Category Archives: Hash Run Reports

Run 1984

Date: 9/11/5015

Run: 1984

Location: Chirn Park

Hare: Sir Rabbit & Josephine

       Runners:20

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Firstly a bit thank-you to the stand in scribe for the last two weeks, Circumference, whom I believe also had to multi-task last week as scribe, hare and chief cook and bottle-washer. Thanks mate, you’ve done a sterling job during my absence in the Philippines!

And now down to business….tonight’s run, brought to you courtesy of the co-hares, Sir Rabbit and Josephine, started from the Rabbit Warren in Chirn Park and considering that a large number of our members are away in Burma on a motor-scooter ride or otherwise indisposed due to business or pleasure travel, the numbers tonight were quite impressive! Even Swollen Colon turned up tonight and when questioned as to why he was running out of his postcode, his response was “..shit!! I thought this was still 4217!!!”. Also good to see Arse-Up tonight and hopefully he will become a regular attendee also.

The run:

It’s always been said that Josephine always lays a mighty fine run and tonight did not disappoint, with a very diverse range of terrain in what can only be described as a built-up and central area of the Gold Coast. Jigsaw commented “…the council has done a wonderful job…great parks, nice paths…this makes for great running!”. Indeed it did make for great running and despite the assurance that the run was exactly 6.2 km, Two Dogs had it as 7.4 and Jigsaw at 8.00km. There were false trails and an innumerable number of checks on the trail, with Josephine acting as live hare to keep us all on track, which we largely did. It was to be noted that not that many of us actually did the entire run, with many experienced hands deciding to shortcut for various reasons. Missing Link had a good excuse, nursing an injury from his quite serious fall off a bike in the Philippines.

The Nosh:

 Briefly, the nosh was as it should be…simple and tasty…with Sir Rabbit starting us off with two large platters of guacamole dip and corn chips…bloody lovely and it was good to see everyone “scooping in” heartily. Some of the newer runners who had never been to the Rabbit Warren were wandering around in amazement at the array of “collectibles” in the said man-cave!

Mains was copious amounts of Bolognese mince with lettuce and onion for scooping into little burrito platters…a novel yet simple idea that went down a treat! Well done Sir Rabbit!! Dessert consisted of various delicacies of the pastry variety, with the option of ice-cream, cream or custard to wash them down.

Now, to bring back an old tradition….the nosh was rated as 8 ½ out of 10!!

The entertainment:

I have decided to put in this category in my report as it really was a highlight tonight…the entertainment throughout the night was the playing of old videos of long past hash events, including an inter-hash in the 1990’s here on the coast. We all laughed at the sight of some of our brethren back then…it is obvious that Hashing keeps you young!! I would call it the halcyon days of Hashing from the fun that everyone was having back then…most entertaining to watch and again, you are to be congratulated Sir Rabbit for thinking of this.

The Circle:

A quite sedate affair was tonight’s circle as some of the usual culprits (did someone say Flasher???) were absent tonight.

First out the front for a down-down tonight were yours truly and Missing Link as the sole representatives of the wandering cyclists to be back at Hash tonight. Much as he tried, the RA/acting Grand-Master was not successful in extracting information out of either of us regarding the trip…you know the score woof-woof (x2), what happens on tour stays on tour!!

Next out the front for their dose of embarrassment were Nasty and Latrine for the relatively minor misdemeanour of no hats on in circle…nice to see Mme Latrine as a regular attendee both at Hash and the premier cycling troupe, the Warriors.

Swollen Colon was next out the front for a well-deserved down-down for inadvertently attending a run that is NOT in postcode 4217! Whilst on the subject of Swollen Colon, he decided that he would pass on the Prick of the Week award to whomever lost in a game of “spin the bottle” and it ended up being Mme Latrine….oh no…not more alcohol for Mme Latrine… “take me drunk, I’m home!!”.

Out the front came Missing Link for a down-down for having a “quiet night” in Kalibo!! Enough said..well deserved sir!!

A further down-down was given to Mr Lee, Miscarriage’s house-guest from Cambodia…is this man ever going to get to drink out of his new shoes or what???

