Location: Mermaid Beach
Date: 4th April, 2011
Seems the Australian surf live-saving association didn’t realise Ferret’s run was on when they set the location for the Australian titles 2011.
Ferret being an obliging individual shifts his run to opposite the surf club 5 kilometres further south. Cater for about 25 should do it says run master Caustic, 27,28, 29 S#%@ …………. still they came 30,31. F&%@
32 ….. 33 Ferret calls KB … Portion control…. Portion control !!!!!
On On off into the rain the pack heads out along a trail between the beach and 5 kilometres west. SCBs are in excess with many back not long at all after the start.
Ferret’s concerns for portion control are unfounded as the corned beef, spuds, carrots, peas and parsley sauce make the grade with 1 and ½ slices left over. Sweets follow and Ferret has re-written the book on loaves and fishes.
CIRCLE…… 8.05 pm
Before any festivities proceed the R/A is ordered to join GM Flasher in the driving rain to prove the R/A’s complete failure of his duties.
A line of hashers nothing like a circle gather under the small shelters dodging the rain as best they can.
RUN REPORT …… Circumference …. “Not bad” Old Fart …“plenty of SCB’s GM”
Including Sir Prince GM !!!!!!
NOSH REPORT ……. Sir Rabbit …. “Not much of it … Mustard a bit hot !!”
Show Pony …. “No seconds” 4/10 GM.
SIR PRINCE VALIANT … special announcement ….. New shoes after 15 years!!!
Hash tradition continues and SPV drinks from the shoe …. even though he didn’t wear them first!!!!
Circumference gives a note.
VISITORS…… Victorian father of the Miscarriage twins… sadly a Carlton supporter.
Young Darwin Don from Sydney
Mr Chips … back after many years.
Veteran gives the note.
Caustic calls for A MAJOR CHARGE …. An ICING in fact.
Seems Caustic put the run tally into the computer and published the results …..
CABOOM !!!!!!!! Complaints came within minutes….
An official audit reveals that our Botcho has stripped 200 runs off Blackstump’s tally wiping out almost a quarter of his 825 runs.
After boisterous protest Botcho’s bleating fails and our Botcho is on the ice for the first in his Hash life.
Caustic stutters over a very lengthy nooooooooooooote.
Run counts are now on our web site!!!!
Next up is RUG
RUG gets a call from his old employer ( never to leave the service) MI6 straight from the UK.
“ Need your support for a special visit”
Our RUG jumps the task and polishes up all his MI6 skills for the task.
Prowling the entire Gold Coast region RUG finally spots the target!!!!
A royal wave is spotted from the undercover vehicle and our RUG is on the case ….. Sir Prince waves again from the 4×4 and our RUG has completed yet another undercover mission justifying his six figure annuity.
Rug gives Sir Prince the note.
R/A is up next ….. CHARGES …. Nil !!!
POW … Pizza apologises for his 2 extra prick weeks. 3 minutes of bullshit follows as Pizza endeavours to justify everything.
Mid way through the POW tails a random farter strikes evacuating the Northern shelter in 3 seconds.
SIR PRINCE gets the POW for one pair of shoes in 15 years.
Pizza gives a note.
Sir Prince takes 8 (yes eight) goes to drop the POW DD going to a clear last place in the DD stakes.
Moonbeams ….. “where have you been?” asks GM Flasher.
“Driving to Sydney with Chew the rat ?????”
Yes GM !!!!
Circumference jumps the gun on “End of circle” and gets a DD
Moonbeams gives the note.
YELLOW CODE ….. Bent Banana gets “G” in one go.
NEXT WEEK’S RUN … Mad Mike in Mudgeeraba somewhere.
Sir AH offers fresh chillis.
Moonbeams calls …… END OF CIRCLE …. It’s 8.50 pm and it’s raining again.
Botcho for GM campaign moves into higher gear … seems buying votes is now hot on the list….. get in quick while the money lasts.
Rockhard appears to have terminated Caustic as campaign manager something to do with insider trading with bookmakers ??????
PS ….Apologies I’m soooooooooooo late with the words Hashers, been away most of the week on a Marlin Fishing comp and didn’t get the chance to do them before I went.
Sounds like a break-a-way splinter Hash with Basher G.M,Slasher.R.A,Stasher .Hash Cash,Tozza the On-Sex and 2 Dogs ??????
Take up your issue with the Link who has been seen in Broadbeach !!
In further reponse to “lost” runs, and following recent upheld appeals, I’d like to submit that, I, Two Dogs is missing some 40 runs. These being those held at the Numinbah HHH on a weekly basis and now recognised sub branch of the GCHHH!
Please refer the matter to the review committee and advise my lawyers, the well known, fierce and relentless Leach & Leach, of the hopefully favourable outcome.