Hare: Kitchen Bitch
Date: 2nd May, 2011
The last time your trusty on-sex woke feeling like this was after the 2010 AGPU where he was roped into this thankless job.
Took a quick look at the wine rack ……. Hmmmm , 3 bottles of 389 and 4 bottles of Portuguese plonk, then outside to tidy up, the keg is empty too, thank goodness the land cruiser is there to take all this crap away. The place looks amazingly clean and Mrs KB has a palates class before she heads home having absconded before the pack arrived for her sleep-over at her daughter’s place.
Slowly the fog lifts and the antics of last night come drifting back, first and foremost was the amazing job done by Sir AH on the addition to the GCHHH pack formal wardrobe. The top hats provided by your caring hierarchy have been adorned with amazing wit from our minister for loose ends…. WELL DONE!!!!
Then it dawns on me that the dishes are all washed up and the number of helpers in the KB Masterchef kitchen consisted of a small army. Pizza, Croc, Botcho, Sir Prince, Sir AH, Cum Smoke, Jigsaw, Moonbeams, Nasty, Now Loved and even GM Flasher were just a few that flashed through my tired brain cells……..Plate-em up !!!!! Thanks guys!!!
Even the overnight love birds Flasher and Botcho had the mop out trying to get rid of the 3.5 Kgs of grass clippings on Mrs KB’s favourite white tiles before heading off to beddy-byes at midnight…… Thanks again.
Cum-smoke has lived up to his name and any second the Camphor –Lauren trees are certain to burst into flames above the bonfire….. but no complaints.
I must take everything back previously said about the total failure with divine intervention and our R/A’s connections with higher powers …. It’s pissed down for 4 days then out comes the sunshine on Monday morning …….. Then on Tuesday, hail and 50mm of torrential rain make the trail impossible…….. Thanks heaps R/A!!!
Well best try and remember as much as possible and write the trash…. F#@%!!! What did happen????
3.30PM ….. Pizza arrives to set up the (large) keg he has kindly DONATED.
4PM … Sir AH on hat delivery arrives closely followed by Cumagen with the rest of the grog…… first drinks are served.
4.15PM …Flasher and Botcho arrive for their “rule one” sleepover.
4.30 PM ….The majority of the pack has arrived!!!
5.05 PM …. The pack is off on the trek through neighbouring properties and KB hopes the “on back” up the hill traps a few. The walkers take on the hill option over the flat walk and all is running to plan.
5.07 PM … The first willing volunteers in Sir AH, Pizza, Cum Smoke and Now Loved help set up the deck dining area and out come the amazing top hats.
5.45PM … The walkers are back with a few SCB’s and FRB’s.
5.55PM …. Pizza’s free grog is going down well!!!!
6.00PM … Nibbles ….. Pizza pieces and fresh bruschetta with fetta
6.15PM …. More nibbles … KB has unloaded the freezer and the cured Mahi Mahi is a winner!!
6.30PM …. GM calls “Be seated you lot”
6.35PM … Mrs KB’s home-made Pea and Leek soup is served.
6.50PM … Country Bar-B-Q and vegies is next.
7.15PM … KB have you got any spare red wine???? ( that’s where it went) for $10 a bottle … sure try this Portuguese qwaffer!!
7.16PM … Cum Smoke is trying to burn down upper Trees Rd in one hit … the bon fire is lit and “circle in 5 minutes is called” … delay sweets (we’re too full)
7.25PM… The heat around the bon-fire is getting bearable and GM Flasher calls circle.
HARE … KB is called.
(At this point Caustic informs your on-sex that he has forgotten to take notes… On-sex is slightly pissed and says “I’ll wing it” Hmmmmmmmm!!)
RUN Report ….. Sir Slab … Not bad , well marked, worst on-back in Hash history!!! ( YES!!! … it’s worked I have got a few)
NOSH Report…..( Think it was ) Shat …..Raised the bar again KB … very happy!!
Visitors…… Hash Pash GM from Tassie Hash, and four others ( Sorry no notes)
SPECIAL GUEST …. Flown in for the GCHHH Anniversary dinner THE BIG “O” ROY makes a cameo appearance but Hash Cash won’t pay his fee so we get three bars of “ Only the lonely”
The R/A has seen fit to adorn the Papal gown and gear flown in back from the royal wedding for this important occasion …….. The neighbours at this point think the KKK is definitely meeting burning some poor prick at the steak. Charges run thick and fast with Miscarriage in his normal form entertaining all, with the visitors trying to figure just what this lot must be smoking.
The POW Nasty gets his four candidates out and spreads the award around the lot of them …..
The MOST important part of the evening follows ……
GM Flasher and MFLE Sir AH present the milestone awards to the following ….
Caustic Crusader … 100 Runs
Flasher ….. 450 Runs ( Just wanted a jacket)
Now Loved…..500 Runs
Mumbles …..500 Runs.
Missing Link ….. 600 Runs.
Backstump….. 900 Runs.
EXTRA SPECIAL MENTION was made of Sir Rabbit’s amazing 1,400 runs … yes the 1,400th was tonight. ( watch this space)
8.30PM …Moonbeams calls ….. “End of circle”
8. 40 PM ….. Sweets are served … Mrs KB has baked for days her Grandmother’s recipe, Banana and Walnut loaf served with a dash of caramel and ice cream.
9.05PM …. Time for (quite)a few quiet ones in front of the fire.
12 Midnight …. Lovebirds are tucked in, the coppers haven’t been, KB is off to nigh-nigh’s happy that the GCHHH anniversary dinner, awards and top hats appear to have been successful……. Sweet dreams Big Dog!!!
6.45AM …. F#@& my head hurts……
7.15AM …. Flasher and Botcho head down the hill.
10.45AM … Mrs KB is back and cannot see a speck out of place!!!!
PS …. Hope you all enjoyed … I had a ball !!!
Special thanks to girls at No 660 for the access …. Would you believe I only met them 10 days ago, but one ran in a mixed Hash in the UK for a while…..
Hashing wins again !!!