And on that note…..end of circle!!

Next Week’s run – hare is Swollen Colon – starting from the Velodrome at Nerang and into the forest – we are guaranteed that it will be run of the year!! But wait….Nerang is 4211 not 4217…what’s going on here????

 And for a finale from Swollen Colon….Sir Rabbit has been incessantly complaining about the bats in his trees…well…Swollen Colon certainly put a rocket right up ‘em…literally!!!! This pyromaniac never ceases to amaze!!

 Fanny Charmer

On Sec.

 

This weeks Pictures

 

Run 1983

Date: 2/11/5015

Run: 1983

Location: Bundall

Hare: Circumference

       Runners:20

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The pack gathered behind the GCCC at Evandale where although billion dollars of development is planned. someone still can’t change a light bulb.
Best plans often come unstuck but you don’t know until you go there. So Plan A was to get the walkers away early and hopefully get them back in good time so the nosh would still be warm. The runners took their final instructions and headed off towards Gold Coast racing headquarters. In an unpredictable turn of events, the trail went the opposite direction to normal and some hashers found themselves wandering around the Harvey Norman car park. However they were still keeping in with the racing theme as Mr Harvey only owns about a thousand of the thoroughbreds. Blackie was first home by several lengths. Two Dogs reported that several hashers hit the wall after the run went past the 3200 metre mark and struggled home.
Pre dinner nibbles and cold drinks revived the thirsty runners while we waited and waited for the walkers to finally dribble in one by one from their watering hole. Anyhow finally the now cold chicken burgers and salads were served under torchlight due to some pretty ordinary lack of lighting maintenance. Those still needing food lined up for servings of sweets consisting of of leftover Sir Rabbit donated cakes, strawberries and ice cream.
A well lit area was found near the BBQ’s and our visiting GM, Rug, returning after a 6 week absence commenced the circle. Even our official RA, referred to Rug as the RA by mistake. Circumference was called out as the hare and the GM got critique on the nosh by well known social commentator, Blue Card. His suggestion to Circumference was that he needs to get himself a woman so that the standard of the nosh for his consumption would improve. Circumference in quick response shot back at Blue Card, who has obviously been off the dating scene for awhile, stated that some of today’s modern career women are not much chop in the kitchen or for that matter the bedroom. To even think that some women would want to cook for hashers these days is just wishful thinking and a bonus for those with partners that actually do !
Caustic called out Fuller Shit for some Border Patrol incident but what was even more interesting was an alcohol induced Dr Phil show type confession Fuller Shit had made on a tour about his early love life. Apparently his confession included marrying young, then after it went Arse Up(using another returning runner’s name), he went off the rails a bit sowing some wild oats on the way. Most hashers could identify with this account although most of them had been on the normal reverse way of playing up before actually settling down. And others well , they are still in denile elsewhere.
Aussie Botcho got a down down after his former country’s win in the RWC.
Show Pony was mentioned as he in GCUH with health issues and we all wish him a speedy recovery.
The wheeling and dealing of the attempts by M’Latrine to try and close a real estate deal over a few glasses of red during lunch while telephoning a real estate agent, banks. lawyers were included in the review of the October splinter lunch at Cavs Steakhouse.
A hastily organised Melbourne Cup sweep with hashers pulling their own horse out of a hat took place . As most quickly dispersed after Josephine closed the circle, just a reminder to keep your ticket if you want to prove you are a winner. Flasher by his own admission of going on holidays to a third world country was concerned that he wouldn’t know who won the race. Maybe a Trip to Paris would have been a better tip sorry trip !

On On
Circumference

Run 1982

 

Date: 26/10/5015

Run: 1982

Location: Emerald Lakes, Carrara

Hare: VD & Bent Banana (Halloween theme)

       Runners:22

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Under a full moon the pack headed off in a westerly direction towards the Psuedo-Franco Mediterranean art deco inspired residential monstrosity. The trail went past the now relocated statue of David who has moved on from his heyday in Surfers where many a girl admired his features.

