Author Archives: Botcho

Run 2127…Slug

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Date: 6 th August  2018………………………….
Location: Miami …………………………………….
Runners: 36………………………………………………
Run Pictures………………………………………….

Right on cue, down came the rain as hashers drove to the Miami venue. While every hasher knows how important rain is at the moment, its just not needed between 5 pm and 7:30 pm on Monday nights. Much to the hare’s relief, it was just a shower in the vicinity of the trail or as one bushie described light rain on television as just angels pissing in the clouds. As usual the hare gave instructions on what the arrows/paper would look like on trail which never ceases to amaze all when really its the same shit every Monday night, year in /year out. The trail went north and then west in the vicinity of the beach and then the GC highway.
The arrows were well marked but as Ball Bag noted , not a bloody check in sight all night. Near Miami SHS, some found the trail over the GC highway while others didn’t. Sir Blackie remarked what a black night it was and decided to head home before he possibly took a fall.
It wasn’t long until all hashers were back and had a beverage in their hands and found some nibbles which were well hidden on the BBQ’s by the darkness. This was the start of a 3x1x3 menu provided by the hare. There were 3 dips , 1 pasta dish and 3 cakes to choose from. KB assisted with portion control after Sir Ferret had organised the conga line of hungry hashers banging on the plates for a feed.  Swollen Colon reckoned he missed out on the rice which he had seen but was assured no one had rice with their pasta.
With the carbo loading complete, the GM called the circle and first out were the returning runners and visitors. Up stepped KB, Sir Blackie. Hot Dick and Bruce. The latter didn’t blink an eyelid even after the hash pyromaniac had exploded a banger in the vicinity of his clacker. Slug as the hare received a down down and a good run report from Two Dogs, one of the few hashers that found the whole trail. All agreed the nosh was good.  In the absence of the current POW, it will be carried over by Poxy currently in FNQ.
RA Sweathog stepped up to the plate and reminded us of his fundraising rally for prostrate cancer. Ball Point also reminded us of his fund raising night for the Broadbeach School tuckshop which might be a good hash nosh venue down the track. The GM made donations to both.
Sir Ferret gave a report on the Lightning Ridge hash relay where all teams were declared dead heat joint winners. As we all know if you go touring west of the Great Divide in this country, shit can happen. Sir Ferret told that Croc had 3 experiences in his new camper loosing a bedroom window, a collapsing bike rack and wrecked electric bike after leaving the weekend relay event. Prior to that there was another minor scrape to his camper while reversing in a caravan park.
Random minor explosions from the pyromaniac and constant farting from some hasher with foul bowels were becoming a major distraction to the GM. Then the constant chatter from hashers showing no respect caused the GM to announce that he had no choice but to bring water torture back to the circle. So we have been warned, icings may be coming during future circles. Aussie was a given a yellow card and down down as an example for circle disruption.
Brewtus and Slug captured a few of these hashers in photos as they did their deeds of distraction.
Ball Bags had a crack at a few jokes which resulted in a chorus begging for the return of Iceman.
Next weeks run is the investiture of Josephine as a Knight of the hash realm. He will even have a jog before receiving his title. Hopefully Elvis will be back from the USSR to perform as the hare for the evening. No prises for guessing what will be on the nosh menu.
In a sign of solidarity, the GM announced it was a group closure to the circle. As the chorus of End of Circle rang out, there was a sigh of relief from the guests in the cabin nearest the car park who had paid top dollar for a peaceful evening listening to the gentle waves from their balcony but had to put up with constant explosions and noise from the circle.
A hasher who had consumed cheap red coloured cans of XXXX heavy beer during the evening was observed driving home north in his similar coloured car for several hundred metres in the middle of the road above the white line, maybe thinking he was still on trail. Thankfully he finally came to his senses or his passengers alerted him before the vehicle came to the attention of other road users including the local boys in blue randomly on patrol. The dash cam footage would be interesting viewing if you were coming from the opposite direction.
ON ON
CIRCUMFERENCE(on secondment for a couple of weeks from AAP ROOTERS)

Run 2126…Ball Point & Sweat Hog

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Date: 30th July  2018……………………………….
Location: Nerang ………………………………..
Runners: 28…………………………………………..
Run Pictures………………………………………….

