Run: 1736
Hare: Sir Cumference & Latrine
Location: Len Fox Park, Labrador
Date: 7th February 2011

Fox Park Labrador opposite the Latrine home for wayward youth was the venue for this week’s run. Circumference had set a run that for some ended before it started On On at the waterside a choice of three directions North South or East (over the water) Miscarriage heads the Northern pack all the way along the path to the bridge before “On Back” is called. Nasty and KB are caught in the returning pack back across the On On …. by hash rules that is the end of the run…. Sharing and caring Nasty and KB immediately notice there is no security at the nosh area and all the hash booze is there for the collection by any prowling Labrador Larrikins… Only one thing to do …. Abandon the run and risk life and limb protecting the booze stash.

Latrine and Circumference finally pop out of the Latrine roost and the security duo figure a late run could still be on…. wrong !!! Latrine and Circumference are off the drink stop …. not with any drinks .. BUT it’s the thought that counts.

First back are Missing Link and Veteran lost the trail after 2 klms so next best option was local knowledge, the pack slowly drift back with numerous comments flowing “ No fukcing drinks” “Where is my hot pie” “ Cumsmoke that’s your second” “Fukc you” “ 10 biscuits for 34 hashers Hmmmm” “ There was NO sweep” “Ferret your supposed to sweep” “Get knotted”” Blackie says just trying to teach my leg a lesson”
Cold beers and bullshit flows…. savouries are served and the high humidity gets to the Aldi bargain bickies and cheese … but it’s OK there are only 10 in total for 34 hashers. Hot Pies and spring rolls are out next just in time for Caustic to arrive back and see Cumsmoke devouring Caustic’s share … the quick and the dead theory is alive and well in our R/A’s world.
Swollen has taken over Croc’s roll sucking up to the GM …. “If I had a chair GM I WOULD gladly give it up for you … I promise, not like these other greedy pricks”

Next course from the Latrine gourmet noshery is Chilli con carne and rice …. slight portion control on the rice becomes apparent and the “ever tactful” Cumsmoke wants to know “ what sort of soup is this??”

Latrine’s FAMOUS FRESH fruit salad and ice cream is up next and as good as it gets. All inside budget too!!!
Its 8.08 PM and GM Flasher arrives with his newly refurbished staff and GM gear calling “CIRCLE IN 1 Minute.
GM Flasher announces two failures … No show from this week’s sponsor .. held over.

No show from a birthday Hasher too … held over.
HARES …………..Latrine and Circumference
Trail report ….. Miscarriage calls it “Well marked” to some conjecture from the pack. A random call from the depths says “ GREAT drinks stop” Hmmmm !!!
Caustic is still bleating about “NO SWEEPER “
Caustic and Shat have decided in their wanderings that a Hash renaming is in order.. It is floated by Shat the Ferret should be renamed “Hash C#&@”
Consideration is given to this extraordinary demand for a fleeting second among raucous laughter …. motion dismissed!!!
Ferret gets to comment on the Nosh….. “Good” was his view!
Cumsmoke comments … “had no money to buy my soup!!”
Show Pony gives the note.
RETURNING RUNNERS
Latrine …….. Disconcerted GM
Bully ….. Been in Singapore buying new shoes GM.
Sir AH … Been mopping up the Brisbane floods GM.
Josephine gives the note.
YELLOW CODE ……..
Rock hard ……….Computer is down GM … don’t know!!
Blackie …… Don’t have a computer GM Can’t afford one !!! … Don’t know.
Missing Link saves the day …. “R” GM “R” for Rock hard GM.
DD’s all round and Missing Link gives the note.
R/A is up next …..
Latrine and Circumference get a charge from Nasty…………. NO security and interrupting Nasty’s highly disciplined exercise program.
An arms linked (rule one ??) DD follows….. Nasty gives the note.
Miscarriage charges Rainbow with “ Rule one “ infringement …. seems he travelled in a suspect vehicle to the run with an older and younger hash duo with serious “Rule one” tendencies.
Caustic and Cumsmoke are revealed as closet rule one suspects.
Miscarraige offered a “ Chitty Chitty Bang Bang “ note.
R/A finishes his stint….
MORE CHARGES …
Swollen ….. FRB’s not calling …. Miscarriage gets yet another DD. Closely followed by Two Dogs .
Miscarriage gives the On On Ooooooon Oooooonnnnn note.
Caustic gives the R/A a DD for licking the last pie … greedy prick !!!
POW Sir Rabbit complete with pink Rabbit ears … awards the POW BACK TO MISCARRIAGE for no toys or videos in the bag for his dirty weekend……
Miscarriage immediately announces he will be away next week so gives it straight back to Sir Rabbit to be his proxy …. Kama strikes back!!!!
Veteran announces a late change to the splinter lunch venue… Bonus Brothers at the Northern Eastern Southern end of Stephens St
Sir Prince offers a late report on the health of number 3 son …
It appears being held over trapped in the cyclone by his demanding boss he was forced to stay in the backpackers, dining on some unusual delicacies at the “Y”

1.Swedish schnitzel
2.Italian cheese.
3.Australian crumpet.
It appears no 3 is expected to make a full recovery from the ensuing health issues.
Rainbow tells the story of lovers shoes on the wrong feet …… sounded very much like a Tassie excuse (on sec)
8.37 pm …. End of circle!!!!!
On On
KB

Run: 1735
Hare: Miscarriage & Jigsaw
Location: Emerald Lakes, Carrara
Date: 31st January 2011

The site of the very first GCHHH run was the location for the run from this dynamic duo, the reputations were varied with this pair of hares. Miscarriage had dished up some “interesting noshes” along the way. Jigsaw has been “Chef extraordinaire” and the runs have been questionable too.

