The choice of a good venue is always a great start to a hash event. Considering we almost drowned years ago at this venue, it was good to be high and dry and under cover under the grey skies on another steamy Monday evening.  Kitchen Bitch arrived early as he was keen to get some exercise but the hare seconded him for assistance in the nosh department. Brief instructions were given and soon walkers and runners headed off towards the east. A couple of local lasses out walking their puppies gave hints to the pack as to where they had seen arrows after the first check which was greatly appreciated. Soon the trail was well was into the local suburbia where Monday evenings must be the designated mowing and whipper snipper time as there were a few out there. A mobile telephone rang and Magician was the culprit. Although it was very humid, there was plenty of shade on the trail especially near the bridge area where Truck Tyres got bushed. Josephine headed back as the trail progressed past home and was soon organising all the chairs from the trailer.

When all had returned home via Somerset Drive, the bucket was popular especially the birthday beers provided by Slug. Your could take pick of the entrée as it included watermelon , rockmelon and dates.   Plenty of hashers set themselves up on a chair as there seemed to be a few short of the total number in attendance. When the hare announced that the main nosh was ready, Dicky Knee offered to stay back and mind a couple of chairs for hashers while they got their food. When it was his turn to get some nosh, an inconsiderate hasher decided to blow in and knock off his seat, not knowing it all happened in front of the current POW. What a difference a week makes in the hash nosh menu. From butchered halal goat to abattoir killed pig (ham), there is always something happening in the kitchen. There were plenty of salads,pineapple and condiments to toss onto the ham. Next up was dessert which featured the hot Miss Aldi’s Apple Rounds with custard and cream dripping off them. As all diners were pretty full by this stage, so the GM suggested some exercise before the circle. The tables and chairs needed packing away while the booze masters mixed their concoctions.

Sir AH and Kitchen Bitch were first out  for a quick drink before the Magician was asked to comment on the run, however he waffled on about it being a beautiful evening without really assessing the run and gave it a Minus One rating. Maybe he had spent too much time on his mobile while on the run to actually know what had happened apart from Truck Tyres punching on after loosing his way. Thankfully Bent Banana described the hare’s effort as a good run.

Showpony and Mad Mike were mentioned due to their current health issues and all are thinking of them at the moment.

Exit the GM and he invited the RA to takeover proceedings. Josephine was asked by the RA about the number of chairs he had got out of the trailer and the figure of 20 was mentioned. However it was observed that Now Loved and the Magician had struggled with their one chair each upon returning them to the trailer. They were given down downs and the new first LCA’s for the year – Lazy Cunts Award.  The Magician was asked to explain what was so important on the mobile to take a call while on the run. He replied it was his missus / she who must be obeyed, reminding him of the Monday night curfew in the bedroom, so he would have to get home promptly after hash. Wrong answer, down down.

A report of a possible emerging bromance with the sighting of Kitchen Bitch putting his arm around Ferret on the walk. However maybe it was possibly the early stages of a motor vehicle deal going down (down) and that’s what these hashers got.

The POW returned by Ferret was sighted for the first time in 2017. A couple of early nominations were Weekly, Sweathog and even the RA who were just decoys for the real event. As only one hasher had pinched another hasher’s seat, after he had looked after others, and allegedly swiped his beer as well that evening, it narrowed it down to Blue Card ,a popular choice by all.

Moonbeam was invited to close RPR 32.

TRUMPILLAC ONE Presidential Limousine

Just in time for his inauguration the President elect of the free fall world has just got himself an updated Cadillac. After consultation with Donald, several specifications were requested.

The new added features include a Trumper Bar and Rapid Fire Machine guns containing Spray Tan and Hair Spray in the front of the vehicle.

At the rear of the vehicle will be a Retractable Mexican-Proof Wall and a fully imported Moscow Golden Shower.

On each side of the vehicle there will be retractable Pussy Grabbers, just in case the opportunity arises while on his limo victory tours of the middle states of the Ununited States of America as he thanks those who elected him to office.

Security will be of the highest order for the man who formerly said – You’re Fired just in case in the country which has more guns than the people who seem to have easy access to purchase semi-automatic machine guns, the FBI has to ask – Who Fired ?

FOX should have plenty of television coverage of the inauguration event as the other television networks already seem to be offside before the game has even started. The former host of The Apprentice has just progressed to the Tradesman who has been elected to get the job done.

Run 2050 – 23 January – Bring your appetite and togs/ towel if you feel like a dip after another humid Monday evening.

Splinter Hash – 27 January – Let Sir Botcho know of your intended attendance/golf participation/dietary requirements if you are a vegan.

Yours in hashing

CIRCUMFERENCE