PLEASE NOTE; Due to your glorious Hierarchy’s ability to manage funds, the weekly food contribution has now risen to $135.00 (which includes the fact you do not pay the $15.00 on the night). However if you do not spend the full amount please don’t claim it as we will know by the quality and quantity of food and launch an immediate enquiry, and subsequent reprisals.
In the event you have a great event/idea planned and wish to spend above the allocated amount you must pre arrange this with the Hash Cash, Blackstump, who will kindly advise you to go “jump” (or on very rare occasions consider your request). Nights at pubs/restaurants will attract a $5.00 fee.
Please, to ensure the words are being read, a “secret” Hash foot will be implanted in the weekly photos. During the circle the RA will randomly ask for the description of the photo where the “foot” is located. Non compliance will result in the usual and swift reprisal.
Date: Monday 25th July 2011
Venue: Broadwater Parklands, Southport
Weeks to AGPU: 47
As the pack jostled for car parks, with some even resorting to using the Disabled spots, news filtered of Cumsmoke’s escapades on Sydney’s notorious Oxford Street. It appears he headed down for a quiet drink with a few mates but somehow ended up patrolling the gay bars, appropriately dressed apparently, severely breaking rule#1 and bringing the Hash into disrepute. Consequences to follow.
The run site was at the northern end of the new Broadwater Parklands, adjacent to Labrador, hinting this could be a somewhat predictable route. The pack headed over the Gold Coast Highway, busy road number #1, then continued towards the Railway Hotel (formerly Del Plaza), where we encountered a two way check. All good except each way had an “FT” (is that like an on back?) and the actual trail continued west along Nind Street over busy road number #2. After we crossed busy road number #3 we found another check then headed east along George Street until reaching busy road number #4. Fortunately the run route was in and around the hospital precinct so anyone falling victim to Veteran’s plan of having us all being run over at various stages, wouldn’t have to go far for help (though I don’t know if you’d call a stint at Gold Coast hospital “helpful”). Onwards over busy road #5 through to Ferry road, another on back (or is that FT) then over busy road #6 (there’s a message in here somewhere) and onwards to the back streets before emerging at the Rugby Club and heading to the Broadwater pathways for the 2km run home, with a few notable short cutters spotted in the distance. A solid 45min run for most.
AS soon as we got home the nibbles and slops, sorry stew, was ready. Served with mash or rice (still trying to figure it out) the pot was soon emptied. Blackstump made a brief return as Hash Cash, following his Tour De France style prang, but only long enough to collect the cash and head off on holidays. The security guard (another pattern emerging here) did several passes but refused to stop and enforce the 2 hour time limit on what looked like a soup kitchen in full flight. Missing Link gave the food a 4/10 (greatly impressed), however Ferret was a bit more vocal saying it “lacked something” (food most likely) and gave it a 3/10 (also impressed). Bent Banana gave the run report saying “it was hard and fast and needed more checks” but still gave a 7/10 (what run did he do?).
We also found out that Pizza’s visitor, Bog, was the guy who introduced him to Hash, automatically making him the most wanted person in Hash and was subsequently and accordingly iced, though his veggie joke was a hit. Popeye, a visitor from Brisbane was down on a fishing trip and decided to drop in. We got the full story on the Cumsmoke shenanigans in Sydney and all decided he’d lost the plot and was duly iced, as was Aussie for not knowing the whereabouts of the “foot”. Valiant also gave a report of the over 60’s lunch in Brisbane announcing yet another successful event. Missing Link consequently advised that there will also be a Splinter Splinter Lunch in Broadbeach this Friday to cater for those under 60, or who couldn’t make the Brisbane event. Sir Cumference did some pathetic grovelling and presented the RA with a “Down Down Hand” acquired by our latest sponsor, Coles.
Popeye, Bog & Pizza; Visitors & Pizza for taking visitor to pub during run
Bog; Plus iced for introducing Pizza to Hash
Aussie; Also Iced for not knowing where “Hash Foot” was in photos
*Aussie*; Given a *credit* by RA for handing in lost property
Cumsmoke; Also Iced and made to confess sins by RA for severe rule #1 infringements
Link; Recovering lost property from AGPU (passed on by Flasher)
Rainbow; Allegedly destroying vehicle in pursuit of nuisance birds at airport, replaced by dog
Cumsmoke; Failed attempt of trying to charge Bent Banana re bull photo, which soured his failed Sydney pick up attempt (gay too, where they?)
Pizza; And iced, for being Pizza
Now that we have your attention
The Shat Party Gourmet Pizza Lunch
Venue: Botcho’s Place. 26 Chip In Place Helensvale. ( next to Helensvale Golf Club)
Date: Sunday 21st August 2011
Time: From 11:00 for the thirsty ones, or 12 o’clock if you’re not
Cost: $10 per head, bring your loved ones
RSAP: Yes please. Need numbers
That is all,
On On from “The Desk”