Ball Point was the hare for this evenings run. He demonstrated by using flower to indicate the run markings.

The returning runners thought that it was well marked. This run was in very dark woods and required a good torch to get around.

Truckie returned in good time with the others. We all noticed he shot off to do another circuit of the run. Did he really enjoy the first time around to do another?

We soon realized that he thought he had lost his mobile phone on the trail, and off be went to locate it. After some runner dialing his number, the phone rang in Sweat Hog’s 4×4. Bingo. Phone found.

Circumference and Ball Point returned last as they took the long way around. The runners said they should be charged extra for the longer run they completed.

 

8:20 PM.     Our GM Weekly dressed as Winston Churchill opened the circle. He congratulated all runners in returning in such a strange and dark area.

 

Visitors and returning runners.    Swollen Colon, Woodsie, Brendon, and Fox Trot Oscar. These runners were given a note and a down down.

The GM brings the hare, Ballpoint into the circle. The GM had good reason to believe that ballpoint had actually hijacked his cigar. This was denied. Did MI 5 get it wrong?

 

Run Report.  Carefree commented on the run report. A lot of difficulty had to be endured in this virgin country. There was plenty of tree roots on the trail and he was rooted when he finished the run. After all he did complete at least 10 meters of the run. He added that these runs were fantastic, but this run should be started at 5 PM, so all can enjoy the bush while it was light enough to do so.

Ball Point and Sweat Hog were called into the circle and a down down was awarded to them.

Ball Bag commented further on the run. It was difficult to keep up with the runners, as they were unable to overtake others on the path, as it was to narrow from the growth of vegetation.

 

Prick of the Week.   Sir Prince off loaded this POW trophy. There were two nominations for this trophy. First nomination was Truckie, for losing his mobile phone.  Second nomination was Proxy. He was the last person to leave the recent Splinter lunch in an inebriated way.  A well deserved down down were given to these fellows.

 

Nosh report.  A big hot pot of beef and bean stew was served with fully cooked non-burnt rice to the hungry runners. Hot apple pies and custard followed later.

 

The RA report.     There is plan for a car rally and all will be receiving an email about this car rally.  It will be in South Australia and some parts into the Simpson Desert. It may be possible to visit Broken Hill as well.

Truckie and Fuller Shit were tasked with bringing the trailer to the run tonight. There was some misunderstanding about this.  There was no water pump working to refill the water tank among other little concerns.  With good reason they were given a down down by Circumference.

There was a joke about a guy who was sick down his shirt.  To explain this to the wife, he put $20 in the shirt pocket saying an intoxicated man was sick on him, and donated $20 for the inconvenience. The wife found $40. She was further advised that this extra $20 was for the shit in his shorts. Fanny Charmer took a down down and it was mentioned he was in the running for next years GM.

The GM reminds runners of the bike ride/ walk on the 19th of August at 9.30 AM. This will commence at the Southport Council Chambers. Now this should be fun.!

 

Next week’s run.   At the moment it is unknown as the hare is not present.

The next Splinter lunch will be August 24th.  To be held at Goa Indian Fusion Restaurant on Teddler Avenue, Maim Beach.

 

Charge from the floor.    Fuller Shit was called into the circle by Ball Point. He informed us that he telephoned Fuller Shit about towing the trailer. Fuller Shit advised that he thought that tonight’s run was unsafe, dark and did not want to get lost in the dark bush. What a whimp.!

Ballpoint further informs that he is organizing a fun night. This will be a trivia night on a Friday with plenty of nosh and piss. All are invited.

Ice Man told a good joke that had most reeling in laughter.

 

Quote of the week by Winston Churchill.

 

“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty”

 

The GM calls Fanny Charmer and Missing Link into the circle. Two weeks ago they tried to slip away early.  For their misadventure, they were tasked to close the circle.

 

8.55pm.  Circle closed.

 

ON ON.

