!!) to none other than……Flasher!!!!!!! And for the record, let it be known he thoroughly deserved it!! Not only did Flasher abuse Truckie’s old mate JukeBox (from the Sydney Larrikins some years back), and in the process, guilty of offending Sor Botcho’s wife Cappa with his abusive language last week – he was up to more of his old stunts on the run this week!!! When Flasher found himself led down a drainage by-way with an impassable drain on the one side and a 8ft solid fence (climbed by some, including your faithful scribe) enclosing him on the other side (and in the company of other front runners)  – he transgressed in avoiding following the set trail through the large but ankle deep wet underpass ahead, to avoid getting his tootsies a little wet and was last seen heading off-trail, scurrying like a water rat up the embankment and wriggling his way beneath the fencing.

Yes, Flasher thoroughly deserved his icing AND the USELESS award for each of the foregoing transgressions…(and thankyou Truckie for the inspiration for this little snippet!).

Next week’s run…Oktoberfest

That’s all for now folks!!

Fanny Charmer

On Sec.

 

 

 

This Weeks Run Pictures

 

Date: 28/9/2015

Location: Burleigh Heads

Hare: The Ice party

       Runners:41

Executive Summary (for those who get bored reading too much):

The night of knights!!!!!….it has finally arrived….tonight was all about SIR TWO DOGS and SIR BOTCHOLISM and it’s going to be a long time until we have another knighting night in this hash because there are only three likely contenders for reaching this milestone in either their lifetimes or that of the rest of us, namely Ferret (916), Josephine (888) and Missing Link (754)….as for the rest of us…I cannot speak for anybody else, but I will be pushing up the daisies long before I get to knighthood status!!

In keeping with the “knight” theme, it was…you guessed it…a medieval night tonight!

It was pleasing to see that most of us, with the exception of the few who simply could not be bothered, went to great pains to procure garb of a medieval nature….and yes, Arabs did exist in medieval times so your trusty scribe, Missing Link and Miscarriage were entirely appropriately attired!!…the secondary intent behind this attire was also to rattle our resident Islamaphobe…he knows who he is!! It was nice to see that we all made such an effort for the two new knights.

 

 

 

It must also be said at the start that the outgoing committee and some helpers have done a sterling job to make tonight such a resounding success. Sir Slab to be commended for the venue…Caustic and Sir Rabbit for setting the place up and of course…KB for ensuring that we all dined with nothing less than haute cuisine…and to all those who helped on the night by serving and clearing up…a great team effort guys!!!

 

 

The Pre-run:

We all gathered at Sir Slab’s shed in the backblocks of West Burleigh for the “run” and “walk”…the words are in inverted commas as really they were a bit of a token gesture as we all wanted to get back and get into the festivities. Your trusty scribe again did the walk this week…a good stroll and the drink stop was nice…that is about it..the run was probably much the same…but given that tonight was all about the TWO SIRS…who really gives a rat’s rectum about the walk and run!!!

The Nosh:

 In usual style, KB has regaled us with a fine Gourmet Hash menu consisting of:

Potage of game soup

Seared yellow fin tuna with a dill mayonnaise sauce

Spit roasted piglet stuffed with apple and served with chicken and veggies

And last but not least, on the menu was an item described as “slow baked pears with home made crème Anglais…which looked to me awfully like tinned peaches serves with lashings of custard!!

 The costumes:

As you can see from the Hash pictures from the night, a great number of us went to a great effort to make this special for the TWO NEW KNIGHTS…particularly memorable though was Phantom, whose outfit of “King’s executioner”, complete with axe, bloodied apron, intestines hanging out of his pocket and severed feet was, to my mind at least, the most imaginative…great job Phantom!!

The most apt costume…our beloved village idiot!! Some village in the midlands is obviously desperately missing him!!…one day he may go FLASHing back there!

