Date : 27th May 2013
Hare : Committee AGPU
Venue : Bruce Bishop car park, Watermark bar and Darcy Arms
Runners A good 40
Weeks to being back on the committee – 208
Boy I have waited for this for some time. It was worth the wait.
A five o’clock start heralded the commencement of the final run of the 2012-2013 committee. Arriving a tad late Caustic, Cum Smoke and myself observed a very healthy turn out partaking in the obligatory nibbles and quality beers. As a member of the outgoing committee it was fabulous to see the fake smiles plastered over some very worried faces. Even better than that was the look of complete certainty exhibited by several, convinced within their own minds, that they would not be required to perform next year. Yeah right.
VD questioned if the email sent out by Croc earlier in the week was correct or not whilst attempting to convince himself that no one would select a committee member who would be away for the next six months. Don’t believe it, you were remarkably close to selection.
Living on the promise of a warm fleece for my run achievements I stood and shivered as Sir Rabbit explained that would occur later.
After much backslapping and self congratulations (gee we are a humble lot) the next stage of our journey was contemplated then delayed as we awaited the arrival of Sir Prince Valliant and Miscarriage. The former arrived and we departed, the latter arrived minutes after our leaving, checked in the Irish pubs and, as he left his mobile at work, ended up with a fish and chips supper for one.
The rest of us ambled to Watermark for a single beer, which once consumed instigated the cries of “more beer”, not wearing the extra cost Blackie quickly shut the bar down and we were ushered to our final destination – The Darcy Arms or ‘the head office’ as several of our fold fondly refer to it.
Half of us dived to the bar for either Guinness or Kilkenny the rest hit the tables for a variety of good quality reds. The committee smugly sat at the ‘top table’ clearly happy with the overwhelming acceptance of the venue and booze, by the pack. For the last time, You’re Welcome.
Montana assisted in the presentation of some quality shorts with an innovative approach to handing them out.
A tasty bruschetta was served and the awards commenced whilst we awaited the delivery of the mains.
Worst run – Cum Smoke at Broady (the try to avoid, map debarcle), runners up Latrine (bus run) and Caustic (the no run wash out).
Best run – Josephine (parkwood at its best), runners up Truck Tyres (Burleigh boardwalks) Botcho (Helensvale bush).
Worst Food – Pizza (hot plate pantry surprise), runners up Swollen Colon (gruel and mushy pasta) Flasher (Helensvale food with the flavour removed).
Best Food – Kitchen Bitch (roast lamb at its best), runners up Truck Tyres (noodle soup) Botcho (all his food is good).
On reviewing the runs and food it was genuinely difficult to find three poor runs and food, the standard this year has been excellent, especially the food; which on many occasions has bettered that served on splinter lunches by professional caterers.
Most number of runs – Sir Rabbit (you really need a life)
Best committeeman – Rectum (try-hard).
By now some seriously HUGE steaks served with chips and salad had arrived on the scene so it was hard to maintain anyone’s attention. The fighting irons (knives and forks to you non northerners) were picked up and the delicious sauces were poured. Quiet resumed.
You know the steaks are big when a large number of plates were collected by the waitresses, still loaded with food.
The awards continued –
Prick of the Year was a complete walk over for a thousand reasons; runners up were not required as Flasher hoisted the honour. Well deserved.
Those responsible for milestones were recognized with long sleeved fleeces (bit late I was roasting hot by then).
1500 – Sir Rabbit
1300 – Sir Slab
800 – Josephine
500 – Flasher
200 – Crocodile
200 – Cum Smoke
100 – Rectum
100 – Veteran
100 – Shat
Finally the best bit arrived with the selection of the new committee
Trail Master – Ferret (seemed very excited)
Booze Masters – Show Pony (usual bemused expression)
Iceman (worried expression)
Hash Cash – Black Stump (volunteered 2nd term)
Hash Flash – Kwakka (volunteered 2nd term)
RA – Miscarriage (lost in Surfers)
On Sec – Blue Card (utter disbelief)
GM – Now Loved (in denial)
The new committee were welcomed in and the old, told to piss off.
Good luck to you all, I hope you enjoy it as much as we have this year.
Thanks to all those who put in the effort to attend, run, cook, assist with the cooking, set a trail, tell a joke or contribute in some way or another.
Ex On a Sec on behalf of Blue Card (still recovering from the shock)
Another tissue of lies.
What a great night as usual.
Thanks for a fantastic year, I really enjoyed it but looking forward to sitting down and enjoying myself and letting some other bastard do all the work.
PS I am still available for Booze Master Wine Testing events
AGPU – From my jaded memory, Sir Prince was the main runner up for Best Nosh. Swindler is worth a mention also, but he was too late – the trophies were already engraved.
Also thanks to Sir Rabbit for his music selection on the night.