Run 2079…Hare Swollen Colon

Date: 28th August 2017…………………………..
Location: Southport…………………………………
Run Pictures…………………………………………..

A run with a twist, a form of treasure hunt, Swollen added a bit of the quest to this run. Everyone got a number inked onto his hand and was told to find the magazines, find the page number in that magazine and rip it out, find as many as you can and at the end of the run, check in with Swollen with all your torn pages. Easy? Well, I heard one complaint from Blackie that if he concentrated on looking for magazines, he would miss the trip hazards. Apparently, he did try at one of the magazines, got frustrated, and tried to tear away the magazine from where Swollen had placed it, but Swollen had already thought about this and had chained and padlocked the magazines in place. Blackie gave up and continued his run, ignoring all the other magazines.

I caught up with Ferrett as he was coming out of the driveway between the shops and we walked east along Johnston Street following the arrows. The runners and most of the walkers had already gone ahead. I could see Hard On and Weekly about 50 metres ahead. Trail turned south along Water Street. Swindler pointed us down, but the disappeared back home. We thought we lost the trail at the crossing of Shillito Street, but picked up trail again along Spencer Street. Left on George Street, right on Jackman. Then a right off the road north along the east side of Loders Creek, back up to Johnston Street. Left over the bridge, then right following the footpath west side of Loders Creek. Found a magazine securely tied to a post, Ferrett, Weekly, Fuck All and a few others scrambled for pages, tore out the ones they wanted plus more, and headed left and right along Smith Street. I sensibly followed Ferrett east, Fuck All decided to come with us. We turned south along George Street and back home. I thought we had done a short half hour walk, but surprisingly, there were already half a dozen hashers back.

Swollen had put up ironing board barriers either side of the venue, a large floodlight was erected over the back door of his office, and tables were set out in a large rectangle with chairs all around the outside. The trailer was the only vehicle allowed inside the sanctuary. Sweat Hog was busy at the trailer BBQ turning mini sausage rolls, and starting the burgers.

Runners started coming in, the mini sausage rolls got demolished. Swollen and Leanne were busy inside with another BBQ, and pots boiling away. He called hashers to form a queue from his left, hashers being hashers queues formed both sides. He soon got rid of the ones on his right. The line seemed endless, Josephine and I waited until most hashers had their serve. We had two burgers, a boiled potato, carrot, and peas. This was followed by apple pies hurriedly warmed on the BBQ. Weekly went up for a second helping of peas, “I love peas”, he said.

Swollen climbed a ladder and announced the winners of the pages hunt. 3 hashers got seven out of the nine magazines, then Magician casually said he has seven pages also, and pulled a crumpled ball out of his pocket. Recount!! Blackie got the scooter for only getting one.

The tables and chairs were cleared away, and GM called the circle. Somehow, Carefree was still eating dessert and was still standing in the middle of the circle. Well, an ideal down down for the GM to call, however, Carefree chucked most of the contents over his head onto the GM. GM not happy, another down down for Carefree.

Swindler, Fanny, Carefree, Hard On and Prince were called out as being potential GMs. Botcho said that was already another committee in the making

Hare Swollen, Leanne and helper Sweat Hog were called out, Swollen dobbed in Leanne for having new shoes (this was ignored). Swindler gave a note.

Slab, Fanny, Hard On and Magician were called out for something I can’t read (on my notes), Miscarriage gave a note.

GM rambled on about same sex marriage.

Two Dogs came in as substitute RA, and started with a joke, then went on to bring out Rabbit for not saying much at Splinter Lunch, and Shat for boasting about new shoes at the splinter lunch. Aussie gave them a note.

Slug and Weekly were called out for using the female toilet at the Splinter lunch, Bent Banana gave a note.

Returning runners from the Cape, Swindler, Truckie and Carefree were given a note by Miscarriage.

Substitute RA called out Prince, Brewtus, Missing Link, Fanny and Magician  for not going through the drain on the run, but sent them away and called out Miscarriage, Botcho and Bent Banana for being stupid enough to actually go through the drain, they got the down down, note by Swollen.

Blackie was called out for trying to rip out the whole magazine and throw it away.

More jokes from the RA before handing back to the GM. Jokes were good, well researched Two Dogs.

GM called out Truckie for buying $20 of fuel before going on a 300 km trip.

Prince explained the harrowing experience poor Miscarriage was going through in the court case, and Miscarriage poking himself in the eye.

Weekly called himself out for getting to 400 runs, Fanny joined him for getting to 150 runs, Swollen gave a note.

Prince gave Fanny a special T-shirt from Moonbeams.

Miscarriage said something about going to LA to see Show Pony’s daughter.

POW Magician stepped in and called Slab for being dual citizen, and Missing Link for avoiding the drain, but running in muddy Cambodia! However, he thought that Swindler and Carefree were seen hugging, so both got the POW. Swindler got the cap; Carefree got the prick at the back of his shorts. Magician gave the note.

Josephine stepped in asking who had number 54, as the page described worst nosh about 15 years ago. He was not amused and thought it was a set up.

Brewtus is setting the run next week at Varsity, check the website, he closed the circle.

Remember to use [email protected] if you have a story for RA.

On on

Mad Mike

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