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hare 2196

Run 2196…Caustic Crusader

Date: 2nd December 2019…………………
Location: Burleigh ……………………………
Runners:26………………………………………….

Run Pictures………………………………………..

Run Number 2196.

26 Runners in attendance.

Gala event at Burleigh Waters.

Hare – Caustic Crusader of whom it’s been said “He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.”
What a night it promised to be.
With much anticipation your (STAND-IN) scribe and (STAND-IN) booze master S Bends prepared the eskys, gathered up the Scottish beer and headed up Skyline Terrace for the evenings festivities. The Scottish beer was a bit of a waste really, as Caustic Crusader had forgotten about St. Andrew’s Day.
The hare’s instructions for the walk and run proved rather prophetic, as his opening statement of “Its all downhill from here” proved to be oh-so-true.
The promise of a free beer for the first of either the walkers or runners to return to the bucket created some consternation later in the circle, as exception was taken to the presumption that there was going to be a race in the Hash – Never.
I’m not sure who won that free beer, however, I do know it wasn’t Circumference, Ball Bags or Sweathog. After being lost for just over two hours, they eventually stumbled their way back to the bucket as dry as a Pommie’s bath mat. The only real upside to being lost for that long was that by the time they returned to the bucket, the beer was nice and cold.

Unfortunately, the evening’s exertions were a bit too much for Ball Bags who took his leave and went home early. I don’t blame him. It was a great effort for a runner his age, to make his way up and down those hills for so long and I take my hat off to him. Birthday beers next week Ball Bags.
On the run, Circumference became quite excited when he spotted the two bikini clad lassies on the boardwalk. However what really got his heart racing later was the bloody big snake he nearly ran into. Luckily Sweathog was behind him and able to break his fall when he leapt 10 feet in the air.
After and enjoyable nosh of curry and rice with fruit pies, custard and ice cream for sweets, the (STAND-IN) GM called the circle together.
The (STAND-IN) booze masters of Sir Two Dogs and Sir Blackstump took up the task of filling the down-down chalices. Down downs, in no particular order, went to
Ball Point for going the wrong way at the start of the run.
Returning runners, Hal Al, Ball Point and Dutch Oven.
Then the  (STAND-IN) RA, Shat, took control of the procedings.
Dutch Oven was also charged for not wearing hash gear in the circle and he was joined by S Bends (for not providing proper training on Dutch Oven’s introduction to the hash). Strawberry Fields also joined them for a drink but I’m not sure why.

Sir Ferrett charged Fullershit for lying about Ball Bags’ actual birthday, which was, in fact, on Saturday.

Prick of the week, Y2KY Jelly, was charged, by Ball Point for not wearing The POW regalia in the circle. Not a very smart thing to do in hindsight, as inevitably, (after ruling out the GM for being AWOL and Caustic for inciting racing within the Hash) the POW of the week went back to Ball Point. In Ball Point’s absence next week, Y2KY Jelly will bring it along and there could be some questions on hash committee protocol to be answered.
Sir Blackstump announced that the next run will be at the Community Centre in Nerang and will not involve swimming in the Nerang River, as there’s not enough water.

Special thanks to the (STAND-IN) Trailer Master, Bent Banana.

End of circle – Go home you lot

ah good

Run 2195…Sir AH

Date: 25th November 2019…………………
Location: Highland Park …………………….
Runners:27………………………………………….

Run Pictures………………………………………..

Run Report 2195

 

The location was at the end of the car park at the old Masters in Nerang. Lots of helpers set up tables and chairs under a tall street light that turned out later to be none functioning. Eskies were set up to one side. Bent Banana set up the trailer nearby with a serving table beside it.

 

At precisely 6:15 GM called in the hare Sir AH to give route instructions and to follow chalk, paper and flour. He said that walkers and runners would split off at the end of the water pipeline, walkers left and runners right, then set them off south along Hinkler Drive.

 

Trail soon turned west through the bush, then followed the fence line at the back of the houses on Orlando Court. We soon joined the pipeline and headed south to Alexander Drive. Here the pack split, runners heading west and walkers heading east. On home was north back up Hinkler Drive to the car park. Walk was about 30 minutes, nice and easy.

The hare had placed a bowl of sliced watermelon and scattered with dates on the table. Ferrett, Hard On and Kwakka were helping carve the leg of ham, and the hare was busy slicing cucumber and tomatoes. An assortment of salads were also ready. Hashers lined up for the nosh. KB came late, I think he got lots of scraps, but seemed to enjoy it. Tarts in little aluminium containers followed, doused in yoghurt.

Once the tables and chairs were put back into the trailer, GM called the circle. Ball Bags was called to give a run report, but immediately started complaining about the scoring for last week’s run. Anyway, he reported that checks were varied, but run was well set, scored 8.

Jigsaw was called to give a walk report. He thought the trail was well marked, up to Alexander Drive. He commented on a former walker, now keen runner, VD, for running part of the trail for the first time in 15 years.

