Hare: Jig saw
Hash Pictures Mobile Link
Jigsaw had invited the Hashers to use his pool but it was not a pretty sight particularly with Cum Smoke doing a good imitation of Free Willy the killer whale.
First up Bent Banana gave a run report and said he was a bit confused by the two way arrows and couldn’t understand how Flasher was on his second drink at the drink stop in the park. By now it could be expected that Bent Banana knows Flasher as a perennial shortcutter especially when there is drink involved. Rock Hard said it was a good flat walk and he enjoyed Pizza’s homemade moonshine guinness stout.
Jigsaw had excelled himself with the nosh and we could all see now why Mrs Jigsaw never cooks. Josephine gave the nosh a 7.75.
THE RA Miscarriage
We had a guest RA this week and it was Nelson Mandela risen from the dead, returning to this life as a Muslim wearing white flowing Arab robes.
Rug seems to be becoming the regular nosh critic, and probably a well deserved appointment as he looks like he has been in a good paddock. He said the good old dips were reminiscent of days gone by when the booze master provided dips. There was plenty of pasta and he thought the best description of the meal was beef stroganoff but he wasn’t sure that pasta was one of the main ingredients. As for the dessert, Rug thought it was pure genius to put aviation fuel on sultanas and light them to put a new dimension to the cheap icecream which went with it. Being particularly generous with a Christmas spirit he gave it an 8.9. Kitchen bitch without being asked for an opinion interjected said he would like to give Pizza’s beer an 8.75.
Rock Hard was called out as being an absentee from the cocktail party although he had pre-paid he was severely castigated for wanting his money back just because he was a self-admission to hospital on the day. Nelson Mandela recognised another man of colour in the circle and called Missing Link out for an uncharacteristic Muslim action of downing a drink. The RA thought the meal should have been called ‘beef stroke me off’ after Jigsaw had flashed one of his special movies up on his 100 inch television screen before the nosh.
The RA complained that he had been relegated to last in the nosh queue after Lurch carrying a large trough instead of plate jumped in front of him. The 4 Peter’s Blackie, Shat, Rabbit and Bent Banana got a Down Down for imitating the RA at the cocktail party as they were all wearing name tags saying that they were Peter when there was really only one important Peter in the Hash club.
Flasher received special recognition for staying on the trail for the first time in years.
Cum Smoke was last weeks POW and was in fine form to find a suitable victim to take the mantle this week. Slug would have got it except we would have been subject to a 20 minute acceptance speech. Lurch nearly got it for sending a debt collection note for certain vehicle defect infringements but finally the award went to Rug as the only Hasher still with a VHS machine who would be able to watch a whole bag of instructional VHS tapes which Cum Smoke had found in his collection.
Nasty took a drink for being the best dressed in his Liberace outfit.
Christmas Run Monday 16th Dec 2013 drinks 5 for 5.30 sharp departure Bruce Bishop Carpark Roof. Wear something red and Christmas like. Need to pay $25 or if you have had less than 10 runs for the year $50. If you get lost or have any questions, call the GM on 0407 134 745
END OF CIRCLE
JOKE OF THE WEEK – ONE LINER’S COMPLIMENTS OF CAUSTIC
I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair, but by turning to religion I was soon able to come to terms with the whole thing. I converted to Islam, and we’re stoning her in the morning.
My wife suggested I get myself one of those dick enlargers, so I did…. she’s 21 and her name’s Sarah.
Went to the pub with my girlfriend last night. Locals were shouting pedo and other names at me just because my girlfriend is 21 and I’m 50. It completely spoilt our 10th anniversary.
Following the tragic death of the Human Cannonball at the Kent Show, a spokesman said “We’ll struggle to get another man of the same calibre.”
My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class give him a hand-job. I said “Son, that’s 3 schools this year. You want to stop before you’re banned from teaching altogether.”
Just been to the gym. They’ve got a new machine in. Only used it for half an hour as I started to feel sick. It’s great though. It does everything – KitKats, Mars Bars, Snickers, Crisps, the lot..”
Question – Are there too many immigrants inAustralia ? 17% said yes; 11% said No; 72% said “I am not understanding the question please.”
I thought the wife would be the ideal candidate for a new TV show.
Turns out I got it all wrong and the program’s called Fact Hunt.
The cost of living has now got so bad that my wife is having sex with me because she can’t afford batteries!
Some bastard’s just pinched a pair of my wife’s knickers off the washing line. She’s not bothered about the knickers but she wants the 12 pegs back.