 

 

 

 

 

The Knighting:

The most formal part of the night was the knighting of SIR BOTCHOLISM AND SIR TWO DOGS…all performed with great pomp and ceremony by our substitute GM, Sir Prince Valiant.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A rundown of the hashing history of the TWO NEW KNIGHTS was given by SPV…SIR BOTCHOLISM did his first run in February 1993 and also of significance, has been our webmaster since 1997…what a sucker for punishment!! Sir BOTCHOLISM summed up his feelings in one short, but touching sentence to describe his hashing times… “a great bunch of blokes!!”

SIR TWO DOGS…commenced his GC Hashing career in June 1990 and we were all touched by his acceptance speech wherein he said that the hash has provided him with many special memories and he numbers his hash mates amongst his dearest friends!! I am sure that applies to a lot of us, not just SIR TWO DOGS!!

The frivolities of the night:

If you weren’t there…it’s none of your f###ing business…if you were there, you know what went on!! What happens at Hash stays at Hash..right??

Another notable milestone of the night:

 Congratulations must go to SIR SLAB…1400 runs tonight…bloody hell!!!

 

 

 

The Circle of sorts:

Welcome to JUKEBOX from Sydney…but ex-Kiwi who on the walk told me some interesting information about his good mate SIR BOTCHOLISM…now, how many crates of eggs went off the side of the pier with you Sir Botcho????????

Welcome also to Toad, a once a decade member of our Hash. A welcome also to Seedy, our Hasher out-posted to Bathurst most of the time.

 

 

 

The outgoing committee came out the front with most being abused by the gathered masses for their absolutely lousy attendance rate at Hash since they took their snouts out of the trough…..KB has only been 8 times since leaving office…despite what looked to be like a new leaf being turned with him actually running!! Swindler’s excuse on behalf of himself and many of the others… “but we’ve been overseas!!”.

Well, that’s my bloomin’ lot for this week…..

On On

Fanny Charmer

On-Sec

This Weeks Pictures

 

Date: 21/9/2015

Location: Main Beach

Hare: Carefree and the Wobblys

       Runners:32

 Next weeks run details

 

“Welcome gentlemen to the second great snaykunt…this year we will be successful…we will catch this slimy bastard who’s probably grown to twice the length he was last year!”…or words to that effect were uttered by our faithful hare for tonight, young Mr Carefree and with the familiar sounds of “on on”, off headed the motley pack of runners into the wilds of the Main Beach headland, where as has become the trend for hares setting runs in familiar territory… “there’s plenty of virgin territory out there guys…and don’t drown in the ocean!!”.

Gracing our presence tonight as visitors we had Bent Banana’s son-in-law, Mr D, down from Brisbane for a visit, along with his mate Nick the Greek, who is actually an Italian and whom yours truly, being able to do this as he is one himself, quickly anointed him with the honorary Hash name of “Wog C##t”!

The summation of the run was given by Bent Banana…..”it could have been a good run but some young blokes were rubbing out all of the arrows and we were all running around like chooks with our heads cut off”.

 The Run (and walk):

Your trusty scribe did neither the run nor the walk tonight due to a f##ked leg, but I am assured that the run tonight was a decent one, albeit one in well-known territory with no hills but most blokes thought it was good fun and a chance to have a leisurely, social time with each other….and after all, isn’t that what it was all about? Unfortunately the boa-constrictor wasn’t found tonight…maybe we’ll have to wait until the great snaykunt next year!

The walkers all ambled in in small groups, chatting amongst themselves in a very animated fashion, obviously also having had a good time…how far was it to the bar at the Southport surf club???

The Nosh:

The Nosh tonight was a corker if I do say so myself, but then I guess I am a bit biased, having been responsible for the mains curry! …the Nosh was a joint effort provided to you by four of your Warriors Premier Cycling Troupe….Carefree as chief maitre d’ and yours truly, Hard On and Moonbeams as sous-chefs. Entrée was “Little Boys”….known to me as frankfurts (but then I did grow up in the multi-cultural eastern suburbs of Sydney), with lashings of tomato sauce, mains was a beef and potato curry with basmati rice and Kumera and other assorted sides, all very tasty indeed! To top it all off we had individual servings of jelly and custard…great stuff Carefree, you’ve done the Warriors proud!

