Hares: Flatulence & Flasher
Location: Lands End, Biggera Waters
Date: 28th March. 2011
Flatulence with Swollen Colon followed by Flasher was the theme for tonight’s run!!!!
Gathered at Lands End bridge with parking a premium the pack built to the point where parking was 1 Kilometer away…….. Swollen where are you?????
Swollen where are you ????? echoed across the park.
On On….. stand in hare Flasher is “Live hare” as the trail is washed out… That’s right … Washed out !!!! R/A Cumsmoke is in serious shit !!!!
Flatulence gives the run instructions ….. on on over the bridge and left down the stairs … 2/3rds of the pack only heard “Left” obviously as the debacle unfolds within 40 metres of the start. A great run ensues with the hare being sprung hiding behind a fence at the ¾ mark.
Back to the nosh and “Where the f%$# is Swollen echoes across the park…. seems Swollen is discovered in Sydney and Mrs Swollen was to stand in with the nosh but she is a bit crook and its now over the Flatulence with Flasher filling in for the run.
SIMPLE …. buy a few roast chickens and add them to the Chilli con carne and rice….. add a few cans of peaches and a hash gourmet follows.
Hence the theme of the night … more later !!!!!!!!!
8.00PM and it is apparent that Private Dicky Knee now sees the opportunity for GM nomination with Pizza out of the race…. Dicky is rumoured to be buying votes with TZ video tapes.
“Rockhard for GM” is also an obvious campaign…. seems Caustic has been appointed campaign manager.
Pizza also has votes for sale from his abandoned campaign … at last count there were 2 available ( 1 being Pizza and the other an anonymous member) for $500 each.
Caustic is rumoured to have sold the Benz to fund a late run so he is a likely contender for the Pizza votes.
CIRCLE …. It’s 8.03 pm
VISITORS … Just Dave and Just Sean.
“Who made you cum??” asks GM Flasher!!!
TONIGHT WE HAVE A SPONSOR announces GM Flasher.
A very elegant member…..
Modelling makeover academy ………………
Miscarriage’s Modelling Makeovers P/L is founded tonight revealing the hidden talents of these elegant twin brothers.
Miscarriage wears the plaque of office at half-mast around ankle height.
DDs follow for all concerned!!!!
YELLOW CODE …. “M” GM … off the hook is Bent Banana.
HARE is up next ….. Flatulence !!!
NOSH report …. Cumsmoke you had 3 helpings what were your thoughts???
“Not bad GM but canned peaches Hmmmmmmmmmm !!
RUN report ….. Botcho …. Botcho and Blackstump cop it for short-cutting.
Bent Banana and Rug ….. took half the pack the wrong way at the first check!!!! “SHAME” says Ferret……
R/A is called up to explain the GM getting drenched doing the run and the traditional ICING of the R/A follows.
DDs all round follow the icing.
With a very slooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow note from Ruuuuuuuuug.
Splinter Lunch report and Caustic maintains that he arrived at 4.30 to pick up a few members namely Ferret, Pizza, Sir Rabbit and Rug who was imitating a goldfish …. all too pissed to speak … On On to Bent Banana’s for cheese and bickies …..
Seems cheese and bickies is a TWO HANDED job these days for our Rug !!!!
Nasty arrived in style in a blue Lamborghini…… that appeared to take 14 laps around the block to find a suitable park.
The R/A is up next and revenge appears sweet on his menu….. Gross overstatement of the R/A authority ….over-ruling the obvious failure to influence the gods.
R/A Cumsmoke takes revenge on the innocent victims of Bent Banana, KB and Rug with an icing in the same polluted bucket full of germs from the unwashed previous extremities rightfully occupying the ice bucket.
KB followed by Bent Banana and the Rug complete with socks all occupy the ice and get re-entry demands for early exit.
POW Pizza is STILL missing in action somewhere between Bundall and Sydney…
Bring our prick back Pizza !!!!!!!!!!
Next week’s run …. Ferret … somewhere North of the Surf club at Broadbeach…. Look out for the “Ferret Face “It’s easy claims Dicky Knee … it’s under camera 126 !!!!
GM election campaigns are noted from the following … cast your vote carefully !!!
Private Dicky Knee. ( Previous Mayor of Essendon)
Rockhard ( Campaign Mgr Caustic)
Bent Banana ( An independent candidate )
With a late rear entry from Old Fart.
END OF CIRCLE … Called by Ferret at 8.35pm
WELCOME BACK …Point Two .
PS …. The recent letter to the editor from Caustic Crusader on the Valentines debacle ring in the ears of your trusty on-sec.
Flatulence and Swollen Colon with Flasher following up was the theme for tonight…………….
Well, true to Caustic’s rendition of recent events your on-sec is here to confirm the theme for tonight came true around 3.30 am Tuesday.
First was Flatulence of unbelievable proportions as the nosh had brewed its way to gastronomic explosive proportions, involuntary relief of this pressure was greeted with distain from Mrs KB who was now 1.4 mtrs further across the marital bed.
A Swollen Colon was the next obvious transition of this post Hash event with major emergency relief required prior to potential enormous embarrassment of Latrine proportions……………
Hence the final part to the theme ……. Flasher KB races to the ablutions dept to experience the same relief sensations quoted in the Caustic rendition. Only to hear what appears to be a common comment from the fairer sex …”You dirty bastard” ….
Click goes the door to the marital bedroom … KB slinks off to the spare room for good night’s sleep interrupted only by the occasional explosion of gasses playing a steady tune………….
Another successful hash debacle!!!!!