Run 2125…Fuller Shit

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Date: 23rd July  2018……………………………….
Location: Ashmore ………………………………..
Runners: 32…………………………………………..
Run Pictures………………………………………….

The start of the walk started by walking on the road back and forth to find the magic arrows. First it was this way, second it was that way. Eventually the arrows were found and the run commenced.

We all returned to the shed /factory and shop premises belonging to Fuller Shit. It was very interesting looking around at all the bits and pieces he had there.

GM Weekly handed out the named envelopes containing the  “On On” decal stickers. They should look good and stick  to vehicles of members or where they like to stick them. (Now be careful)

This night was Sir Arse Hole’s birthday. The thirsty runners gladly accepted his gifted slabs of birthday beer.

There was a delicious aroma from the fried beef and chicken strips on the BBQ for tonight’s hot meal. The buttered bread rolls both could contain chicken, one end, and the other end beef strips. Various salads and sauces could also be placed on top, producing a much filling meal. Ice cream, custard and diced fruit salad completed the meal course.

 

  1. 15 p.m. Circle was opened by GM Weekly. Winston Churchill had arrived back and in his full attire. The War Office advises that the cigar was kidnapped by Ball Point. He is going to be so be very blunt once Ball Point returns.

Returning visitors and runners.    Ball Bags, Arse Up, and Magician were down downed.

Run Report.     This was given by Iceman. He told a joke about going to a pharmacy with a urine sample to test if it was sweet for its sugar content.

Arse Nic, Fuller Shit, Brutus, Two Dogs and Blackie were called into the circle for a down down.  Blackie was getting all the check runs right on his left side, but he missed a few on his right side. The run and the walk were considered to be tolerable. Miscarriage did well in the walk with his braced leg.

The GM did not have too much to say about the run, but he mentioned he remembered the two deserters from last week, who sneaked away early.

Arse Nic’s wife asked how did he get his name. He replied that she should phone Ball Point and ask him.  When she phoned Ball Point he told her, he was asked by Arse Nic to phone her about that.

The GM mentioned how a wife named a first person in the hash group. This was Bent Banana and her name was Banana Bender. Very clever side to things.

Slab mentions the relay race at Lightning Ridge. The Gold Coast has a team of 12 participants. They will participate in swimming, running, drinking and riding, getting lost or any other activities.

Nosh report.     Our birthday boy Sir Arse Hole gave this report. He was very pleased about the food and said it was a great meal. A Birthday down down was given to this man.

Prick of the Week.   Miscarriage had to hand the trophy back. It was a bit of a difficult task, as he couldn’t select a runner who deserved it. (There was no one else) A photograph of the 1986 runners was shown in the circle. One of the members was Slab, a very young person at that time. A joke was told about an inheritance paid to a person of $10,000. But this was a mistake. It was for one dollar as the decimal point was a mistakenly placed in the wrong position.

Sir Prince Valliant mentions how a certain hash member; Named Miscarriage received some money from him for a loan. After depositing a large sum of money into Miscarriage’s bank account, it was advised that there was a mistake in the account number. Trying to rectify this problem was difficult. Having to renegotiate with the banks to change the account number.  A down down was given to Sir Prince Valliant.

 

Magician entered into the circle with a charge. A gentleman bought a brand-new car and did not know how to lock the door. That certain gentleman had to take his car back to the dealers to solve the problem. This gentleman was Shat.

Next week’s run.    This will probably be at the Pony Club as Ball Point is the hare.

The GM reminds hash runners about the Southport walk and bike ride organised by the City Council on 19th August 2018. Also, about Christmas in July lunch this Friday 27th at Costa D’oro. Please register your attendances on line as large numbers are expected.

 

Quote of the night.  Winston Churchill.    “A good speech should be like a woman’s skirt; long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest.”

 

8.50pm.   Ferret closed the circle.

Run 2124…Kwakka

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Date: 16th July  2018……………………………….
Location: Chevron Island …………………………
Runners: 36…………………………………………..
Run Pictures………………………………………….

On our approach to the park it was delightful to see that tables were already in place with chairs.  Some one had arrived early and sorted out the seating.

