A St Patrick’s Day pre-lube was the theme of this event. Even though there was no hash when St Patrick was around for his 106 years from 0387 to

17 March 0493, he probably would have made a great RA, being a saint and reptile remover. You would have to think that he would have knocked the froth off a few Kilkennys and Guinness in his long innings Knowing GC hashers, I am sure some of the local Irish watering holes will be in their sights next  Friday evening to fully celebrate a St Patricks Day/Week.

The venue was the boat ramp car park adjoining the Sundale Bridge. The instructions from the hare were to get to the D’Arcy Arms anyway you saw fit whether it be running, walking, light rail or a combination of any of these. KB arrived nice and early at the D”Arcy to negotiate give-away Irish hats from their old stock collection in return for the purchase of many Irish beers.  Generous Hash Cash Ferret returned just in time from his Ballarat trip to keep a watchful eye over the spending of his stand in, Sir Prince Valiant(SPV) as the cash was handed over for the drink stop. As the soft smooth creamy beers were obviously being enjoyed so much, KB decided to shout those interested another one. The rain began and the return trip back (North) to the Tedder Avenue station beckoned via the light rail where several hashers almost had a brush with the law(ticket inspectors). These fare evaders were saved by the stalling tactics and block put up by their fellow ticket holding hashers to distract the inspectors while they did a runner off the G at the rear of their carriage.

The free $1 birthday beers supplied by KB were Fat Yak Pale Ale and they were being consumed far faster by hashers than them depositing their gold coin dollar donation into the bucket which is required each time you enjoy one of these beers.  Appetites were getting strong after all the beers and it wasn’t long before the hare was serving up an Irish stew with lots of potatoes. The dessert was apple strudel and custard which topped up most pretty well. A circle was organised by the RA in the absence of the GM. Just in case, hashers had missed the RA’s call, a wake up loud bunger was let off in a rubbish bin by you know who relishing in the fact that hash was back in his postcode for the evening.

First up for a down down was the virgin GC hare who as he has slipped into our hash under the radar was asked about his hashing background which was in SE Asia. Bent Banana said he enjoyed the zig zag , well marked, bloody good run and nosh. The RA had spied a couple of incapacitated hashers sitting on their arses in the circle and told them to arise for a drink. So up stepped Fuller Shit and Carefree, the latter then sprung again for another drink for his over the shoulder delivery of beer spillage directly into Weekly’s bag.

The returning runners were Swollen Colon(now back in his 4217 postcode for this run), Ferret from Nash Hash and Rug from the UK. Rug told a bawdy Guinness/Lager joke before returning a stolen hash nosh trophy award from Rectum, another Pom we deported back to England. Things have certainly turned around from a couple of hundred years ago when the Poms used to send their thieves to Australia. So in keeping with the theme of law offenders, current POW Missing Link called the fare evaders into the circle. The no ticket trio were Bent Banana, Elvis(who actually had his not logged on Go Card with him) and Carefree. By a process of elimination Carefree was the last man standing for being the most dramatic runner off the G. He had crossed across the tracks to the ticket machine on the opposite side (South) that he was travelling. So another down down for the new POW, Carefree, who had to get home on his bicycle, somehow. KB was offering juicy betting odds on this not happening because of drink riding incapacity.

KB got a big Hashy Birthday thank-you for his D’Arcy Arms shout and birthday beers. A charge from Ferret on KB was reversed as KB invoked the cunning running defence in reference to his fast trip to the D’Arcy to organise a bar tab and give-aways.

As Moonbeams is always in our thoughts, special mention was made by SPV for Fanny Charmer’s assistance over the weekend in getting his financial affairs in order including setting aside $x for a keg for a Monday night drink.

Josephine was invited to close RPR 40.

Elvis announced that his run next Monday will feature a brand new menu from the Silver Thai My( Kangaroo Down Sport) restaurant (near Fleay’s Wildlife Park) at West Burleigh. So any of this nation’s fauna could be served up in the new courses.

On Wednesday 8 March, the ABC rostered all their male media presenters off for International Women’s Day and replaced them with women to promote Gender Equality. Even women thought this was token madness as it was really gender inequality in reverse, towards males.

Now in Victoria they have replaced the little man on the traffic signs with a little woman, when they change from red to green to red etc at pedestrian crossings. I am sure most people couldn’t give a toss whether it is little man or a little woman, as long as they can cross safely without having to have find a finishing burst like Usain Bolt to get across in time, but why waste public money on such a Dick/Dora trivial issue ?  A far better idea in Australian beach tourist areas like the GC, would be to put a pair of budgie smugglers on Dick and a string bikini on Dora which would be far more interesting viewing for pedestrians. By the way,whatever happened to WALK and DON’T WALK ?

Up Cairns way, they certainly picked an interesting day to open a titillating new venture, a stripped down hairdressing business. Men can receive a head (?)massage, hair wash, hair and beard trims from topless female staff. Local women’s activists said it did nothing to advance the causes of women. Cairns men said they had no objection to women getting their hair done by topless male hairdressers, if that advanced their cause.

Several years ago, a female MP named Anna Burke became the Speaker in Federal Parliament. As this was a first for a long time, many politicians were unsure of how to refer to her as they had been used to saying – Mr Speaker. Should it be Ms or Mrs or something else ?   So they asked her to which she replied – There is no sex in the chair while I am here. The chamber burst into laughter.

What’s next ? , the pointy front end of the plane currently known as the Cockpit being renamed the Box Office because of all female crews.

Yours in hashing

CIRCUMFERENCE