So the pack of 30 odd Hashers gathered with fear and trepidation to what lay ahead.
On On into the parklands around Emerald Lakes and the 9 Kilometres of walking/riding tracks around the wonderful lakes.

WRONG !!!!
It appears you cannot set a run from your car along the tracks ….. so the roads won the day!!
A massive on back up the highest hill proves the warped humour of hare Miscarriage and scant markings in front of swampy areas saw numerous soggy joggers and socks for the unwary.

Back to the nosh and huge expectations ………. WRONG AGAIN .. serve yourself bred rolls are the order of the day and Jigsaw has officially retired from the Michelin 4 hats guild.
Cold beers, good humour and lies follow prior to Flasher’s call…….

2 Minutes to circle !!!!
30 Seconds to circle!!!
8.20 PM ….. Circle up you lot!!!!
Shat is first up … talking in circle and gives a lame apology to GM Flasher, gets out of a DD.

Flasher bids a “good evening all” …. “If you didn’t attend Australia day … you missed out !!!!”

HARES ……. Jigsaw and Miscarriage.

NOSH REPORT…… from Sir Slabb …. not bad!!!
Show Pony …. NO SALT ?????
Josephine …. Where is the change from my $15 ??????????

TRAIL REPORT……
Aussie …. Bulrushes, slush, leaches, up to my knees in slop … great run.
Josephine …. Climbed under the gate at the same time as Cumsmoke went OVER the gate …. seems Cumsmoke was in such a rush he forgot the undies. Josephine now has a greater respect for our illustrious R/A.

RETURNING RUNNERS
Rob …. been away for 5 years but now back for good.
Rainbow …. Been in Tassie hosting travelling GCHHH Hashers.
Blowfly …. Down helping Maggs put a new roof on … wedding photos still coming!!
Nowloved gives a note.
NEXT UP…… Caustic.
Gets a note and DD in recognition of a great job on the Australia Day run.
Missing Link and KB called to join in the DD.

R/A Cumsmoke
First up POW Miscarriage.
Miscarriage states the candidates always seem to rise above the pack!!!

Candidate 1. Always complaining about the length of time for circle, wanting to get home sooner to his fluffy slippers ………… TWO DOGS.

Candidate 2. Proffered stock market investment advise … now a penny dreadful from $25 per share ……………………… SIR PRINCE.

Candidate 3. New Burke Enterprises employee (Yet to start) gets the keys to the new company car as preferential treatment to a trusted fellow hashman.
As all “Company cars” it gets put through its paces even though it is NOT a 4×4.
New employee is led astray by youthful hashers and CRASHES the new car day one. ………………… MISSING LINK.

Candidate 4. Miscarriage recalls his love for China and reaches for his Chinese silk jacket, announces its Chinese New Year presents a tee shirt and announces the POW belongs to the year of the ………………….. (Sir)RABBIT

Miscarriage gives a (Chinese) note.

R/A continues..
Miscarriage back for his 3rd DD………
Top of the hill false trail.
Marked the trail from the car … Shame!!!!
Rainbow gives the note.

R/A calls for CHARGES.
After a slow start Sir Prince fronts to explain the family crisis created when son number 3 gets a job with a fellow hasher’s business. Son 3 gets sent to FNQ and appointed to “Vice President” of the organization and gets sent to the major project to oversee it ………….

Cyclone hits and No 3 is flood bound and the Princess is getting stressed and
“NOT HAPPY JAN”. Miscarriage is back for his 4th DD.

Sir Prince gives a note.
Miscarriage offers a generous offer to GCHHH .. “it breaks my heart every time I see this” is Mrs Miscarriage comment each time she sees it.

But darling the tee shirt belongs to my twin brother!!!!
The tee shirt is revealed bearing the quote “ I REGRET NOTHING” across the front ….. it is awarded to the outstanding candidate to wear it with pride ………..Caustic Crusader
.
Yellow Photo code ………..
Bent Banana calls it “P” for Peter and gets at great expense a new Santa Suit for next year’s run.

SHAT announces talk to him about NASH HASH in Tassie.

Sir Rabbit gives a Splinter lunch report …. 31 GREAT Pizzas .. a huge thanks to Botcho.
Winners appear to be Nasty and Ferret.

Botcho is called up to get a DD to recognise the first awarded GCHHH Victoria Cross, Miscarriage is awarded a purple heart and gets his Fifth (yes 5th) DD for the night.

Sir Prince reminds the pack that they stand on the very site of the inaugural GCHHH run.
8.55pm … Circumference calls “END OF CIRCLE”

On On!!
KB.