The Circle:

The GM has now departed on his business-class around the world trip…definitely a case of snout in the trough…thankfully it is not the Hash Hierarchy trough!! The very capable Sir Prince Valiant stood in tonight and did an admirable job of it, as one would expect from a Hasher with such a wealth of experience.

First out the front tonight were Carefree and his sous-chefs and a down-down was had after some much-deserved praise to us from everybody in the circle. We love youse all!!!

Caustic remarked in circle that at one stage he saw Colonel Klink out in the bush wrestling with a small snake, obviously not the much sought after Boa Constrictor! Apparently Klink managed to get the snake under control and he was seen to be secreting it into his clothing!

Next out the front were Mr D and Wog C##t, our two visitors…I’m sure that whilst they had a look of mild amusement on their faces, Wog C##t in particular was thinking.. …”wtf..this is so fucking weird!!”. I guess some of our little rituals can seem a tad weird to outsiders.

Next out for his dose of embarrassment was Botcho….happy birthday….69!!!…you don’t look a day over 40!!….and thanks for supplying the free Peronis…hooray for Botcho!!!

Next out the front for a down-down were Swindler, Hard On and Shat…for eating Botcho’s birthday cake before bringing it to Hash!! Thanks guys!!

Next in line for their dose of ridicule were Swollen Colon and Aussie…it was noted that the reason Swollen Colon cannot hash outside of his postcode of 4217 is that he has no licence…a paltry excuse!! Aussie told of his escapades in Greece and other far-flung places…and yes, he’s off again soon and won’t be seen for ages…this also accounts for his resignation from hierarchy.

As per usual, Flasher was brought out and made to eat humble pie for…you guessed it….shortcutting! Sir Slab and Carefree were brought out for a “hats in circle” infringement.

Various miscellaneous charges came from the floor and then we moved onto the Useless Shirt award…again Truckie has forgotten to bring it along to Hash and serious consideration is being given by Hierarchy to awarding it in perpetuity to Truckie…how fitting…perpetually useless!!!

Prick of the Week this week goes from Miscarriage to none other than…Iceman!!…yeah, down, down, down it goes!!!

Oh…and thanks Sir Rabbit for sharing some of that lovely red wine tonight!!

NEXT WEEK’S RUN IS AT 45 ALEX FISHER DRIVE, BURLEIGH GARDENS ESTATE AND WITH A 5.30 START.

On On

Fanny Charmer

On Sec

 This weeks run Pictures

 

Date: 14/9/2015

Location: Labrador

Hare: Botcho & Flasher

       Runners:28

“It’s all virgin territory guys, untouched by human feet…never mind that we’re here in Len Fox Park, that’s just to trick you into complacency!”…or words to that effect were uttered by our co-hares tonight, Flasher and Botcho…none of us believed it of course, but as soon as we headed south through the park and underneath the Lotus Creek Bridge, one hasher said “geez, we’ve never been here before!!….thank goodness it’s bloody low tide or we’d be swimming through this creed!!” ….so in fact we hadn’t been deceived….well, not that much! And thus started our adventure run through the wilds of Labrador…….….

The Run (and walk…yawn yawn!):

Yours truly did the run tonight, as did an inspiring number of others who sometimes do the walk…nice to have you trumpeting along with us Sir Rabbit! In saying that, Sir Rabbit managed to disappear half way through the run and it is believed that he actually went home for a quick ale before reappearing for the nosh! Others who were on the run also seemed to suddenly disappear from sight…must be a lot of shortcutting bastards because when your faithful scribe finished up, there were most of the runners already tucking into the booze and potato crisps!! I had stayed with Botcho virtually all the way and nobody overtook us…youse are all a pack of bloody cheatin’ bastards!!

The run was just on 7.00 km, or at least that’s what my Croatian mate Strava told me and he certainly can’t be wrong! The hares are to be congratulated on setting a run that for what is really well-trodden territory, nevertheless maintained our interest…including having two dogs chasing at the heels of our Grand Master…and I don’t mean our RA, I mean two little furry animals. Thankfully, with several of us yelling out “attack dogs! Attack dogs!” and Sir Rabbit sounding his horn, the GM managed to avoid injury!

