Date : 18th March 2013
Hare : Miscarriage
Venue : Surfers Paradise
Weeks to the AGPU – 11. Nominations required
The St Patrick’s Day Run. Not. It wasn’t St Patrick’s Day nor did we run. Was it worth coming out then? You bet your arse (as Cum Smoke does most nights out) it was, good beer, great food and a circle of vaudevillian standards, does it get any better?
Despite numerous penitent hours in the pose of supplication our resident RA (and stand-in G.M.) had failed in the cessation of the volume of precipitation and so, rather reluctantly suggested giving it a miss. Even Mark Webber could beat his recent scorecard. No maybe not. Consequently, after weeks upon weeks of washed out trails, irony struck leaving us with a warm day drier than a nun’s crotch in the Serengeti.
Arriving late, I went straight to the Lansdowne arms where the pack was already paying serious tribute to the Irish saint and from where, I was informed that the trail had left from Budds Beach, crossed the highway and drifted in a straight line to the pub. Sorry that should have read ‘drink stop’.
The pack looked to be in a state of bemusement, some appeared guilty at not having actually done anything physical whereas the remainder seemed relieved at doing nothing physical. Pretty much standard Monday fare then.
No Flasher tonight as he is suffering from man flu, spare him a sympathetic thought, as he is only half size it will be twice as bad.
Once the froth had been blown from a cold one or two, we moved en-mass to the clock hotel; it felt like a splinter lunch at nighttime.
The food – a choice of three mains dishes – were on special, which entailed a complicated system of ordering in twos and dividing the bill. Clearly way too much of a cerebral challenge as four hashers didn’t have to pay anything for their meal, due to the generosity of others.
The rump, chips and veg were fabulous, as Phantom put it “they always taste better when you haven’t paid” He was bang on the money. Sir Slab confirmed the Salmon was just as good.
Duly satiated we left and set off back to Budds Beach for the circle. Miscarriage must have been very tired as he was unable to cross the highway in a straight line and stopped in the middle of the road for several minutes to retrieve a $2 coin. Its not like it’s a busy road.
Opposite chateaux Shat, a nude man was observed in Shat’s kitchen, clearly it wasn’t Shat, he’s never normally standing at this time of night, possibly a ‘dial a threesome guy’.
Kilkenny made his second appearance of the evening thanks to the thoughtfulness of our booze master and the proceedings were captured on an iPhone as Blue Card has pawned the Hash camera. A light shower ensued (was this why we cancelled the athletics?) this prompted Blue Card to urge along the proceedings, as he was ‘wetter than a 23 year old girl with three guys’
The Hare was squeezed out into the circle like a troublesome pimple and so began the Miscarriage show. First in the firing line was Moonbeams, a perennial whinger, who had complained bitterly that a St Patrick’s Day run should not be held in Reedy Creek, causing the Hare to relocate. Where was Moonbeams tonight? As Miscarriage explained “the C#nt didn’t turn up”
Visitor/returner – Piss Poor, a long time missing from our fold but hoping to make the splinter lunch.
DD to Cum Smoke for being at the drink stop before anyone else
Sir Slab was invited to make comment on the recent Cuba trip but showed some reluctance and passed the opportunity to Testicles. Surprising really, if you used the adage ‘loose lips sink ships’ then at a recent circle, Slab sank an armada.
Once he had seen Testicles struggle to get some form of a coherent story out, Slab picked up the super-grass mantle once more informing of a progressively aging rum consumption tale which lead to one hasher giving an unforgettable speech which he doesn’t remember making. Slab refused to name and shame.
However, the evenings’ Ringmaster; Miscarriage relished in revealing the Hasher as his best mate Sir Prince Valiant. DD to Princey.
Rumours that an unknown hasher was seen leaving Sir Slabs room in stockings and a strapless number????
Another Hasher found to bargaining for sexual favours, that will be a DD to Princey again thanks to Miscarriage.
Caustic explained that Missing Link was knocked from his Bike last week by bloke opening a car door (that reminds me I still owe him a carton) a dislocated shoulder and several broken ribs still didn’t stop Link from hitting the pub later in the day.
It also didn’t stop a certain Hasher insisting that Link cut his grass today. Who would stoop to such a level of depravity? Well, Miscarriage pointed the finger at Sir Prince again. DD prince.
POW Veteran decided that the biggest sinner (isn’t that on channel 10) of the week would be the pr*ck, who would have guessed it, Princey out once more with the worst attempt at the yard glass so far this year.
Charges from the floor lead to Miscarriage highlighting two of the free fooders – Sir Rabbit and …………………Yep Sir Prince. DD to both.
Splinter lunch on Friday at the Royal Peacock, Tedder Ave, Main Beach close to where the inaugural lunch (100 meals ago) took place. Will Sir Rabbit be found pissed in a garden again. Who knows, apparently there is a copious quantity of red on the menu.
Next weeks run – Sir AH at Mudgeraba see the web for full details.
From Blackie – don’t forget the trophies for the AGPU and the bike ride has been rearranged for 22 April.
End of Circle by Josephine who is fast approaching his 25th year with our hash.
Thanks to Circumference for the organization of a very enjoyable evening.
Hang On a Sec
Don’t believe a word of it.
Trinity Hash Hash AGPU run of the year goes to Goatfarker. He brought the Gold Coast Gourmet Hash style to the far north!!