With the well marked trail going up and down stairs and around boardwalks, the pack got a real insight into living in a castle surrounded by a moat. Bent Banana in his sweeping role ensured that the walkers and runners went their separate ways during the course of the run. After about 40 minutes the pack returned from an easterly direction after the tour of the complex.
Cold refreshments then took priority including the leftover beer dregs in cans from Octoberfest. No wonder they were leftover, the gold top cans were no where near as good the silver top cans and even beer connoisseur Josephine struggled so much in finishing his can, that he traded his in on a Tooheys while in mid-stream.
As VD had the nosh cooking during the run , it wasn’t long until all were devouring rissoles. vegetables and fresh bread. Then followed dessert which included a compote of blueberries, marshmallows and ice-cream. Miscarriage also supplied some fresh new season Qld pineapple slices.
By the time acting GM, Sir Rabbit, called the circle , most hashers had adorned their ghoulish Halloween themed clobber. Miscarriage was invited to speak on the run. His response was – we went out, around, followed the trail around and around, it was good. Iceman was invited to speak on the nosh. His response was – steak tartare(no egg on top). He then claimed his rissoles were not cooked and looked orange in colour inside. Suddenly VD interrupted with a – you blind vagina (or somewhat similar wording) , they included carrot. Although opinions were divided on the meat, as Iceman thoroughly enjoyed the dessert, the My Kitchen Rules Chief judge and contestant called it a truce.
Sir R announced that the Hash Useless Award would be withdrawn from the GCH3 commencing immediately. Ferrett offered to keep it in his Hash Museum of Memorabila.
The RA entertained the circle with Down Downs going to Flasher ( allegedly farcupping the run ), Blackie (returning world champion triathlete now heading to the paddock for a spell),and Mr Lee for his high vis new shoes. It was reported that Botcho is having 50 cents each way on the outcome of the RWC final when the West Island plays a combined North/South Islands team in the Cross the Ditch Cup.
Iceman had a crack at a joke about sex and tonsillitis which failed to titillate so he also got a down down for his trouble.
There was no Prick of the Week as the current holder Swollen Colon does not leave his post code for hashing, so until we next visit Main Beach, or it comes back in the mail,
there will be a void in the circle for awhile.
In the absence of Moonbeams, we had take one of closing the circle by Ferrett, followed up by take two by Josephine.

 

This Weeks Pictures

On On
Circumference

Run 1981

Date: 19/10/5015

Run: 1981

Location: Main Beach

Hare: Hierarchy

       Runners:29

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Vroom…Vroom…the V8 Supercars run…the Indy Challenge…the Sir 2 Dogs handicapping extravanza…call it what you will, but it was always going to be an explosive event, particularly as it was in the 4217 postcode, which could only mean one thing….Swollen Colon was gracing us with his presence and his pyrotechnics!!

…and of course, being a V8 event, what did the down-downs consist of….yep, bloody V8 vegetable juice!!!….blah!!!!!!!!!!!…thank goodness your trusty scribe was not called out the front for anything tonight!

The run:

My description of the run is based entirely on hearsay…as I did not do it, having stayed back to assist with the nosh debacle…where the F### did all the cooking utensils and other shit that lived in the trailer get to???? The run apparently was predictable but enjoyable, with the added twist this year of security personnel on the track telling the runners to get the F### off the track! The early arrivals back at base camp obviously cheated, having not conformed with their expected handicaps. Cheating bastards!! No names though…don’t want to offend any sensitivities. In all, Sir 2 Dogs, you’ve excelled yourself with a good run on the track…it’s become a yearly tradition so while the race is on the coast, let’s just keep bloody doing it!!

The walkers track…yawn, yawn…who cares about the walkers anyway..yawn, yawn!!

The Nosh:

 Probably the best thing to do in terms of describing the nosh is to quote directly from some of the bon-vivants present tonight…

Circumference – “I won’t have too many saveloids…I don’t want to spoil the fine filet that is coming for mains!”

 Josephine – “Ahhh…just like the good old days…

 Swindler – “ohhhhh….it just doesn’t get any better than this!!!”

