Date: 16th April 2018……………………………..
Location: Labrador ………………………………….
I got to the location and parked nearby, and strolled up with my hash bag in hand, but as I approached I sensed something wrong. Yes, there was a crowd of boisterous people, nothing new here, but then there were sounds of women and children. I stopped half way and looked. A table was spread out with food and drinks. Shall I or not. I decided to miss out on a free meal and turned back to the car. Where in the hell was the hash, it was already 6:10, so I drove up the road a bit further, nothing. I drove back down until I noticed a lonely Weekly sitting forlornly on a bench, elbows on his knees and head in his hands. I parked and asked him where everyone was as it was not 6:15 yet. He said everything was fucked up. That crowd had taken over the BBQ area that Circumference wanted, hashers had set off early to try to pick up trail, and he just pointed south. I didn’t see any runners, walkers, nothing. So I headed down, and further down looking for signs. I knew Circumference usually sets well marked trails. Little did I know that the trail went west and north. I went down past Smith Street then turned back and followed the highway back towards Central Avenue.
Behold, I found my first arrows, and there, coming towards me, were three hashers. We walked back to the bench where I had seen Weekly. The crowd was still at the original site. When all the hashers were back we walked down to the BBQ area and sat at a nearby table hoping that the crowd would leave soon. The ladies walked over to us with plates of food and deserts. They were feeding the homeless, and thought we might be wanting. They did these free dinners to homeless every week at different locations with food purchased with contributions from their workmates, how good is that.
They were not using the BBQ and allowed Circumference to start cooking his food, Truckie and a few others helped out.
Once the girls left we moved into the enclosure. GM decided to have the circle first, food later as it would not be ready. He called out the hare and asked Blackie for his comments. Boring as hell, says he, but well marked. There was no nosh report, but Weekly said he saw it raw, and it looked good.
STD was called out as he had been volunteering for the Commonwealth Games. STD said nobody was listening to him, especially Peter Beattie, who had not even called to say sorry. Slug gave a note.
Magician was asked how he got his name, but he was keeping that under his hat, Shat gave a note. He said that Magician had been called Stump Whore (or something like that).
Ball Point was called out for drinking beer out of a plastic bag.
No charges from the floor.
RA gave a joke about a goat being dropped down a mine shaft being tethered to a sleeper, by two idiots trying to find out how deep the hole was.
Returning runners were Phantom, Hard On, Swindler, Shat, Sir Ferrett, Sir Slab, and HalAl. Prince gave a note.
Something about Weekly and HalAl losing bags, RA took the rap and had a drink. Weekly gave a note.
Ball Point was brought out for savaging poor Pizza and not having any empathy for him. Swindler gave a note.
Swindler had a charge as he had been finding graffiti on the farm saying “Two Dogs was here in 1918”. STD got a drink, Swindler gave a note.
GM stepped back in asking for announcements.
Caustic spoke about the Commie Games, last chance for late comers.
Commie Games splinter lunch at Costa D’Oro
S-Bends gave a true story about pumping water in Africa.
POW was Ball Point, he had been waiting weeks for this opportunity, and had some nominations.
STD was called out for not having enough food at the previous week’s hash.
Circumference for photographing a poor Scotsman runner lying on the road in agony.
Sir Slab for promising Ball Point a second hand air conditioner, BP hiring a trailer, and getting a phone call from Slab saying that someone else was actually first to claim and cancelled BP. Slab got the POW and Ball Point gave a note.
GM called end of circle and everyone dashed over to get steaks, snags, bread rolls and a variety of sauces.
One more hash to AGPU, who will get the quill?
Remember to use [email protected] if you have a story for RA. Last chance.