Date: 26th February 2018……………………..
There were big, black ominous clouds to the south, looming up as we approached Nerang. Jittery hashers were gathered on the driveway to the Community Centre on Lavelle Street all staring at the clouds. Lightning and thunder seemed to be getting closer, and a few drops of rain started. A Range Rover started backing out of a car port, dispersing hashers, and drove out onto the road side. KB stepped out and got abuse from hashers. At 6:10 hashers went up into the car port shelter and waited for hare Fanny, stand in for Rock Hard, to give run instructions. At 6:15 precisely, the heavens opened up with torrential rain, thunder and lightening. Suddenly, no one was listening to Fanny any more. Quick as a flash, they went to the eskies, found beer, and disappeared into the meeting room.
Fanny put out a bowl of popcorn and chips, and with KB’s help, started cooking up the dinner.In the meantime, the scribe’s notepad circulated, and a few hashers added their bit to the run report.
“At 6:15 precisely, the heavens opened up and after 2 minutes of intense debate, the pack returned to the dining room to popcorn and corn chips washed down by cold beverages.”
“The run markings were to a very high standard, however, not having titty girls failed miserably and too many hills and on-backs in very slippery conditions. The hare set a challenging trail, but the hashers fucked it up.”
“Guest runner Bren Gun from Brisbane was very impressed with the workplace health and safety officer’s decision to run twice as far next week”
“We all arrived to thunder-ous applause”
“Miscarriage flushed with success after his victory over the planning committee, turned up in a horsehair wig and silk robes”
KB started setting out the serving area on one of the tables. He laid out a table cloth and placed ketchup bottles on each side. He then brought out an oven plate with meat pies. Hashers rushed up to get some, and seconds and thirds. Winners of the pie competition were Rug with 5, Miscarriage with 4, and Prince and Hard On tied for third place with three each. Then out came a huge pot of Bolognaise and pasta. No parmesan cheese. This was followed by chocolate coated ice cream on a stick which was tossed to hashers by KB. Most were not caught and fell on the floor.
GM called a circle around the tables and brought out KB for parking under the carport. Why couldn’t he park on the road like everybody else? KB said that his insurance excess was higher than anybody else’s if the car was damaged. He escaped a down down.
Trucky was called out for losing his pot.
HalAl gave a food report, saying it was a pretty good meal.
Fanny and Ball Point got a down down, HalAl gave a note.
Prince gave a report saying the he, Caustic, and a few others all celebrated birthdays at the Friday splinter lunch, but Miscarriage was legless at the pub celebrating his victory, as the council had capitulated. Mrs Burke is not speaking to him anymore, so the house is quiet. Brewtus immediately gave Miscarriage the POW (Prick of the Week).
Miscarriage said there was a Billy Connolly look-alike in the group, and called out Prince for a down down. Jigsaw gave a note.
RA stepped in with some jokes. He called out Ball Point for almost joining another running club on his way to hash, and suggested he go to SpecSavers. Rug gave a note.
Ball Point was called out again for eating the most pizza slices last week, and taking some home. Rug came second, and Circumference third. Blackie gave a note.
Fanny mentioned that he had stood in for Rock Hard and that we should all give Rock Hard our best wishes.
Ferrett was brought in for being in tears not being able to run this evening.
Miscarriage had charges to those that had placed their bags on a chair, restricting seats to hashers. Missing Link got a down down.
Brewtus called end of circle.
Remember to use [email protected] if you have a story for RA, and register for the Rally on 17 March for a Magical Mystery Tour