 Swollen Colon – “definitely nosh of the year!!…but I’ve only been to two of them!!”

 Ferrett – “what’s that green shit in that bowl??” (to which the answer “after-birth” came from some disgusting degenerate).

 Briefly, the entrée was saveloids (known also as Weenies or Little Boys in parts of the country” with dipping sauces and the mains was expertly barbequed steaks with lashings of side salads, dips, high quality wholemeal bread (not of that white shit!) and various other delicacies…topped off with two superb Woolies chocolate cakes…yes, definitely back to basics under this hierarchy but those of you doubting Thomas’s please again refer to the comments above from various experienced Hashers!!

I do believe that thanks must go to Sir Rabbit and Sir Two Dogs for the nosh, but if I am wrong on this, I do apologise.

Basically, a corker of a meal….and to use those words familiar to many of you…..this is what we came here for!!!!!!!!

The Circle:

This is starting to get a bit tedious, isn’t it…yet again, out the front were the usual suspects….Flasher and IceMan…for the life of me I cannot recall why, but there must obviously have been a good reason. A V8 down-down for these two….oh, and IceMan, I think you’d better get yourself a new joke book mate…the current one from whence you draw your material is shit!!

Swollen Colon was the first runner in tonight, but as described above, must have been one of the cheating ones as he was handicapped out! Bad luck!!

Sir Slab was declared the real winner tonight…being awarded all sorts of crap like a cap, a trophy and a shirt..he seemed really impressed with all of this stuff!

First walker home…Rock Hard…who took his V8 down-down and then exclaimed “what the shit is that???”….probably should have said “what is in that shit??”!

Swindler and Shat were called out the front for causing a crash on the Warriors ride that morning, resulting in poor old Kwakka ending up on the ground with a buggered elbow….guys…all Warriors know that you turn right to go past and perve on the exercising chicky babes…you do NOT go straight ahead!!!

Visitors from Cambodia Mr Ly and Mr Hun Phy, Miscarriage’s contacts from Sihanoukville were dragged out the front and welcomed…Mr Ly was spared the humiliation of taking a down-down from his brand new running shoes!

Swollen Colon was dragged out as a returning runner…this is what happens when you only run in your own postcode!….but to ensure that he actually comes back soon, he was also awarded the Prick of the Week…good call there IceMan!!

Flasher then came out and tried to present the USELESS shirt to Jigsaw on the pretext of not taking sufficient photos in Circle!!! Jigsaw was able to provide proof that he had in fact taken sufficient photos and thus Flasher had to quickly rethink his strategy and promptly passed the shirt on to Sir Rabbit for no particular reason…you didn’t deserve that Sir Rabbit, you really didn’t!!

Sir Prince Valiant was called out for having his snout in the trough and despite being one of the more well-to-do Hashers, bludging off the taxpayer by attending a swanky publicly funded princeevent.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bent Banana graciously accepted a $100 donation from the Hash Heirarchy for the sponsorship of a young girl in Cambodia….do we get a tax receipt for that one BB??

As a finale, Swollen Colon, with his usual pyrotechnic flair, proceeded to attempt the destruction of a traffic cone…it went off like Mt Vesuvius!!

Finally, a big thank you to Circumference for agreeing to do the words for the next few weeks as yours truly is off to the Philippines..enjoy Halloween guys!!

Fanny Charmer

On Sec.

This weeks Pictures

 

 

 

Run 1980

Date: 12/10/5015

Run: 1980

Location: Varsity Lakes

Hare: Hierarchy

       Runners:28

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Run 1980

Tonight was billed as the night where, for the paltry sum of just $20.00, you could drink as much beer and eat as much food as you wanted!! On that basis, we, your faithful hierarchy, were expecting a decent number of Hashers to turn up for an offer like this…but no, for some reason numbers were down to 28 tonight…inexplicable really, considering the quality of the run, the venue, the beer and the food! …and we bloody paid for 35 of you to turn up and swill yourselves into oblivion!!! Sure, the food was “back to basics”,hash basics_2 but you will all recall that as we were not going to compete with the outgoing hierarchy, this year was going to be about getting back to the basics of hashing…and how much more basic can you get than all the beer you can drink???