The returning runners found it difficult to find and follow all the arrows on the pavements. Did they not know this was a French theme run, and the French chalk arrows are easily eradicated by Croatians pedestrains from the recent soccer final?

The kitchen bitch on this cool evening was Kwakka. He was supported by his Italian wife Salvana and Carroll. What a team.  The hot sausage rolls with sweet chilli sauce did a magic trick; it disappeared as soon as it hit the tables. The lasagna was superb and very tasty.  Compliments to the cook.

Ball Point could not stay away and turned up late so not to miss the good nosh.

 

Circled opened at 8.10pm.

Our great GM Weekly was dressed up like Napoleon. Was that a real sabre he was wearing? It was French Bastille night. (July 14th 1789)

Thee Winston Churchill is not with us to night.. He is suffering from a hang over as Britton missed out on the World Soccer Cup final

 

Run Report.   The hare was called into the circle and Ice Man was “bemused” about the run. The run had various arrows and some were well hidden. A runner from the peripheral wanted to know who marked the un- seen arrows.

A hare is required to replace Sweat Hogs’ for Caustics run on 30th August 2018.

 

Nose Report.   All agreed with Botcho that it was a magnificent lasagna, salad and garlic rolls. The meal was followed up with ice cream and chocolate mousse. Cold French ales supplied by the booze master. A well deserved down down for the cooks.

cook

 

An enquiry was made about Bren Gun’s lack of presence.  Looks like his mates missed him.

RA Hal Al directed a charge to Excel Pet.  This runner is like the Long Lasting Duracell battery. He just kept on running after he was advised to stop at the last arrow.

A down down were given to Excel Pet and Ferrett as he abandoned his new black nightie awarded to him last week.  Another down down to Ball Point and Kwakka as it was believed they were pro Croatians supporters.

Then came another down down for Blackie for doing well in racing his sports/racing car against others on the track. It is said that he keeps one eye open for that opening position to be ahead of other competitors.

The GM was pleased about his sponsored clipboard presented by AH Painters. Now he can keep his papers in order. He asks all of us to think about a name to be given to our new runner Nick. Ball Point mentions he had introduced Nick to this iniquitous group.

Nick for most of his life has been known as TITS.  New hash names were flying about everywhere and one name was settled on.

Nick was now knighted by the GM as ARSE NIC. A down down was in order for this new members name.

The run was about to close and Fanny Charmer and Missing Link thought they could sneak away early into the darkness of the cold night. No such luck. They were down downed for this. (May be they should receive the black nightie)

The GM gave the quote of the week by Alexandra Dumas  (Author of The Three Musketeers book).  “The great question, which I have not been able to answer, what does a woman want?”

Next weeks run.  20 Expo Court, Ashmore.

 

Circled was closed at 8.45pm.

Until next week.

 

On On Sec.

Run 2123…VD

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Date: 9th July  2018……………………………….
Location: Mudgeeraba …………………………
Runners: 35…………………………………………..
Run Pictures………………………………………….

This night was quite chilly, plenty of parking but with virtually no street lighting.

 

The run was on paved areas around the park. In the dark park a torch was necessary to complete this run.

 

It was heard that Bent Banana was advised not to follow Blackie, as he gets lost.

 

Sir Slab took the easy way out by riding his bicycle around the run. We didn’t notice any bike lights so he must have good night vision.

 

On the runners return, the tables were set up and the un-lit area was now ablaze with two strings of LED lights.  This blazed away like a runaway landing zone. Truckie made light work of this set up.

 

The kitchen bitch was Bent Banana, and he was bent over the gas BBQ box hanging out of the trailer. Appetizing aroma of the evening meal was penetrating the cold evening.

 

S-Bends our booze master, advises all the runners, now in their winter gear, that it is Now Loved Birthday this evening.

 

We were concerned that one of our runners, Ball Bag had not returned. Maybe he forgot to turn his torch on to find his way back in the dark.

 

We all missed our welcome hot soup on this cold night from previous weeks.

 

GM Weekly opened the circle at 8.10pm.

