Date: 3rd December 2018……………………..
Location: Main Beach ……………………………..
Hash V8 Runs HQ, at the boat ramp car park, was the venue chosen by the hare, S Bends. We were warned in advance that the event was all about St Andrews Day/Scottish themes. The new procedure of paying Hash Cash up front seems to be catching on with the No Pay/No Nosh mantra with hashers departing with their hard earned before runs.
The hare told the pack about hash arrows and checks which most hashers found quite intriguing as it was case of Same Shit/Different Monday for all. So runners went west and walkers south and all joined up near the beachside of the suburb. Near the Southport SLSC, a hasher was sighted in the park with shots of Scottish alcohol ready for consumption. Some more sightseeing on the trail along the Broadwater lead all back to the venue.
The hare had provided a Scottish beer along with the regular brews. However the biggest demand was for Ginger Beer with hashers being told there was none. A Club Now with No (Ginger)Beer shocked many returning runners. Just as well it was Sir Blackie’s RDO or all hell would have broke loose.So beer sales went through the roof and even water was becoming popular as a thirst quencher. Most hashers had now got into their Scottish themed clobber with Tam O’ Shanters being popular headwear and Sir Rabbit doing his best with more tartan on him than a Christmas packet of Scottish shortbread.
The entrée of sliced ham and chicken was well received by all with some noting it was very identical to what they had eaten the day before at another event. A couple of hashers were on haggis burger cooking duties on the well lit BBQ’s,(thanks to Truck Tyres Logistics). A conga line of hungry hashers began circling the cooks, so the hare organised a couple more hashers to serve out the salads and sauce for the breadless burgers. A kind of hash hush came over the seated pack as they masticated their way through the Aberdeen thistle fed beef.
A few hashers staggered back for seconds but most filled up on the large first serving. Many hashers had made comments to me during the evening about what a nice guy the GM was and as he didn’t do icings, it made him even better. Little did they know what was coming up later in the circle.
The next course was an alcohol infused slice of cake and some real tasty Woolworths brand Hokey Pokey ice cream. A few of the bed wetters faction of the hash as usual started getting anxious about getting home early and a chant for the circle to commence began from the usual crew. So the GM organised Now Loved, very resplendent in his tartan picnic rug clan attire to get the down downs ready. Low and behold out comes several bottles of ginger beer in of all things – a Lowes bag -so obviously that’s where you get it these days, so don’t bother looking in the eskies anymore.
The GM wearing a Scottish sash and Tam O’ Shanter called out the multi-named (Skyhook/ Mr Movember/Womb Bromb) on his fund raising efforts of raising 51000 cents for a men’s health charity by growing his top lip whiskers during November. As the visitors and returning runners totalled nine, a joint token down down was taken by Missing Link. Ferret just back from his Captain Cook’s cruise from Pommy Land to Botany Bay presented the GM with some hash presents. The Malaysian flag on the GM’s blue ute is sure to be a diplomatic hit. Sir Prince Valiant advised that Swollen Colon was still recovering from a fairly solid bender he had while on tour.
Hare, S Bends was called out as the hare and a circle disruptive Fanny Charmer finally cracked the GM’s cool demeanour and the No More Mr Nice Guy aura was replaced by a GM in hot pursuit of cold ice for Fanny to sit on. Iceman ‘s report on the run was that, it was a ghost of a soldier’s run while Sir Rabbit stated that it was good walk. The nosh report was given by Magician who stated it was sensational as he had several courses of everything on offer.
Returning RA and holder of the POW told a joke about peanut paste which might have put a few hashers off their breakfast spread for awhile. Arse Nic and Skyhook who just happen to be co-haring a run next Monday in the Nerang Forest (the hash’s Bermuda Triangle) got down downs for somehow slowing down Iceman on the run. Sir Ferret was not happy with the hare’s choice of dessert as it caused him to break a tooth after hitting some butterscotch rock in the hokey pokey ice cream.
Circumference got a birthday down down and in keeping with the theme produced a bottle of St Andrews tawny port for any hasher feeling like a night cap.
Sir Two Dogs was invited to close the circle. While most hashers departed , several of the local hashers who reside in the Main Beach precinct were settling in for a few more drinks. The high octane cider now stocked in the bucket seems to be a popular choice with hashers wanting a quick transition from sobriety to intoxication.
Just as a side issue on the evening’s event, I doubt if we have ever seen a better display of Hash Outsourcing 101 than what was witnessed at this hare’s run.
Honourable mentions to the following –
Now Loved – Drink Stop Waiter
Sir Slab – Entrée Cold Meats Providore
Now Loved – Food Waiter
Poxy and Sweat Hog – Frisbee sized burger flippers
Carefree – Salad Tosser/Server
Now Loved – Salad Server
Now Loved – Hare’s driver to pick up the dessert
Sir Botcho – Dessert Server
And the winner, for his allrounder performance, well I will let you guess who it was as he had a pretty busy night with his Booze master duties as well.
Circumference (still on secondment while Fuck All is on stress leave in Asia)