Either by accident or on purpose, the run was also set out in such a way that we all managed to stay fairly close to each other, maybe something to do with the “international standard markings” and the five-way checks, of which there must have been at least fifteen! Despite this praise, no Flasher, no matter how much you hassle me on Facebook, I cannot agree that this was the run of the year!!

The walk was, according to several participants, a “good walk down to the tavern and back” and Rock Hard observed that “The Grand was very good!”. It seems that due to advancing age and the associated dementia that obviously goes with it, Shat and the Big-O had drinks in the public bar and Hard On had trouble finding them so had a drink in the private bar out the back.

The Nosh:

When we arrived back from the run, the sausages were sizzling on the electric council barbeques at a rate of….half the speed a snail would travel and Colonel Klink observed “the problem with these fuckin’ barbeques is that they’re not meant for 600 sausages!”.

Entrees consisted of chips and corn chips…a clue that this was going to be a “back to basics” nosh! The mains of sausages and chilli onions also did not disappoint on the B2B front and the best bit of it for those of us on the SRS (SlugRugShat) diet was the pleasure we all got from emptying out the cheese from the bread (white poison) rolls onto our plates stacked high with sausages and onion!! The definite upside of the meal was the upside-down “Australian trifle”…how on earth two refugees from the UK and NZ think they can create anything Australian is beyond me!! Whatever it can be described as, it was definitely good! Truckie’s view of the dessert… “I reckon it was pretty solid..you must have put a bag of sand and cement in it!!”.

The Circle:

The GM started the circle with one of his typically bad taste jokes…this was was the “isn’t that fantastic in lieu of who gives a fuck” one…yawn, yawn, heard it before!!! Can’t blame him for trying though (very bloody trying!!).

Botcho and Flasher were called out the front and praised for their virgin territory run over well-trodden territory and a warning was issued to all hashers that runs are not permitted from Len Fox Park!!

Brewtus,

as the only runner who did the whole run, was asked for his opinion…and denied being the first runner in… “I peaked early and Two Dogs and Bent Banana beat me in”.

 Next it was the RA’s turn out the front and he called Miscarriage out to introduce our two visitors… “I just thought I’d bring the average age of the Hash down a bit so I’d like to introduce me good mate Phil, also known as Splinter and me dad Ron, who you all know….Phil’s only 92 and me dad’s 85!!”.

 Next victims were Miscarriage (again), Sir Slab, Truckie and Caustic (in absentia)…well done in representing our Hash at the Kirra Triathlon..apparently Slab and Caustic blitzed the field on their bikes.

Truckie trod another well-worn path to centre stage….and guess what..yep! the silly dill forgot to bring the Useless shirt…he may as well be awarded in perpetuity if this keeps up!

Prick of the Week…you will all recall it was given to Arse-Up last week in order to compel attendance tonight…well, it didn’t work! He wasn’t here but he did appoint Bent Banana as his agent and it was duly awarded to none other than Miscarriage…for all his sundry misdemeanours!….another likely candidate for the award of POW in perpetuity I think.

The BIG-O was called out to centre stage as a returning runner…apparently he has been running amok (definition: behave uncontrollably/disruptively) in the Philippines…welcome back!!

Miscarriage made a feeble attempt at having a charge laid against Fullershit….Sir Rabbit was asked to adjudicate and deemed it a load of crap!

….and that good Sirs (and others) is your bloomin’ lot for another week!!

Next Week’s run will be from the park at Main Beach…100 metres down from the Southport Surf Club (in other words…Carefree’s usual spot!)…it will be worth coming….your trusty scribe is doing a curry for the mains!!

On On

Fanny Charmer

On-Sec

 This Week’s Run Pictures

 

Date: 7/9/2015

Location: Broadbeach

Hare: Ferrett

       Runners:32

 

Tonight we had another “city run”….thanks to it being Ferrett’s birthday bash….so here we were in the wilds of central Broadbeach, with a run and walk guaranteed to have lots of bush and shiggy!! Not so funny actually as you will read later on…..

