Run 1809

Run 1809
Date : 2nd July 2012
Hare : Rainbow
Venue : Helensvale Tavern, Helensvale
Runners 35

Weeks to next Gold Coast half marathon – 51

A healthy head count was apparent prior to start, was this due to the fact that the word ‘Tavern’ was in the venue title? (highly likely)

The Hare; Rainbow, gave us the usual spiel including a total distance of 5.7 km (my arse it was) up to 7.7 if you took the false trails.

The pack ran through the drive-in of Red Rooter, round the back of Old Helensvale shopping centre, before crossing the highway and onto the car park of the new Helensvale shopping centre. The trail ran cold at the check by the M1 overpass and it was sometime, before on was called in the direction of Pacific Pines.

Alas it was the start of the false trails and of course it prompted a large group to secret themselves until the appearance of Veteran.

Back to the check, another false trail then into the industrial estate before emerging out by the side of the New Helensvale shopping centre, down another false trail to the golf course then along the station by the side of the shopping centre. Had we actually gone anywhere???

The trail led back across the highway and past the venue – note to Hares – if you want at least half of the pack to stop half way, then run the trail past the venue – The hardened runners continued alongside the shopping centre (still) then onto a pathway which ran parallel to Discovery Drive.

I must remember to ring the RSPCA because it sounded as though someone is keeping a grizzly bear in their back garden, change of underwear required.

More false trails, bit of chiggy and parkland. Two Dogs and I split at a check, I found two arrows I assumed as a hard on but they turned out to be the end of a false trail, by the time I reached the next check I had lost the trail, lost interest and was quickly losing the will to live.

Fortunately the bright lights of Helensvale Tavern could be seen in the distance and they beckoned me back home.

Circle was convened quickly and the Hare called out. Rainbow explained he had retired and is about to commence a motor home tour of the country with his better half – Babbling Brook. He was wished well on his travels with a DD

Returning runners – Nasty/Miscarriage/Veteran/Rock Hard were invited out and asked for an update as to their recent whereabouts. Saving us from unnecessary boredom, Moonbeams managed to over-talk them all and move proceedings forwards

Miscarriage scored the run 7/10, complained about the style of arrows and described the highlight as the elation shown by Veteran at the hashers hiding at the on back.

Veteran was given a DD for his work on last year’s hierarchy.

Miscarriage made some unintelligible remarks about extra fabric in his tracksuit

Sir Rabbit, Ferret (proxy for Shredder) and Rectum were brought out for taking part in the Half Marathon, the highlight of which was the young ladies by KFC in mumble pants. This term was explained to Cum Smoke who has obviously had a sheltered upbringing.

DD for Ozzie for his part in the hiding group.

POW to be held over for next week by order of the GM

DD for Josephine ( a popular choice this year) for questioning the number of testicles held by the GM and comparing him to Adolf Hitler.

Correspondence was sent in by Shat, updating us on the trio of globetrotters that are himself, Prince Valiant and Sir Slab (described as a try hard for not hiring an electric bike)

Next weeks run – Latrine @ Dan Murphy’s (to be confirmed)

Circle concluded, Rainbow explained that if two hashers bought drinks at the same time, then one free meal was available if it contained rice, unless one of the drinks was wine then the second meal had to be chicken. (that’s how it sounded to me)

Inside the tavern it was in fact half price meals, which were excellent overall.

Thanks to Rainbow and good luck, you will need it (24hrs a day with a back seat driver!).

I was asked to give mention to the generous gift of hash shirts by Nasty to some of the newer members, on the down side none of them fit, but on the positive side they make excellent drop sheets for large pieces of furniture such as sofas, double beds etc.

Finally, the resident double agent – Cum Smoke – would like you all to be aware that Wednesday night’s mixed hash (you remember the one that calls us gay) is holding a trivia night on Friday at 7pm to celebrate their 1700th run. This means they have clocked up almost 10 kms to date. The venue is NERANG SCOUT HALL as the Versace was booked, prizes are a surprise (for that read non-existent) and Cum Smoke had no idea of the entry fee. To test your mental acuity a couple of examples were provided –

1. Name two colours
2. If a sandwich costs $5 and I give a $10 note to the vendor, how much change will I receive?

Good luck

On On

On Sec
Some of the above may be untrue.

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