Location: Chirn Park
Hare: Sir Rabbit & Josephine
There’s always a first in hash, and this 138th birthday party was a first for most of us as we celebrated Sirs Botcho and Rabbi’t s birthday. Prior to attending, I tried the local $2 Reject Shop to buy some candles for the birthday cakes. When the female shop assistant asked – What age birthday ? and I replied – 138, she nearly fell over. JC, she said, is it for a male or female, as we have blue and pink candles. I said – Blue, as it will match his tablets that he takes to harden up. She roared laughing and said – there’s hope for me at last, if there’s old boys out there still getting it up at that age.
The entertainment had already begun as the pack assembled inside the BarNGrill. George Thoroughgood and Bruce Springsteen were belting out a few hits on the screen and a few hashers looked readt to party first without the exercise component. Anyhow, Josephine got everyone out the front for instructions and soon it was on west towards the cricket club, then the dog park,Sharks AFL,the hockey club, ALDI in a clever use of all the concrete paths that entwine those suburbs which is handy for hash runs and finding your way home when pissed from any of the various watering holes. Near ALDI, Flasher or JC, another of his alias’ tried a bit of imitation of that more well known JC, famous for cross carrying, picked up an ironing board and carried it through the back streets like a thief in the night. Upon his return he dumped it on Sir Rabbit’s deck where it was discovered by a not so happy Dame(Mrs) Rabbit next morning .
The thirsty hashers where soon hooking into the birthday beers and wines provided by the generous birthday boys. A mountain of corn chips and some home made avocado/fried beans based dips were welcome additions to the serving table. Before long , Sir Two Dogs wandered out with a plate full of chilli con carne soft tortillas and announced that the mains were being served. The caring hare had even gone to the trouble of preparing a non-chilli version of the nosh for Dicky Knee so as not to upset his bowel movements.
A lot of hard yakka had obviously gone into the preparation of both courses as they were as good as Mexican food you would get anywhere on the GC. In all honesty after doing 30 farts and 3 shits next morning, how could I not say that was not high quality nosh.
J-Lo was strutting her stuff on the big screen in between some family snaps of the Rabbits and the Botchos’ this has been your life over the last combined 138 years. It wasn’t long before Sir AH presented the birthday cakes, candle blowing and singing began to celebrate the special event. More entertainment soon had a few heads turned to the big screen when nubile nymphs began performing cunning stunts with the occasional flash of vice versa thrown in as well.
The GM called an inner circle of old farts, sorry septuagenarians, and told the rest of the pack to leave the warren and go out to the deck. This act of discrimination resulted in 20 in the secret men men’s business circle inside and 14 outside. Anyhow Sir Botcho emerged unscathed from the initiation ceremony which the 14 others will have to wait and see happens when they all turn 70 down the track. A full circle of all 34 attendees was then commenced and the hare, Josephine, and birthday boys were soon enjoying down downs. It wasn’t long until Jigsaw emerged and told that although all had enjoyed his complimentary birthday Coronas at the previous week’s run, he had been overlooked in recognition during that circle. The GM quickly sorted that out and a third birthday was celebrated.
RA Shat then took centre stage and out came Miscarriage for the previous week’s misadventure at Gilston, which although Shat had not attended, he had enough about it from hash intel, to declare it was worthy of a down down for some of the logistical hiccups hashers had to endure on the mountain goat territory night.Next in came Truck Tyres, known always keen to help out a damsel in distress. Apparently he was seconded by harriette Sex on Legs to move her white goods and somehow put a hole in her (ice) box when acting as a removalist. In the circle,Truckie told us a story about how as he didn’t hear Caustic Crusaders’ “Toot Toot”, he missed getting a lift and ended up driving himself to the evening’s birthday bash.
It wasn’t long before the Northern Alliance were all up for a joint down for leaving Miscarriage’s previous week’s Gilston run early. Following on from that,
Miscarriage seized upon the opportunity to award Josephine POW for leaving early and as a result he didn’t close the circle. This looked like a bit of the rough end of the pineapple call as it was Circumference, noticing Moonbeams was attendance to close the circle, who had made the suggestion during dessert to the Northern Alliance – do we want to get home Monday night or Tuesday morning ? As Josephine couldn’t get home any other way, because the last Gilston-Parkwood bus service had finished for the evening, he had no choice but to leave as he didn’t fancy the walk home. So Circumference ended up with the POW rather than the well and truly stitched up Josephine.
Moonbeams closed the circle to RPR 15.
A Nasty story has emerged about a woman who burnt her feet during a hot coals fire walk at Tony Robbin’s “Unleash the Power” show in Sydney.
Her feet injuries were so bad she had to be hospitalised. The motivational speaker claimed that participants could turn their fear into power by walking across hot coals which can reach temperatures upwards of 1000C. He claimed that once you start doing the impossible(or at least what you thought was impossible), you can conquer the other fires of your life with ease. For the sucker believers wishing to participate in this type of event, it cost them a not so cool $5000 to get burnt at the seminar. Apparently this is not the first time this motivational exercise has inflicted injury onto participants. During June, 30 were burnt in Dallas, with 5 of them hospitalised.
For any hasher adrenalin junkies contemplating this type of BS stunt, there is a cheaper FREE version of this torture available to all in the middle of every Australian summer,by walking barefoot on bitumen or on the sand at the beach for long enough. Don’t forget the sunscreen as you wouldn’t want to get sunburnt as well, while you having a crack at it.
Apparently Swindler is working on some sort of similar innovative walk for hashers in the circle, using ice. Weekly, you could be first up after your ice acrobatics a couple of weeks ago. Stay tuned for this, some time down the track, as summer kicks in.
HOW’S THIS FOR A WEDDING INVITATION RSVP FARKKUP
Guests were asked to advise of their RSVP attendance intentions and their meal preference
…………………Beef………………………Pork………………………..Child (under 12 years)
Maybe it was a cannibal wedding ?
Genuine vegans were pretty well excluded, although there are a few practising clayton’s vegans out there who consider themselves vegans on the logic that cows eat grass and they eat cows.
WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT
There is something new trending and it’s the CLAP. Considered socially unacceptable for centuries, it is back bigger than ever and its from the national capital of all places. A place considered only for the home for politicians, a bit of stray rooting from time to time and production of pornography. Yes, that’s right , this strain is called the VIKING CLAP and there’s an outbreak in CANBERRA.
In recent weeks, the CANBERRA RAIDERS NRL team have been cheered onto the field by all their full blown supporters with that particular CLAP. And it doesn’t go away in a hurry, in fact it lasts the whole of winter and this year it is particularly strong. Visiting teams have been warned how quickly it can blow you off the park and a particular hooker is one of the main reasons for the damage. Also when the 6 and 9 combine and form the 69, it can also be transferred via the ball(s).
There’s fair chance, it may find itself in Melbourne in Sydney in forthcoming weeks. Early symptoms are slime green in colour.
HERE’S A FEW JOKES FOUND ON THE BACK OF FERRET’S MENUS AT HIS RECENT RUN (Sorry about this)
The girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I had never met herbivore.
How does Moses make his tea ? Hebrews it.
All the toilets have been stolen in New York police precincts. At this stage the police have nothing to go on.
PMS jokes are not funny ………….. Period
There was bloke who used to be a banker until he lost interest. He got a job at a bakery as he kneaded the dough.
A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy !
And finally Ferret’s favourite – I didn’t like my beard at first, then it grew on me.
Yours in hashing