Hare:Rug & Krit
The venue chosen by ex-GM Rug, (who rushed back from casting his vote in the Brexit poll) was Scooterworld, at Molendinar not quite up there with the other GC theme parks but for the free admission price it was definitely value for money on the night as everyone had a wheely good time. The fallout from the Brexit conscious uncoupling bombshell result was the talking point among many hashers discussions concerned about their own dwindling wealth as they awaited the start of the evenings events. It was rumoured that one hasher has even planned his own Medexit strategy where he will do a Chris Skase relocation and find himself a sunny villa in a Mediterranean country. An even stronger rumour which may eventuate into a trumour was another hasher currently in the final stages of his Sexit relocation to the oriental Far South East.
Instructions on the run /walk were given by the hare and soon most were out and about searching for a trail. Dicky Knee and Swindler stayed behind as couple of troopers and were dubbed the Keg Minders. Rug and Kret were sighted regularly on the trails which would behind the factories, through a park near the river and back to suburbia where the walker’s trail was lost near the main drag heading to Nerang. A couple of the knights Two Dogs and Botcho lead the pack home. Not far behind were BB and Flasher, shirtless as usual due to the extreme heat his body seems to experience even on the coldest evening of the year.
As Ice Man was sighted by the lost pack of walkers which included the GM, Sir Slab, M’Latrine, Slug and Brutus, it was quickly agreed to follow him home. On arrival, it was noted that many of the cycling Warriors were already eyeing off upgrades to the motorised scooters as they head towards their twilight years. God help us, after they get on the piss on those things after a splinter lunch. Sir Slab apparently road tested all the scooters which had various wheel configurations and attachments including one with a built in shitter and colostomy bag attachments ready for any sudden follow through accidents from a dodgy curry nosh.
The nosh started with home made dips of homus and real tasting salmon before mains of warm mince and pasta served street café dining style. Those with pre-booked seating reservations enjoyed their comfortable scooter chairs. A desert of pears,cream and chocolate followed.
In light of the unique seating arrangements the GM decided to road test what could be an insight into circles of the future, with hashers seated in their motorised scooters.
The GM opened proceedings with a warm welcome to Boris( our new totem pole circle figurehead), a replacement for the poor old chook who got blown away by Swollen Colon the previous week. The hares were called out and Missing Link remarked it was well marked and the hare was regularly sighted by all who like their safety blankets on runs to avoid debacles. M’Latrine enjoyed the walk as there were no hills or shaggy. Sir AH said it was a very good nosh. All up a ranking of 8. The POW was moved forwarded by the GM who while looking at Rug in full prick attire enquired who actually had it. A shocked Rug stepped forward and suddenly the GM become a popular choice by all. However Rug had other ideas and nominees included Hard On (who he described as still my “good friend” ?),Circumference for getting back into employment on the AEC gravy train but the winner was Slug for heading towards Nerang after loosing the trail.
The RA stepped up and immediately called out any ex-pat 10 pound Poms, so soon we had Flasher, Iceman, Rug, Sir AH, Kret and even the GM in the circle. They were quickly given the title of the Brexit Barstards for guilt by association after the UK was stripped of its AAA credit rating and now have a plunging pound. Our resident Spaniard, Fanny Charm, on behalf of the other EU member countries gave them a note and told the to basically just piss off ASAP as about 25% of their relatives were even too lazy to get off their arses and cast a vote. And just to top off their week and give them to no time to lick into wounds after their PM pulled the plug, Iceland has continued the nightmare by knocking the Pommies out of the European soccer tournament,again plunging the value off anything slightly associated with the UK over the last few days.. A country which now has to hire Australian coaches to beat us at football and cricket after they invented the games.
Continuing the Brit bashing , next up in the circle was Top Gear’s Jeremy Clarkson aka M’Latrine lookalike for failing to carry any ID on the bus out to hash in case he got busted as a fare evader. That prompted Sir PV who had set himself as stand-in Hash Cash in his own treasury office at the rear of the premises to step forward to tell it like it was concerning the behaviour of M’Latrine and Bali’s Interhash. It all started mid-air on the Jetstar flight from Townsville to Denpasar with M’Latrine in seat 23C and Sir PV in seat 42F. An offer was made to Sir PV to join M’Latrine him up in business class where he said he had arranged for budget airline Jetstar to provide free quality wines and spirits for the whole flight. As this was Jetstar not Emirates, it all sounded a bit sus to Sir PV and before long a red wine soaked M’Latrine was wondering around the cabin and dead bottles of red wine were rolling down the aisles. Soon a message from the captain on flight deck advised that anyone caught consuming duty free alcohol would be asked to leave mid flight and would not necessarily be going all the way to Denpasar. Somehow another hasher who goes by the name of Two Fingers got fingered for the
fiasco and M’Latrine filed an official complaint about the disruption to his flight by some drunken behaviour.
The adventures of Sir Les Latrine’s Bali tour continued at Interhash where on the Sunday morning, Sir PV again encountered M’ Latrine who was sighted moving at the speed of a crab with arthritis after the events of the previous day. This time as he was felling unwell, lay down and rested his head and in an unconscious state knocked over a scooter which dominoed over several others until one sunk in the drink. M’Latrine then paid out the owner about $20 to get out of that mess.
So ended those stories about M’Latrine who had one about Swindler who living up to his name as he conned some Paki hasher named Halfcock to become his bitch and get him the best seats and beers each night at the hash venue.
A toilet seat which allegedly smelt like some hasher’s wife (the evidence was taken from some sort of DNA data base kept by one of our deviant members who has been known to sniff bike seats after the Anzac day hash bike rides) was paraded by the RA and Sir Blackie apparently was king hit by a cyclist while on secret marathon training near the Broadwater. Somehow Toad got a mention in his absence as he has heard about a hasher by the name of Love Anal which apparently has got his curiousity aroused.
In the absence of Moonbeams , his proxy, Josephine, closed the circle of RPR2.
Yours in hashing