Well, as I write this I cannot help but feel like the proverbial Cheshire Cat, you know the one who gobbled all of the double cream, remembering another fantastic night of great hashing comradeship and….yes!!….superb tucker, no, (sorry!!!) food!!… If ever there was doubt in the past, there shouldn’t be any more: the gourmet is definitely back in the Hash…Sir AH delivered in absolute spades and then some. You are a hash genius mate, a stalwart worth his weight in gold. And that’s a helluva lot of gold….not that I’m having a go ‘bout your weight ole son, heaven forbid no. As for restoring our faith in our moniker “the gourmet hash” you did us proud. Thanks mate, we are so bloody grateful!
And lovely to see all them faces that don’t cum much, great to see you here fellas, really great! Trust the knee’s better Dicky Knee and oh, I almost forgot welcome back Iceman, we’ve missed you enormously!
The pack of hardy hashers looked the most excited I have ever seen them tonight, anticipating another ‘ripper’ from one of Hash’s greatest members. He certainly didn’t disappoint, telling the pack that: ”There’s something for everyone here. There’s bush if you want it or road if you prefer or other stuff if that’s what tickles your fantasy. You’ll get outta this as much as you are willing to put into it… Josephine gasped in horror: “Oh no, this is a f’*cking disaster, I don’t make any effort in whatever I do”. Poor Josephine. Now Loved (I think) put his arms around him and gave him a lovely man hug, which Josephine appreciated enormously.
We all set off at a great rate of knots. Blokes who hadn’t being seen running in many years were seen doing so tonight. Well done fellas, great effort and keep it up. The back streets of Mudgeeraba soon turned into bush and the enthusiasm in the pack lifted another notch (if that could be possible). Torches flashed aplenty and many of the hashers decided to voice their pleasure by regularly yelling On! On! After about 500 metres, yours truly, who had started off with all good intentions of doing the whole run, started to get a little bit tired and so decided that I would bludge instead. The nail in my hash coffin was that humungous fence which, try as I might to squeeze underneath it (I’m too bloody fat let’s face it) or to scramble over it (too bloody high), I gave up and went back to the eski. I have no idea where all the others went, but I certainly did my very best and then promptly gave up.
As luck would have it, it seems that I wasn’t the only one who’d hoisted the white flag. Botcho and Co all had similar sentiments and had returned to base even before me (it made me feel so good that I wasn’t the laziest bugger in the pack). That HUGE fence was the topic of much complaint. Said Moonbeams: “I felt so good tonight, I was ready to do the whole run………. but for that HUGE fence, I reckon I would’ve too!
As those of us lazy bastards sat imbibing alcohol, the “serious” runners started to stream in, obviously having had a wonderful workout. There were no complaints only high fives and high praise that this was a fantastic run through virgin country blah blah blah. As always some hashers got lost (Can’t remember who exactly but I do believe Truck Tyres -doesn’t he always? Ha! Ha! Ha!) Others got lost too but sheepishly, they agreed that if they’d stayed on trail they probably wouldn’t have. Ha, ha, ha you silly Billys!!!
Apparently, the ever competitive Miss Carriage almost did himself a disastrous injury when trying to overtake some of the slower runners, yelling “extremely serious runner coming through!” as he pushed and shoved his way through….not noticing a smallish (one foot high) tree stump sticking out of the ground…lucky the cruets were not about two inches lower as he might have really bashed ‘em hard…as it was it appears that there was just sufficient clearance for no real harm to be done. Well done mate!
Weekly did the whole run and, in the circle, described it as “well marked…a good street run”.
Starters …haha…we were being tricked into thinking tonight was going to be just ordinary dips and crackers but good ole Sir AH had another magnificent surprise for us: loads and loads of great tasting bits and pieces which the Hash just could not get enough of. Show Pony who loves nothing better than a big scoff stopped at 5 helpings: “I better leave a bit of room for mains and dessert otherwise I’ll make a bloody pig of meself” he said in all seriousness.
Mains was just as great: lashing of meats and beautifully cooked veges with copious amount of the most delicious gravy imaginable. Blokes who had never cooked anything bar a boiled were all scrambling for the recipe. I made a real guts of myself having 3 plates full. Mmmm, so nice!
I didn’t think I could eat dessert but I did and what a great decision it was too; I doubt that I’ve had a better dessert in all my hash life and combined with the most delicious cream and ice cream it was finger licking great! Come to think of it, if we plonked a pair of black framed glasses on his nose, you would all agree that there’s an uncanny resemblance between Sir AH and the Colonel. Maybe they are twin who knows?
In all, a bloody brilliant nosh and we were all very pleased with it… Congratulations Sir ArseHole for keeping up the standards of the Gourmet Hash!!!
The GM started proceedings with his usual requests for critiques of the nosh and the run. If you’ve read this far, you will have read the relevant comments above, so no need to repeat them here, but suffice to say that the hare, Sir ArseHole, came out for a well deserved down down on a great night.
Caustic and Blue Card were called out the front for a coupla downs. Not quite sure why, but highly deserved nonetheless.
Sir Slab was also called for a down to wild cheers: “His being doing it each and every week, he deserves a down each and every week” said Sir Rabbit.
Ferrett got a down but no-one quite knew why, particularly him. Still, in typical hash spirit, he took it like a man.
Miss Carriage did it again. Seeing that no-one would nominate him for a down, he self- nominated for “pulling funny faces at the hash camera”. Many on the hash reckon that it saves him buying from the bucket…
Prick of the Week….Sir Blackstump didn’t bring it tonight…. since he didn’t bring hisself.
Iceman told a joke but no-one listened to him, poor Iceman. Welcome back mate, I listened even if no-one else did…..ungrateful so and sos.
Next week’s run…hare will be the GM hisself at Miami. Bring boardies and gundga. Which reminds me, I wont be here next week so…can I please request the OnSec back to do the words….please!!
Finally, a reminder, if you could all please start bringing in your $25 for the AGPU…and if you are one of the ones who has not done the requisite ten runs…it’s $50.
That’s all for this week folks
Chummy Farmer …
(Volunteer) On Sec.
But it’s not even a good story…
Well why let the truth stand in the way of a good story. What a new innovation !! Run report by Proxy.