Location: Surfers paradise
Date: 20th December, 2010
GCHHH Christmas run 2010
Through the alcoholic haze and fading memory of your faithful On Sec the following points are drifting back.
- Gathering on Shat’s front lawn in the afternoon solarium.
- Santa suits (summer version) are distributed to all compliments of your sharing and caring hierarchy.
- Excellent nibbles are provided and Cumsmoke is in top form consuming half of them
- Pizza is talking English of sorts and appears to be sober at this point.
- NO BUS arrives to head to Versace.
- The pack wanders off in an Easterly direction to spread Hash goodwill.
- First thirst quencher is with a wonderful view of the esplanade construction zone and cold beers run freely.
- Down to Cavill Ave to find some overseas tourists to spread further goodwill.
- Photos spots galore and Cumsmoke is in his element.
- Flasher is walking along in his undies.
- Pizza is getting a bit slurred.
- Caustic has fielded a call to say the assistants for tonight are double booked……….. Oh Fuck!!!!!
- A (Very) quick visit to the cop shop on the way for even more goodwill.
- The Lansdowne Pub is next and 30 swarming red coated santas attack the bar.
- More good will with Shat and others looking after some lost Swedish female backpackers.
- Mystery venue stand in for the Versace turns out to be the private room of the Clock Hotel.
- Steak, Salmon or Chicken ????? All excellent!!!!
- Hash Cash says FREE DRINKS !!!!!! for one hour.
- Pizza is pissed.
- Flasher orders the steak “medium rare please”
- Caustic has solved the assistant debacle and called in the next best option………….. Pay MORE … get the best!!!
- Assistant “A” arrives ………. seems she was looking the other way when the tits were being handed out, rushed up to get her’s but by then they were dishing our arses “so she got two”
- Caustic interviews “A” and confirms the appointment. Caustic likes to give them Nicknames …….. This one got AA cup.
- Assistant “B” arrives ……Seems she was looking the other way when the personalities were being handed out, but fronted up well for the tits (maybe latter surgical assistance too) however gravity has taken it’s toll.
Poor thing had had a falling out with the bouncers at Shooters the night before so “can’t carry trays I’m sorry got a sore wrist”
25.Caustic names this one “Point South”
26.30 Minutes left on the FREE GROG !!!!!!!!!!!!!
27. R/A issues numerous charges that do and don’t stick!!!!
28. BB takes up the challenge to offer many and varied DD songs … A great effort !!!
29. Pizza attempts to speak ……………. No one understands???
30. Croc jumps in the assist with translation of Pizza’s slurred rendition.
31. Meals are finished and Flasher still doesn’t have his steak.
32. Flasher stands on a chair so we can all admire his Christmas bloomers.
33. FREE DRINKS are extended.
34. Miscarriage joins in the vertical challenged musical chairs game to deliver a Christmas wish from his twin brother, along with charges all round.
35. Flasher gets his steak ……….. delicious he says !!
36.Mayhem and frivolity continue until the pub calls … LAST DRINKS!!
37. The assistants depart to get into civvies.
38. Hash Cash takes a valium.
39. Caustic collapses excausted.
40. Pizza and BB are last seen stumbling along arm in arm toward the Cavill cab rank, Pizza is coaching BB on the art of home brewing and BB listens intently.
41. Another Christmas run draws to a close ………………. and we ponder “How we do it”
Merry Christmas & a Happy New Year!
I wanted to send some sort of holiday greeting to my Hash friends, but it is difficult in today’s world to know exactly what to say without offending someone. So I met with my lawyer (Cumsmoke) recently, and on advice I wish to say the following:
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non addictive, gender neutral celebration of the summer solstice holiday practiced with the most enjoyable traditions of religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice with respect for the religious / secular persuasions and / or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.
I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2011, but not without due respect for the calendar of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make our country great (not to imply that Australia is necessarily greater than any other country) and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.
By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:
This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her / him or others and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. The wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.
Best Regards (without prejudice)
Name withheld (Privacy Act).