Hare: Caustic Crusader
A good virgin is hard to find these days and especially one with a bit of bush. But this week’s hare certainly nailed one in this new territory at Schuster Park which is located beside Tallebudgera Creek. After a short walk for some and a longer for others from their cars to the venue, the pack watched as the sunlight diminished before the hare gave instructions . Walkers to the east and runners to the west and soon all were off in anticipation of covering some new ground on a Monday night. There was plenty of horse shit in the paddocks to dodge and the well marked trail soon had a few hashers in the creek. Some smarter ones found a bridge to cross and keep dry only to later find themselves covered in mud after running past the venue for an extra kilometre on the way home.
The walkers also returned just in time for the free $1 birthday Crownies supplied by the hare. The GM opened a haberdashery op shop with a lot of retro clobber from his fashionista days in the 1970’s. Now Loved grabbed himself a flashing coat and other hashers helped themselves to all sorts of other hash and civilian clobber and bags. A notable item on the table was Sir Slabb’s 900 run milestone trackie dacks which will be presented back to him when he does his 1900 th run with an extra 1 embroided in front of the 900.
While the hash jumble sale was on, the hare and Kitchen Bitch were preparing the nosh inside the corral serving area with its entry/exit gates. A plate full of Madras curry, condiments and Turkish bread soon had most stumped with just one serving however Fanny Charmer had a another lashing to reload after working up an appetite on the run. Next up was chocolate cake, strawberries and a squirt of cream. A possum saw how good the nosh looked and joined the back of the queue and when no one was looking grabbed some bread. Weekly rolled his milestone chair and ended arse up over backwards and while doing so did not spill his nosh or drink.
The GM called circle up and out came the Caustic Crusader for his Run of the Year attempt with virgin territory as the solo hare/cook and Birthday Crownies.
Lurch’ comments were – a dry run at first and a bit of bush which I haven’t been on for awhile. Kitchen Bitch, our resident hash MKR judge, remarked that the nosh was outstanding. The possum who was sitting on a branch in a tree and watching the circle also gave it a paws up. Weekly’s walk critique was that it was heavy going, close to a crawl, I felt like Burke and Wills at one stage.
Sir Prince Valiant gave us a summary of how GC hashers conducted themselves at Nash Hash with the usual suspects displaying their inglorious worst behaviour while representing the GC hash. He also advised that it is now onto Port Douglas for Crocodile Hash in Port Douglas,FNQ in 2019.
Caustic charged Weekly for his comments on the GM’s giveaway jackets which he described as Fat Cunts Jackets. Bent Banana advised that he was happy with his new clobber especially when he found a folded $50 in the pocket of his.
Now Loved and Circumference were soon having a down down for attempting to cut through and consume the chocolate coloured paper wrapped around the dessert cake. Might be time for a Specsavers appointment. They were soon joined by Bent Banana, Weekly and Kitchen Bitch and all five of them resplendent in their new ex GM winter jackets got a down down.
A medical report that Mad Mike is firing on all cylinders again was well received by all.
It ‘s not every Monday night the hare puts in a big effort and takes home the POW but Birthday Hare, Caustic Crusader jagged it on this occasion. Fuller Shit handed over the award because of the distance he had to walk from the car park to the venue as he recuperates from his recent medical issue.
In the absence of regular circle closers, the GM decided as he had opened the circle, he might as well close it . So ended RPR 38.
HASH (pardon the pun) MEDIA WATCH
It must have been a slow news week just over the border last week. The ECHO is a North Coast independent newspaper and it reported that a man had been arrested for selling drugs from his happy herbs shop in Nimbin. What kind of news worthy story is that ?
I mean we all know what goes on there, the sort of people that live there and regularly go there to celebrate Mardi Grass, but maybe they were trying to shock us into believing that the police actually
arrested someone on one of the 365 days of the year when they turn a blind eye on the other 364 days of the year to the goings on in this weedy driven economy tourist town, well known for its hippies, Big Joint and various bong outlets.
Maybe there is such a thing as FAKE news after all.
Yours in hashing