Strawberry Fields was called to give a nosh report. He thought there were many choices of salads and side dishes, although he had trouble understanding what going up for seconds was. He scored a 7. AH got a down down, Hard On gave the note.

Returning runner was Ferrett who had just come back after a 4,800 km RV trip, Circumference gave a note.

Stand in RA Miscarriage stepped in, resplendent in the Prick of the Week gear.

STD was called out for marking territory in full view of the girls from the fitness centre running around the building.

Brutus for having the audacity to give away the PoW without even having it.

KB for talking about Sir Rabbit as if he was dead.

Over achievers VD, who ran for the first time in 15 years, and Strawberry.

Ball Point for graphic description of his reaction to the nosh last week.

Circumference gave them all a note.

RA switched to Prick of the Week and called out STD, Brewtus and Y2KYJelly. Y2KYJelly got it for rushing by and leaving mates behind.

GM resumed duties. Circumference spoke about the Kiwi Pom cricket.Blue Card gave away about 4 hash t-shirts to Strawberry Fields.

GM announced it was 3 weeks to the Hash Xmas run. Get your hats and t-shirts ready. $20 for food and drinks.

 

Ferrett had two Trinidad and Tobago Interhash regos for sale for US$150 each.

Blackie announced his hash in 2 weeks would be at the Nerang River Community Centre.

Next weeks run by Caustic, location to be announced.

Sir Jo was brought in for suggesting it was better to have a long sexless life rather than to die of prostate cancer.

Ball Point commented on the GM’s cap and wondered where the Captain’s hat was.

Ball Bags closed the circle.

On on

Mad Mike

run 2194 image

Run 2194…Rug

Date: 18th November 2019…………………
Location: Coombabah …………………………
Runners:31………………………………………….

Run Pictures………………………………………..

Hare, Rug, again chose Mosquito Park at Coombabah as his venue. Thankfully , due to the dry weather, the mossies were on their Monday RDO. Instructions were given
for the separate run/walk trails, before hashers set off in opposite directions. The trail for the runners was going well with plenty of markings until two arrows turning left into a park were the last ones to be seen for some time. As usual when there are no false trails, the pack soon splits into the greyhounds up the front and the clydesdales bringing up the rear.  Sweat Hog, Ball Bags, Sir Blackie and Circumference were the leading clydesdales who wandered around the park looking for the trail for about 15 minutes before Sir Blackie found another arrow about  500 metres down a path. So after his return round trip to tell all, and realising we were well and truly in the back of the pack club, a decision was made to head back home. Sirs Two Dogs and Botcho had already got back after realising, near the tennis courts, they were on the reverse of a previous 8 kilometre run set by the same hare. Not really a hard decision when cold beer was waiting instead of a long sweaty slog. Pepe, Miscarriage and Brutus soon appeared as the first returning runners.

The walkers wandered in to be greeted with snacks of crackers, cabana and a tofu looking red cheese. The birthday Peronis supplied by Brutus were hard to come
by as Poxy had parked his arse on the esky by using it as a chair. Soon Rug announced it was curry time which was a tasty Rangi beef with rice. With plenty to go around, seconds were popular. Dessert was next up and the hare announced it as a concoction in a cup, not to be confused with a cock-up , something we heard about later in the circle.With most hashers now full to the brim after devouring the concoction made up of grapes,blue berries, passionfruit, mint and yoghurt, the GM called it was time for the circle.
Qantasq
Brutus was asked to rate the run and scored it as a 9.2, as he found it enjoyable and well marked, in parts. Poxy’s review of the walk was a pretty obvious when one walks, one foot in front of the other and he scored it 4/8. A rumbling from the rear of the circle was heard and who else but Ball Bags stepped forward with his alternate opinion of the run from his rear of the run perspective. What’s this lovey dovey PC shit about a well marked run, he shouted. He further added -there were no f****ing arrows. Gourmet critic for the evening, Hard On gave the nosh a 9/10.

Shat stepped up as the stand-up RA and pulled out his red bellied black trouser snake. A game of drop to the ground when the snake hit the ground was played and Sweat Hog got a down down for a slow drop. With another hash bike of Vietnam after Dark tour commencing this week, Truck Tyres and Rug got farewell drinks until their next beer tin KL. Ballpoint was asked the price of birthday beers and it was found he has been subsidising other hashers by overpaying. Beer economics means all is well as he has been generously covering any underpayments. Miscarriage told a gardening story about SPV mowing his grass Brazilian style to stop others cutting the grass at his home in his absence. Sir Jo took a down down as SPV’s proxy on the evening.

Strawberry Fields was called out by Ballpoint for his valour in coming back every Monday night after being stuck with that hash name. Strawberry didn’t blink an eyelid and replied that he only came back regularly for the good food!  Shat got a mention by the GM as having the same name as his new sexual advisor in Sydney, a Dr J Shat
who apparently specialises in good times in later years.

