Hare: VD & Caustic Crusader
Tonight’s run description comes to you from Fanny Charmer as your regular scribe, Circumference, is otherwise engaged, watching the NRL clash between the Titans and the Cronulla Sharks, in what I believe was the Titans bringing the Sharks’ 16 game winning streak to an end…hope you enjoyed the game Circumference!
We gathered at that old favorite location, Scottsdale Reserve, on the corner of Scottsdale Drive and Prospect Court, Robina…very conveniently located across the road from the Dog and Parrot Tavern. As on the previous occasion that I can recollect, of course the oval was soon filled by Monday night footie training participants, meaning that the car park and surrounding streets were highly congested with cars. Luckily we hashers got an earlier start than the other 10 groups of people so we scored all the prime carparking spots…stuff ‘em! They’re all younger than us so they can walk further back to their cars!!
Tonight’s run was brought to you by VD and Caustic, and I do believe that VD was the one responsible for the nosh and Caustic for setting the actual run.
The run was apparently a nice combination of street, path and bush and of approximately 7 km in length, but I wouldn’t really know, as like many of tonight’s eager hashers, I decided that I would limit myself to a brisk walk. I was accompanied by several senior hashers including Sir Rabbit and our esteemed hierarchy members, the GM and our RA.
I felt safe in the company of these learned gents, but it certainly didn’t prevent us from getting hopelessly lost and having to rely on yours truly’s GPS on his phone to find our way back to the start. In all, a nice walk of approximately 5 km, so not too shabby at all.
Our initially quite large walking group soon started to peter out and became a very few of us as many peeled off at various spots and made a quick getaway back to the start, obviously aware that unless they did this they would miss out on the entrees.
I believe that there was an entrée of some description, but having religiously followed the entire walking path and getting lost, those of us who were at the “back of the pack” missed out entirely on that one!
The mains was curried sausages with steamed rice…and many Hashers making comments like “gee, this is just like back in the army days” and “last time I had this was in the queue at the Rosie’s van”. My favorite comment tonight though, delivered in his typical laconic fashion, came from Fullershit….”I don’t normally like sausages, and this is no exception!”.
Well, for my part, I thought it was bloody great…the right mix of spices, copious amounts of veges and the sausage was obviously of prime quality. There were three substantial pots of this curry, so many of us went back for seconds, thirds and in several cases of extreme gluttony, fourths!! JJ…No wonder I only felt like having a small apple for breakfast the next morning!!
Sweets was…well….different, but lovingly hand made!! We had these funny little pastry cups with custard poured into them and fresh berries sprinkled on top. Very delicious if a bit messy to eat…many of us were paranoid about getting any of it onto our “pigs in the trough” jackets we were wearing.
I must throw in a word of thankyou on behalf of all of us…Bent Banana and Flasher have really stepped up to the plate in keeping us well lubricated on Monday nights…
The circle was opened by the GM….who then immediately broke with protocol and handed proceedings over the RA, who then proceeded to tell the tale of how he and Swindler encountered a fortune teller and they will both be assisting their fellow Hashers to have a comfortable retirement when they both make their fortunes in 2019!
Back to the GM…and…..next out the front were Caustic and VD as the hares for tonight…and welcome back Caustic, who says he’s been away from Hash for so long now that he’s been re-named “Mr Pleasant”!!…hahahaha…excuse me while I roll around the floor laughing…Mr Pleasant??….hahahaha!!
Next was a presentation of some cold, hard folding stuff to Truckie (welcome back from the Dordoyne region of France, by the way) as promised to him by the previous Hash Hierarchy for his selfless devotion to towing the trailer and backing into a bollard.
Truckie was then dragged out the front with two other returning runners, Kitchen Bitch and Mickypaedia…the latter being a member of the premier cycling troupe, the Warriors. Nice to see you off your bike seat and out of your racing thongs and pounding the streets with us for a change. Oh, and next time bring your fucking hash gear Mickypaedia or you’ll keep getting double down-downs for being out of uniform!!
Over to the RA….poor Kitchen Bitch gets dragged out the front again and apologises profusely for not being here but he’s been too busy selling prestige cars of a particular brand to unsuspecting fools with too much money to worry about spending time with his mates!
Next out to cop some punishment….Sir Two Dogs, Sir Botcho and Miscarriage….justifiably castigated for gobbling down all the entrees before the rest of us got back and could have any.
Caustic was then called back out and recounted the story of his house being raided by about 8 burly coppers from the Rapid Response Team…seems he was mistaken for being a native New Zealander (as described by the coppers) involved in an armed robbery.
Rug came out the front and told a bad joke (again!) and informed us that he is travelling to Europe and will be back just in time for the Halloween run in the tunnel at the end of October.
Iceman out the front next to explain about his magical treatment on his knee (PRP or something like that)….this is starting to sound like the queue for the triage nurse at the University Hospital!
Truckie then came out the front (yawn, yawn…yet again) wondering where we had all gotten our new red or blue Hash bags…he’s forgotten that he got given one at the AGPU…oh dear….this IS getting worse, isn’t it?
Last but not least…Brewtus….once again, yes, for the SECOND time, he has forgotten to bring the Prick of the Week award to Hash…this time with some lame excuse that his wife wouldn’t let him have it…needless to say this elicited some lewd commentary on why she might not be letting him have it…perhaps he doesn’t …ummm…measure up????
On that note, end of circle and time to roar up the highway back in time for Q&A….I hope you don’t think I am too much of a hoon Sir Two Dogs (who saw me roar off at a set of lights)…I just like to give it a bit of the boot occasionally…releases all my pent-up frustrationsJ
Fanny Charmer …
Stand in for the On Sec.