Oh well, c’est la vie, as they say…..those of you who weren’t there all missed out on a convivial night where those who did turn up were treated to a decent run through virgin bush, shiggy and with a fair smattering of hills and then a night of good beer, sausages, party pies and sausage rolls and a lovely cheese platter, all with background music provided by Sir Rabbit. Was it the lack of a serving wench that kept you all away……I wonder??….geez, I am sure that myself and the rest of the hierarchy present on the night would have stripped down to our underdaks if it is about there not being enough exposed flesh about!!!!!

The theme being Oktoberfest, we were asked to dress with a German theme and a special thankyou to those of you who went the extra mile to dress accordingly, particularly Jigsaw, Missing Link and Sir Rabbit, all of whom looked like they’d just been plucked out of a Bavarian village!…and to Caustic and KB, who looked like Gestapo officers….oh, and of course, who can forget Truckie’s “Harry High Pants” outfit…a classic mate, a true classic!!

The run

The run, was, according to Flasher, exactly 4.8km, including all the checks that he did…Missing Link and I didn’t measure it when we set it so thanks Flasher for that information. The run took in shaggy and a decent amount of bush and considering we were on the eastern side of the M1, that’s not too bad. Sir Botcho described the run as “excellent..these boys have really done a good job with this one!” Several of us suffered scratches from encounters with the scenery on the run, but the worst was Weekly, whose legs looked like they had been through a shredding machine! Caustic was heard to say “geez, you look like you’re on the rags!!”.

The Nosh:

Guy, the owner of Aardvark and Arrow brewery had two kegs on for us, a Lowenbrau style and a Pilsener style and the taps were open as soon as we got to the brewery…allegedly some attendees were heard to say “oh fuck it…let’s just stay here and drink!!”…and why not when there was no limit!!

Nibbles when we got back from the run was bowls of chips and then out came a huge platter of various cheeses, crackers, tomatoes and grapes on steroids. Out also came several plates of party pies and sausage rolls and then the mains of unlimited sausages and rolls came out, with the option of several mustards, sauces and of course, being Oktoberfest, Saukraut and onions. Again, sure, it’s fairly basic but we all thought it was great!

The Circle:

First victim out the front…as per usual it would seem…was Truckie, to be commended for doing the whole run and also for his “Harry High Pants” outfit. Weekly also came out the front to be laughed at for the various wounds on his legs…”my missus is going to be impressed with this….she’ll want to plaster me with fucking band-aids!!

Next out the front were three of the four accused in the “Croc Abandonment” , also known as the Gang of Four No Man Left Behind trial that is coming up soon….the three present tonight were Sir Two Dogs, Circumference and Sir Rabbit, with one accused being indicted in absentia (Josephine). The three present have been granted bail on their own recognisance pending the upcoming trial. If he does not turn up for next week’s Hash to be indicted for his crimes, Josephine will find himself on the receiving end of a bench warrant for his arrest that will be vigorously sought by counsel for the prosecution (me!).

Miscarriage was called out the front for elder abuse of his second father and also for dressing as an Arab when it was supposed to be a German night….. “this is fucking German…have youse been to Berlin lately??”…fair call I guess.

String Bean from Sydney Larrikins Hash was out the front, welcomed as a visitor and also to tell a funny yarn about his adventures driving up from Sydney with his mate Truckie…..oh, and there was also an accusation of Truckie putting some shonky tow hitch on the Hash Trailer and nearly causing it to come off Sir Slab’s towbar and get wrecked a second time.

Welcome also to Miscarriage’s nephew Blake…pleasssseee join the Hash and bring our average age down a bit!!!!

Iceman and Flasher came out the front for something to do with the Prick of the Week and Useless award, but I was too busy pulling another beer to really follow what was going on.

That’s about it for tonight I think….too much beer on board to take too many notes!!!

Fanny Charmer

On Sc

 This Weeks Run Pictures