To the catchy sounds of POW, POW, Sir Two Dogs called out his nominations – the GM, Y2K Jelly and Miscarriage. As someone who has previous experience in cocked-up hash runs, Miscarriage was hands down to be the POW with his recent comments in the GC Bulletin about the proposed location of the new  Merrimac Railway Station, declaring it a dead set cock-up.

Ball Bags closed the circle.

Another great night of hashing and back to some sanity after a day where the mainstream media reported all sorts of stories including in Australia of comments from different persons about the reasons for the current bushfires excluding the elephant in the room – arsonists. Over in Iran, as the Ayatollah has put the price of petrol up from 44 cents to 66 cents a litre and commenced rationing, deadly protests erupted including trying to torch a fuel storage warehouse and in retaliation, the Internet has now been cut off. Then there’s always the good old USA where mass shootings are now heading towards 400 for this year, so what do people do, they go and buy more guns and ammo.

On On
Circumference
(As rostered stand-in scribe this week)

 

lunch image

Carefree’s 80th Birthday Bash

Date: 15th November 2019…………………
Location: Mainbeach …………………………..
Attendees:22………………………………………….

Run Pictures………………………………………..

Thanks to all that made my Birthday Splinter Lunch a great day.
Brengun was kind with his story of my Hash Life
Wrongway organised great food
Weekly relieved you of funds
Botcho did his usual photo shoot.
And all of you seemed to have a good time.
We lingered till after 3pm at Thai Eatery, nobody seemed in a rush to leave.
Finally a good crowd repaired to Schuck for an early edition of traditional Main Beach Choir Practice.
Late entrants were SPV, Miscarriage, Sweathog, Mr & Mrs Poxy and Swollen Colon.
I was helped across Tedder Avenue by Sweathog about 6pm but was not the last to leave.
Apologies if I missed anyone. However I was a little fuzzy later in the day.
Thanks for the Card and good wishes.
On On Carefree
run 2193 image

Run 2193…Carefree & Wrongway

Date: 11th November 2019…………………
Location: Arundel …………………………..
Runners:39………………………………………….

Run Pictures………………………………………..

As the pack gathered for Carefree‘s birthday run it became obvious that, just like the foundations of his investment property, it would all be done with smoke and mirrors.
There were early signs that the timing for the night’s event might be a little awry. The trailer booked for 5:45 arrived right on 5:45, Truckie Time, which was in fact, 6:15 Eastern Standard Time.
Runners and walkers headed off into the smokey twilight, however the promise of running in the bush was a little over stated, as we padded around the pavement for an enjoyable 30 minutes.
Back at the bucket, the tables and chairs were all set up and Truckie had done a masterful job of rejigging the swinging Lantern. All was in readiness for the expected nosh.
However it became evident that the scheduling department was still having teething problems as Carefree paced up and down the driveway like diarrhoea sufferer waiting for an empty cubicle, with his mobile phone running hot. Uber Eats were lost.
Ever-resourceful, the GM called the circle early to avoid the evening spilling over into Tuesday morning.
The run and walk reports by Rug and Sweathog pointed out the obvious lack of bush, either in bodily form or natural foliage. But as Sir Prince noted, the fact that the hare, ably assisted by Wrongway, could set a run on his 80th birthday, was true testament to the fortitude of the hashman.
Returning runners, in the form of Miscarriage, Phantom, Sir Jo and Wikipedia entered the circle for their Down Downs. Sir Jo regaled the throng with his love of touring the southern parts of the country, especially Victoria and Miscarriage presented a Venetian Boat Captain’s hat for either the GM or Carefree, which the GM immediately claimed, as it was also his birthday.
Sir Slab was then invited to have a down down to celebrate his departure to the Indochina Mekong Hash representing the Gold Coast kennel.
As a follow-up to Ball Point’s email bemoaning the loss of his “Make Hash Great Again” hat, he was called into the circle and reminded about his taking the piss out of Weekly when his very significant “run hat” went missing. Well done to KB for an excellent piss take and reminder that people who live in glasshouses shouldn’t throw stones.
After Weekly reminding the gathering of Carefree Splinter lunch next Friday, Rug advised next week’s run was from his usual spot in Hansford Road with five star cuisine to follow.

 

There was no prick of the week this week as the current holder was an absentee.
At this time, out of the smoky gloom, appeared and Uber Eats man carrying the promised nosh.  Chabbi’z Tandoori Kitchen and had finally found the venue and didn’t disappoint with a great meal and plenty of it.
The desert then followed with chocolate profiteroles and cream/ice cream to finish off what turned out to be a great evening and a celebration of Carefree‘s 80th birthday.

 

At this point your ever-vigilant scribe did a runner and left the remaining revellers to enjoy the remainder of the evening and, hopefully, not upset the neighbours.

 

Note from Birthday Boy – Carefree:

Thanks to those who adjusted to the request for non-use of profanity in their announcements. Relaxed neighbours are all important.

As to the six arseholes who ignored the request – they will not be named, as an Act of Kindness.