Date: 11th September 2017…………………….
A great Aussie by the name of Slim Dusty once sang a song titled – A Pub
with No Beer. The lyrics included – There’s nothing so morbid or drear
than to stand in the bar of a pub with no beer. It’s something I have
never experienced, although I was once in a Red Rooster outlet at
Cannonvale in the Whitsundays where they had no chicken. Anyhow lets get
back to what was served up by the hare on this run/walk – a hash trail
with no directional arrows. The instructions by the hare seemed straight
forward, out to the Southport-Nerang road to a check. So somehow with no
markings to the check, most found their way to the check/check marking.
On the way to the road, Sir Blackie took a leak before going arse over
as he stumbled in the dark. About 2 arrows lead the pack to cross over
the road towards Aquinas College where the last sighted arrow on the
footpath encouraged all to head north towards the church and beyond.
From then it became an absolute trail debacle with various groups of
hashers searching in all directions for another arrow. Not a solitary
call of On On or even false trail was heard, in fact it was quite silent
and morbid to be on a hash run with no more arrows or markings. It
became the Bermuda Triangle of a hash trail , somewhere in the vicinity
of the GC Pistol Range. A solitary arrow leading to nowhere which after
checking about one kilometre along Edmund Rice Drive, no further
evidence of a trail/false trail could be found in any direction. So the
various groups of hashers did their own runs/walks with not one of these
groups sighting another arrow despite all coming in from different
directions back to the venue. At least all knew this was a club with
beer even though the hash trail on this occasion was sans arrows. Or
maybe we should all get in the queue on the two for one offer at Spec
The numbers in attendance were all accounted for, so at least no one had
got lost searching for the seemingly non-existent arrows. Cold
refreshments were enjoyed by all before the entrée of pea and ham soup
was served up. Several loaves of various breads were on available to
soak up the quality soup which had the slightest tang of the remnants of
a log smouldering in a bushfire. As most hashers went back for seconds
and thirds, obviously the quality wasn’t too bad. Big chicken or small
ibis wings hot off the BBQ were the next course and again they proved to
be very popular as they disappeared very quickly. Vanilla ice-cream
topped off the evening’s offerings.
Some cycling hashers did a few laps of the car park on one of the hare’s
cycles to work off their nosh prior to packing the chairs into the
trailer. Apparently as a key is missing to unlock the tables , if there
are any spare ones floating around with hashers , could you contact the
Acting GM in Blue Card’s absence, Jigsaw, called the circle and first
out were Truck Tyres/Missing Link/ Swindler. Apparently these hashers
had been disrespectful to Jigsaw with recent disparaging comments about
his blood and arse. However as we all know in hash, you leave yourself
open to comment by your own actions. The comments on the run were not
too flash especially as the hare had outsourced the setting of the run,
there were only 4 arrows sighted and to top it off Fuller Shit declaring
that all the hashers were blind for not being able to locate the trail.
Rock Hard stated the nosh must have been good as the chicken wings went
The returning runners namely Seedy, Now Loved, Ball Point and the hare’s
brother who I think Shitless would be a good name for him were given
Hash celebrities with similar civilian names to others in the spotlight
were next up included Swindler, Missing Link and Truck Tyres. Later
Ferret got a mention for an appearance on local television regarding the
real estate sale of Nobbys Outlook.
Ball Point received a down down for some of his recent eloquent
outbursts like – Fuck Off in a broadcast e mail and never one not to
miss an opportunity gave another oral spray declaring that most of the
nosh was fucking burnt and asking where was the rice in the hare’s nosh
menu as the hare had borrowed his rice cooker.
RA Iceman stepped in to take over proceedings and his opening remarks
were – Where the fuck is the lid of my lunch box ? Moving on , after a
search of the rubbish bins, Carefree was called out for IT problems with
his not so Smart telephone. A joke from the RA about John and Arthur and
some necrophilia involving a vicar’s wife
were a huge improvement on the previous week’s offerings.
The search for the POW was conducted by Hard On. First nomination was
Fuck All(Far Call), then Cecil (who the fuck is ? correction Carefree,
then Weekly, Shat , Truck Tyres and Ball Point. The last nominee scooped
the pool for his recent public usage of vulgar language in particular
the F word which seriously is threatening the ownership Slug’s well
known regular usage of that word in his conversations.
The circle closed after the announcement of next week’s hares – Sir
Rabbit and Josephine from the venue at Norm Rix Park cnr Whiting Street
and Government Road,
North Gold Coast vicinity.
Remember the GM in your thoughts.
Yours in hashing