Location: Varsity Lakes
Hare: Now Loved
When hashers are aware they are heading into the Robina/Varsity Lakes area for a run, there is always apprehension. As these suburbs roads and paths are circular not rectangular, at soon as it dark, it is near impossible to get your bearings on some trails as you can just go around and around in circles like lost sheep and follow everyone who seems to think they know where they. So last Monday evening, we all arrived at a peaceful setting by a lake, in anticipation of another night of frivolity. However, in an evening filled with many memorable quotes, Number One, came from Josephine, while trying to find the venue – This area does my head in. Then before the start, quote Number Two from Sir Rabbit – I’m not going far as you get lost around here.
So after final instructions from hare Now Loved about looking up, beware of shiggy and diverging walk/run trails, the pack with trepidation,headed off with M’selle Latrine out in front on the run, before he jumped groups and joined the walk. Brewtus, Bent Banana. Sir Botcho and Circumference stayed pretty close together on the run with the hare circling around on his cycle to make sure the whole run was completed. The run home was the way out in reverse, which is quick way of marking a trail.After 45 mins, the four runners were back home sucking on brewskees. About half a kilometre from home, Circumference looked across the lake and could hear Weekly leading a group of walkers all chirping away like the seven dwarfs heading off to work, thinking they were in cruise control, but it didn’t dawn on them that no where near getting home without them doing a JC and walking on water.
Kwakka and Swindler back from a walk and hash security Dicky Knee looked pretty chilled out over a beer as Josephine suggested the Hash Log be noted at 7:25 pm, We are concerned that no other walkers are back yet. We will review this, when the piss runs out.
Quote Number Three came from Swindler – We have 5 experts out there with mobile phones and GPS’s.
Brewtus chipped in with quote Number Four – This is starting to look like the Blair Witch Project,(the movie about people wandering lost around the bush like zombies)
A group of walkers then appeared from different directions – Carefree and Blue Card in from the left and Clive,Shat and Jigsaw from the right. Shat stepped up to mark with quote Number Five – Miscarriage will be proud of that (hash debacle)
As Clive enjoyed a well earned refreshment, he advised that his mates in SA used to call him Spear Chucker. Something worth remembering as we get to know him more over future various weeks of hashing.
Now Loved served up the entrée of Jatz crackers,cheese, and a cold meat which everyone debated as to whether it was Spam, Fritz, Devon or maybe Chum.
It was suggested to the hare that he go and get the nosh from Mrs Now loved (Shauna). However before he left, maybe he should get everyone home first. So quote Number Six was then delivered by Now Loved – Fuck Em !
So through technology an emergency rescue team found the lost souls somewhere near Christine Avenue. By now the GM and Sir Rabbit (both well experienced in Hash Survivor from Miscarriage’s run), had helped VD, KB and Weekly keep their shit together until they were safely home to the nosh and bucket. Where the fuck is Latrine became the subject of conversation as debate raged as to whether he had gone home or was still wandering the streets. So when he finally surfaced, M’selle Latrine dropped quote Number Eight , something that he had suggested to others on the walk – This is the way, follow me. Quick witted Clive suggested it sounded Biblical(like I am the way) from the book of James 1, verse 6. Clive appears to have excellent South African background in missionary(position) knowledge and spear throwing credentials.
So by now Now Loved turned on the nosh in an attempt to save his arse from an icing. Chilli con carne, rice, corn chips and a shipload of sour cream were soon on display for all to devour. Some of the red wine drinkers were partying so hard they missed the GM’s call for a circle. Up stepped Sir Botcho who spoke glowingly about the very well marked 45 minute run which was bloody fantastic. M’ selle Latrine spoke on the run which was magnificent through the forest, before he joined the walkers, minus a torch and told them I am going the other way on the extremely well marked trail. The GM , figured his walk was more like a circle, then a tangent, walking three times past the same post(according to Sir Rabbit) before ending up in Cumberland Drive in the next suburb. Now Loved got his hare down down before Sir Rabbit got a down down for expressing alt disappointment at the cancellation of the Indy/V8’s run, although failed to vote in favour of running it, by preferring to keep his fur dry on the night.
Exit, GM, enter RA with quote Number Nine – There’s nothing like a fuck-up. So give the cunt another drink. Now Loved knocked down anothery just like the previous one.
Blue Card , returning traveller, presented the GM with an Islamic head piece to wear while saying his prayers head down and arse up.
Carefree told us about his Undateable Episode of No Sex in the GC City during the V8’s weekend as a result of the Main Beach precinct closedown of suburban streets. He had ladies lined up for dates on consecutive evenings on Saturday and Sunday but after lots of sexting, they both decided it was all too hard to get to his place and both cancelled. They didn’t realise it was even much harder on Carefree who had preloaded on his little blue meds in anticipation of two steamy evenings.
Bent Banana charged M’Latrine for continual failure to bring a torch to hash after several years not realising he is trying to reduce his hash carbon footprint as tax credit offset.
The carry over POW, Kitchen Bitch, who claiming he didn’t have much ammo soon had Now Loved, Jigsaw, Swindler, Weekly, Sir Botcho and Rock Hard as potential candidates. By a series of elimination, the POW was awarded to Sir Botcho for speaking about how much he had enjoyed the run while showing no sympathy for the lost walkers, after almost several hours of following in Pied Piper style none other the GM who rounded up the Top 10 of the evening’s quotes with – I know this area like the back of my hand. KB, in a rare appearance, had actually made the start of this event and it had turned into a nightmare.
The whole evening could be best remembered by a flashback to that famous legendary quote of Mumbles on 24 January 2005 when hopelessly lost in the Nerang Forest he uttered – I knew where we were and where we should come out, but we weren’t I thought I was.
Josephine was invited to close RPR 20.
IT WOULD SEEM THAT SOME OLD ROCK STARS JUST KEEP ON GOING ON FOREVER
We are all used to entertainers playing Twin Towns again and again on their superannuation tours and John Farnham has had more final tours than the Queen.
But here’s couple of headline acts that are hard to beat -.
A Dunedin music store has a poster in the front window advertising an upcoming NZ tour for David Bowie.
Closer to home, some wag with the same name as the former front man of INXS is a Funeral Director. He advertises in the Gold Coast Bulletin, as Michael Hutchinson Funerals.
On the television there is a promotion for an upcoming tour of Australia for Elvis and his Big Brass Band, stating that the show is like you have never seen him before.
Maybe it is our hasher by the same name who has been hiding his talents from us !
Yours in hashing