 

He advised the circle that there would be no Winston Churchill present here tonight, as he is over in England attending the Grand Soccer game.  Never to mention that there was no cigar to chew on. It is said that he is visiting the War Office about the cigar disappearance.

 

Returning runners.     This was Sir Ferrett and the Kitchen Bitch.

 

VD our hare of tonight’s run was in the circle.  Truckie gave the note for the down down.

 

Ice Man was encouraged into the circle and he told a joke about the Kiwis shopping at Surfers Paradise. They went into the shop and they said they were looking at all the clothes. The shop assistant advised they were in a Dry Cleaning Shop.

 

Run report.     This was a well marked, chalk arrows could be clearly seen in the darkest of the nights with a torch. There were good check back marks on the route.

 

Something did go wrong with a check- back marking.  It went the wrong way around when viewed from the top.

 

Our GM, only on this occasion complements Ice Man on his view of the run. Fuller Shit mentions how Bent Banana had the easy task of cycling around the run route.

A down down was ordered to the hare on the run report.

 

The GM Weekly presented Sir Ferrett with a sexy black nightie, as all runners thought he was an old woman and deserved this special gift.  He likes to be home in time and watch his favorite TV show.  To night he will be rushing home to try his new black nightie on.  A down down followed the presentation.

 

GM called on Fanny Charmer to give the Nosh Report.

 

Fanny Charmer inquired how come only a few received the BBQ steaks. He was joking, he probably mistook the BBQ patties for steaks. He has to take off his reading glasses to see properly.

 

The BBQ hamburgers went down very well with the cold and hungry runners.

 

The desserts were good and some even went for seconds.

 

Our RA was Sweat Hog. He was instructed to enter the circle. And a Happy Birthday was sung for Now Loved.

 

Miscarriage advises that this night is also a 700th run occasion.

 

An historic run report was read out to all about a run during that time. This bought out old memories for some of the older runners.

 

A poem was also read out, and appropriately named “Hash Mans lament”. This was eloquently read out by Phantom.

 

The GM presented a blue cap for the 700 half runs achievements.  A down down followed for Sir Prince Valiant.

 

The RA called Fuller Shit and Ball Bag into the circle, as Fuller Shit left his mate behind and he failed to honour the order of conduct, where a person never leaves a mate behind.

 

Ball Bag returned late, as his torch was not working or forgot to put it on and got lost. Ball Bag had to knock on a residence door to view an Ipad to see where he was.  Fuller shit had left him behind.  A common saying,   “he was left in the dark.”

Well deserved down down was in order for this lost mate.

He did tell a few good jokes in the circle with much laughter from runners.

 

The RA instructed the hare back into the circle. He advised the runners that when he questioned where the run went to and the direction it took, the hare forgot where he had marked the run.

The RA requested Sir Slab to perform a down down for picking on Fanny Charmer.  Telling him not to forget the food report amongst other things. However he was already prepared.

 

Josephine told a joke in the circle concerning the size of people’s feet. He called on Miscarriage to enter the circle.  Attention was drawn to the size of Miscarriage’s boots. Maybe this man was Big Foot in disguise and even the cow that kicked him made this mistake.

 

The GM mentions that our new member Nick required a hash name. Titly was his family name. There was a combination of synonyms to this name of Titly.  Next week will bring more thought on this. Tetley teabag sounding surname is a good option. He was given a down down for completing the run tonight.

 

Prick of the week.      The following members were called into the circle: Slab, Truckie, Josephine, and Miscarriage. Slab because he was eating his leftover lunch tonight. All were directed to leave the circle except for Miscarriage.

As he is renowned for fronting up with the City Council and saving others from future confrontation and so saving money giving advise to others.  Another down down.

 

The GM presented a white T-shirt as lost property. No one owned up and it is assumed that it should be given to the new member Nick.

 

Next week’s run.  This run will be at Chevron Island, Surfers Paradise.

 

The GM advises that there is no Winston Churchill quote it was felt to be too deep for runners to understand. So now there is a new approach and using new quotes.

 

Quote of the Week.       David King.

 

“When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her”

 

 

Bent Banana terminated the circle at 8.57pm.

 

 

On On Sec.