Okotober Fest

Run 2031…Hares: Hierarchy

Run 2031


Location: Robina

Hare: Hierarchy


Hares are regularly asked when they are doing a run recce or setting a run – What are you doing, mister ? or the more confronting – Get the fuck off my property or I will set the dogs onto you or I will get the shotgun out. Last Monday afternoon was certainly different experience for me while setting the run. Over near C Bus Stadium , some bloke covered in tatts in a black sports car pulled up and asked me – Are you the SEA FM Fugitive ? I replied – Not as far as I know, but I am Circumference from Gold Coast Hash. To which, he just took off. I wonder what the fuck that was all about, I thought. Anyhow as I continued marking the trail, I finally got to the cricket club and two young females asked me the same question about the SEA FM Fugitive. I asked – what’s this all about ? They advised that there was a $5000 bounty for locating the SEA FM Fugitive and the clue was – a ball and grass stains. To these few clues, the radio station had listeners visiting every park form Coolangatta to Coomera looking for the Fugitive. This went on for hours and I had some quite hot little female bodies cruising up in their wheels, having a quick chat to me in their quest to locate the Fugitive and jag the $5 grand. After that procession finished the MILF’s started walking their poodles around the cricket oval. Next up was enterprising young Ben flogging off his plants to raise funds for his deposit on a new BMX bike.Several generous hashers made some purchases with the GM digging the deepest into his wallet before thinking about how much digging he had ahead of him to plant them.

Finally the run and walk were off after the dining set-up logistics were finished. The pack followed the lake around towards the Robina township precinct , towards the railway station, over to C Bus stadium, around the hospital, through the bus station, and back to the cricket club. The walkers who were back first , were settling into their Octoberfest beer consumption mood when the German beers were located in the big esky. A sound track of German music classics fired up in the background with Josephine hanging out waiting to hear the Chicken Dance song, but alas he had missed it while he was still on the run . so he had to settle for the next song from the Beach Boys Tour of Germany album.

The kitchen crew of KB, Sir AH and Truck Tyres soon had the dips and crackers out for entrees. Many hashers had changed into their German clobber including some Nazi look a likes and some Bavarian boys brigade outfits. One big Nazi/SS officer made a smashing entry as he belted his leaden truncheon onto a table from the trailer. As a result, he left a fair sized indelible dent in the table for all to see. A couple of hashers, knowing I was the current POW, then asked me if I had witnessed that , to which I replied to in the affirmative.

The appetites of the now well lubricated hashers were coming to the boil as the mains were served. Lots of sauerkraut, onions, bacon and big thick sausages were served in fresh bread rolls. The red wine was also appearing on the tables. Those still hungry hooked into the strudles and ice-cream for dessert. Others had another German beer for their dessert.

The GM called it was time to load up the trailer in readiness for the circle. The ever alert Missing Link noticed a table was missing from the inventory and I quickly assured him, it would be available after the circle. As the hare, I was pleased to hear Josephine enjoyed the run as he said it kept Flasher on trail which is normally pretty hard and the involvement of the hare on the run., He compared it to – sometimes it’s like rounding up cats. Asian visitor, Mental, was next up and he told of his hash adventures and his club’s upcoming 1700th run. Sir Prince normally has a bit of dirt on Miscarriage and sure enough, he told the circle about his mate nearly burning down half of Gilston last Saturday when a regulated burn off turned into a bushfire. I know it was all true, as I could see all this smoke on the mountains from my drinking spot on the deck of Rainbow Beach Surf Club at Snapper Rocks. In the absence of Miscarriage, Dicky Knee , his proxy look a like (?) , took a big swallow for him.

RA Shat then remarked that he had to broach the next topic a bit like the plebiscite, a touchy stepping on egg shells matter. He called for the table and for the record asked it to be identified as Exhibit A. With the spade work done and the exhibit on display in front of the jury, the current POW, stepped out in full regalia and spoke how hash trailer property needs to be looked after by all as a lot of generous donors and hash dollars are tied up in those assets. He then pointed to the dent made by the Big Nazi/SS officer.
Under that army clobber, was none other than our GM. Shit, is this going to create a drama giving him the POW , thought many in the circle ?. Anyhow in true hashing democratic tradition, it went to a vote and in an unanimous vote, the GM became the POW. Sir PV was quick off the mark with a note which the circle sang heartily.
Moonbeams closed the circle to RPR 16, in a German styl spiel.


A Lucky Prick

A Vietnamese man is recovering from a penis reattachment after the husband of his mistress allegedly sliced off his genitalia.
Dr Dong of Bac Giang General Hospital said – The patient’s condition is stable , however it will take some days to learn if the function returns to the victim’s genitalia.The hatchet man,Nguyen Van Huen began stalking his wife after suspecting that she was having an affair. He allegedly caught her at a hotel where he allegedly chopped off the man’s penis and then threw it away.

The penis was found 200 metres away after an extensive two hour search for the missing genitalia after the victim’s relatives convinced Huan to reveal its location.
The victim, obviously became quite worried during the two hour search as his reply to being asked would he miss it, if it wasn’t found.
Of course I will – was his reply.

It reminds me of another story about a girl working in a busy takeaway years ago who used to write the customer’s name down on the order and call it out when it was ready. One evening, in sheer desperation of waiting for a customer to return for his order she screamed out – Has anyone seen Mike Hunt ? Bemused customers were not sure whether it was also a case of missing genitalia or as was it the couple of blokes, standing outside, pissing themselves laughing, playing a prank on her.


From Wikipedia – In April 2013, elected politicians from 9 different political parties voted to change the Marriage Act in the NZ parliament. There was no need to outsource the job to every New Zealand household for comment. Since then over 25% of the marriages for same sex folk have been Australia couples who took a three hour flight across the ditch to get hitched.

Prior to last Australian General Election, the government was quite up front that a plebiscite would be held some time during the life of the next parliament, should the government be returned. What the government was not so up front with was how close it would follow on from the election,the Census and how much it would cost.

On 2 July 2016, Australia voted and the government was returned. The 11 February 2017, is the date, the government has suggested that Australians participate in a survey about marriage. The issue to be surveyed on has been around since 1980 and there have been 24 attempts to table bills on it in the Australian Parliament since then to date. Since 1980 there have been 10 Australian PM’s, 13 General Elections and 8 Census. Another General election is due in 2019 and another Census in 2021.
Recently there was another opportunity to survey Australians on the subject on 9 August 2016 during the GASH (Great Australian Survey of Households) or as the government calls it, the more political correct, the Census. In that survey, the ABS already asked Australians about marriage, divorce, remarried, single etc. One more question on the census form could have saved Australians millions of dollars.

Thirty-three (33) weeks is the time between July 2016 and February 2017 and the cost is anticipated to be about $170 million, including to explain Yes and No arguments, which is not exactly rocket science,when another piece of paper in July 2016 or another Census question could have saved the next required event and Australian tax payers money. In hash time terms, that’s just over half the life of a hash committee.

The government also talks about budget repair but we still borrowing billions of dollars, so we can send more foreign aid offshore.It’s a bit like things being tight in the family budget and the Salvos come knocking on your door, but as you want to be seen to do the right thing you go and borrow $50 off your neighbour to give the Sallies.
However when you see what is happening in the rest of the world with displaced people, whose homes have been bombed to smithereens and now resemble Deen Bros demolition sites. wondering around the planet and even drowning at sea, maybe it is better drowning in a sea of debt than drowning at sea, full stop.

Maybe there’s no better time to be an Australian and realise how lucky and great it is that we all live in The Lucky Country, where our politicians throw tax payer’s money around like drunken sailors.

Yours in hashing


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