The Run:

We were all gathered at the northern end of Kurrawa Park tonight and present also was Caustic Crusader, who informed me that he was actually here spying on behalf of the newly formed southern Hash, aka “The REAL Gourmet Hash”, taking notes on how NOT to run a hash! Indeed…the audacity of the man!! He further informed me that there were five blokes running the southern Hash tonight and that we had better lift our game as there were likely to be many more defectors if this hash keeps degenerating in its already pathetic standard!!…apparently “numbers are growing!”. An old adage comes to mind…never let the facts get in the way of a good story!

 I have been given some feedback that the words are too long at times…so….here goes….the run description…fuck knows, because I didn’t do it and I couldn’t be stuffed asking anybody what it was like and as I walked tonight, who gives a toss about the run anyway???

The walk was a splendiferous one indeed, and in fact it did have all the elements that one would not expect to find in a city walk…there was shiggy, thanks to the construction site at Jupiter’s Casino, there was bush, again thanks to Jupiters, who have lovely overgrown tropical gardens which we had to traverse as we exited the construction zone where we shouldn’t have been in the first place and the company of my fellow walkers was lively and entertaining. We took turns leading the walk and Weekly even took a turn as chief marshall of the walkers at one stage.

For a night done “solo” by Ferrett with no helpers, it was a good walk…the run?…..care factor?…zero!! But I must add the comment by Josephine….”it seems we only did this run last week!!” and somebody came up with the response..”why waste perfectly good arrows!!”

The Nosh:

For his birthday nosh Ferrett provided us with a feast, a veritable feast!! For a warm up there were FREE CROWNIES….when he found out about this, Hard On was heard to say..”fuck, you mean I just paid for the free beer??”

Entrée consisted of a giant bowl of dip….the thick bits were down the bottom, and the top was a bit, well…sloppy would describe it adequately. The corn chips were nice, but the carrot and celery slivers (for those of on the SRS diet) were much appreciated…and those mini Roma tomatoes were very sweet indeed.

Mains consisted of a quite mild beef vindaloo with dahl and rice. Dessert were three birthday cakes…Happy Birthday FERRETT!!!

 The Circle:

The GM has re-appeared!!!…and immediately brought the hare Ferrett out the front for birthday wishes and a well deserved down-down for a great nosh and a decent run and walk. All done with no help. Onya Ferrett!

Brewtus described the run as “a good street run and a great sprint down the beach!”.

The other birthday victims were hauled out the front…Fullershit and Jigsaw and they were interrogated as to their discourtesy in not providing free Crownies for their fellow Hashmen…and with Weekly observing “we’ll have Crownies until well into next year!”…assuming that the birthday lads actually get around to complying with traditional customs.

Our esteemed RA brought several hashers out the front in quick succession on several well justified charges, including VD for being brainless, errr…sorry…hat-less!, KB for coming to the hash solely with the intention of spying for the renegade southern Hash, and Lurch being dragged out the front just so he could stay awake during proceedings!

The Useless shirt went from Brewtus to…of course, you guessed it…yet again…TRUCKIE!!…and of course to make things worse for himself, he kept his hat on during the down-down and copped another one…how many times have you been dragged out the front Truckie?? You’d think he’d learn by now.

Prick of the Week went to Arse-Up this week. Why? So he attends next week!!

Notable by his absence yet again this week was Miscarriage and of course Sir Prince Valiant had yet another interesting tale to tell of yet another Miscarriage debacle…this time to do with screwing up some flight bookings! I’d hate to see what he does once dementia starts to set in if he is doing all this as a relatively young bloke with an allegedly sound mind!

The GM ended the circle with a reminder that the night of the 28^th September, being the knighting of several hashers, will be a REAL EXTRAVANZA…medieval attire will be compulsory, and it will be $20.00 for “the works”!!

Next week’s run…yawn, yawn….a BTB (that’s “back to basics”) run in yawn, yawn…Len Fox Park at Labrador.

On On

Fanny Charmer

On-Sec

This Week’s Run Pictures