Location: Albert Park Benowa and back to Nasty’s Spa & Grill
Date: 24th January 2011
Due to the Hash Scribe abandoning his duties (AGAIN!!!!!!!) and forgetting to deputise an alternative Caustic volunteered (AGAIN!!!!!!!) (it will cost KB 2 beers and a bottle of battery acid Hash wine) and duly rustled up pen and “scrap” paper from Nasty which upon investigation the next day was recycled children’s school exam papers.!
Clear skies greeted a chirpy pack of some 30 Hashers who resembled Steptoe and Son 2nd hand “rag & bone”collection service
Promptly at 6:14:59 the pack assembled for the Hares briefing;
Nasty started by telling all that it was a 3 way run to cater for all levels of unfitness and went from a 200 metre limp to a 5 km male sprintathon ;no hills; no shiggy;and no fun! Should be back in 30 mins! Tops!! Short cutting was severely discouraged as it was only to be used as a “loosener” for the upcoming Aussie Day extravaganza!
We will see was the packs consensus
A “sitting” Circle called at about 8.30pm (it looks more and more like the decay of the Roman Empire with the Senators and their entourage lounging around and more interested in Rule 1 activities than what true Hashmen are “obligated to do” :remember the words “Noblesse oblige” TRANSLATED “in noble hood all Hashmen are required to meet their obligation !”)
The Hare was called out and 2 Dogs gave a run report who likened it to a “sprint to the showers” whilst Shat was giving Sir Prince “bird impersonations” which could be more likened to a man performing oral sex on a female ! (What on earth would a real Hash Man do that for on a Monday night ???)
After finishing his “nuzzling noises” he proceeded to give a run report of “mind blowing boredness” quote ,,,,”Marvellous, simply Marvellous, quite stunningly Marvellous” ; has he turned into a Rule 1 offender ??
Sir Prince gave an indifferent note somewhat perplexed by Shats noises in his ear
Anyway back to the run ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!! The VIP comfort bench of Sir Prince, Ferret and Sir Rabbit were now craving for bedtime stories as their tired eyes were closing for bee boos!
Peanuts, crisps, vegemite sandwiches and 1000 sprinkle Sangers
Pie ,mashed peas and potato with tomato sauce dressing drizzled over
Pavlova with all the trimmings
PS: Beautiful but all outsourced thru Nasty’s abusive slave labour program (Hash Cash commented that Nasty also had provided the fare within the budget; wait til his indigestion hits at 4 am!)
Note from Sir Rabbit whose strangulated testicle rendition of a note has now been replaced by an internal herniated prostate whilst crying in his pillow! Man up!!!
Note from RA
Q: What is the difference between broccoli and snot?
A: Boys won’t eat broccoli
Summation: A 1/10 score was awarded at it was a totally outsourced menu and may now contend for the worst Nosh of Year ! Buying the tomato sauce does NOT constitute culinary input.
Nasty delivered a scathing insight into Sir Rabbit along the lines of “ Sir Rabbit is fucked the lucky devil?? Or something like that for stealing Telstra phones and an unfaithful Rabbit should avoid all wild animals with teeth; especially offshore unknown female species!
Nobody got it ??
Lets look forward to next weeks reading !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Arse Up brought an unsuspecting 6”10 giant called Bill who when called out surprisingly made the GM go up another 2 stairs to keep parity!
Note from Arseup caused a charge from Caustic as Ferrett and Sir Rabbit were having a conference on the VIP comfort lounge ; duly charged and a down down awarded
Bill (or maybe Silly Billy) then went on to confide as he was an excited virgin he had bought some new gear Inc shoes!
Arseup gave 2nd note when Silly Billy had the customary shoe down down
RA was called to circle and called for charges
Nasty Nasty Nasty; how we remember those Nasty nights whilst you were GM
A) The 1st Down Down ; whilst Hash drank pre-Xmas slops Nasty drank Crownies : verdict GUILTY
2nd Whilst Nasty drank Penfold wine decanted thru an aerator Hash drank “battery acid “:GUILTY
3rd Nasty outsourced the food and claimed privilege:GUILTY
4th Nasty removed all Koran, scientology and other reading material in deference to the GM:GUILTY
5th RA quote “he’s just a c—t “ and the RA wanted him to remember and exceed the Bannockburn night (at Mudgeeraba) when Nasty as GM gave Caustic 7 down downs for the night:
Its reported that Nasty is now prostrate (sounding like a Sir Rabbit “note”) over the great white telephone! Man up; what is this Hash coming to??)
B) Jigsaw charged with Rule 1 contraventions after he and Cumsmoke were “bombing” the pool and he asked to HOLD HANDS! Charge upheld Guilty
6th Nasty tried to defend the indefensible charge B) and got another Down Down :GUILTY
c) Shat Xmas run aftermath report noted several items left at the Shatterie and when he followed up with Jigsaw was told he was too busy shopping!!!! (Q “Is Jigsaw the 1 in 10 Rule 1 offender; Rug please go into deep undercover and get to the bottom of this!!)
Caustic still retains the 7 Down Down record (without a puke !)
Miscarriage is holding over the POW
Aussie Day Extravaganza
The illustrious GM again tried to get numbers which were agreed to be within 7 and 200,000
22 booked on bus the rest of you bastards walk!
End of Circle for those still awake was called at 9ish