Date: 2nd October 2017………………………….
Location: Chevron Island………………………..
Runners:28…………………………………………….
Run Pictures…………………………………………..

This week’s run returns to the flat, much to the delight of Brengun, who threatened not to go on runs if they were as steep as the Miscarriage Heights run. On a drizzly 5:00 pm afternoon start from Kwakka’s house on Chevron Island the hash wandered up to Thomas Drive, then towards Surfers. Over the bridge, then left into Riverview Parade, onto Cypress Avenue then River Drive. We passed Shat’s old house, then bumped into Pizza doing the drink stop from the back of his ute. Well, that was it, got hold of a cold beer, and we stood around chatting for about 15 minutes. The drizzle increased a bit and we all decided to head back to the sanctuary of Kwakka’s house. Up to that point the trail was well marked with arrows. I don’t know how far the runners went.

Back at Kwakka’s house everyone grouped around in the double garage. The trailer was just outside, tables and chairs were brought in and placed beside the swimming pool. Kwakka brought out a tray with some mini meat pies and sausage rolls. This was followed by salad, lasagne and bread. Dessert was a nice tiramisu, (so I was told) very light and creamy.

The tables and chairs were put away in the trailer, and GM called the circle. He said he was glad to be back, still a bit tired but improving. At the Friday Splinter Hash he had showed off a long vertical scar down the middle of his chest. GM called out Miscarriage, last week’s hare, for leading Botcho and Ice Man away from Miscarriage Heights and to his house in Nerang. GM was surprised to hear ON ON being called and the three hashers asking GM to borrow his Uber card to get a ride back to the hash. I remember seeing these three hashers running down the hill, so the Uber driver must have dropped them off high in the bush. Miscarriage got another down down. He was joined by tonight’s hare, Kwakka, and his accumplice Shat. KB gave a note.

Shat, VD, Fanny and Jigsaw were brought out (can’t remember what for), FuckAll gave a note.

GM was getting a bit tired and handed over to Jigsaw. Nothing much was said until RA, Ice Man, took over with his usual joke.

Jigsaw was called up for being the only representative at the recent Sydney 50 year memorial events as being the only hasher to represent GC Gourmet Hash. Miscarriage gave him a note.

VD was called in for somehow breaking the trailer cable (he brought the trailer to Kwakka’s house).

Swollen Colon suggested there should be a set of instructions pasted to the underside of each table explaining how to fold the table legs. There were a number of volunteers trying to close the tables earlier, and having difficulty.

Miscarriage was called in for using his mobile phone during the hash.

Bent Banana called up Brewtus for not advising about the mobile speed camera set up on route to Brewtus’ house. BB got hit with a ticket going to the hash, and another going home, about $500 in fines. They both got a down down.

Brengun was wondering if this was the Lasagne hash, last week and this week.

Hard On was called in for not wearing a hash shirt.

RA finished with an Italian wife joke.

Brengun stepped in saying he was on Hierarchy on the Brisbane hash, and he is choir master, then proceeded to sing a song, line by line with hashers singing along.

Returning runners were Pizza, Swollen Colon, and Ferrett. VD gave a note.

Swollen gave GM three Birds of Paradise flowers he said he got from the Toowoomba Flower Festival.

Poxy gave a joke, the Pizza gave a joke.

Pizza was asked to close the circle before jokes got out of hand.

Remember to use dobin@keen.net.au if you have a story for RA.

On on

Mad Mike

Date: 29th September 2017…………………….
Location: Costa O’doro Surfers Paradise
Hashers:32…………………………………………….
Run Pictures…………………………………………..

What more could one ask for? Great company, half priced menu, a few wines and eye candy!!

32 hashers attended todays lunch, it was great to see 3 Brisbane Hashes make the journey down to join us. Our Grand Master Blue Card even attended…what a man wining and dining just 2 weeks after open heart surgery, as they say “you can’t keep a good Hasher down”

The wine bottles were nearing empty and the call was what now. Never fear Pizza had it in control and the Limoncello arrived for birthday toasts. It was then on to Lansdowne Road for a few after lunch cleansing ales.

Another great Splinter Lunch day was had by all that attended.

On On till next month

Date: 25th September 2017…………………….
Location: Gilston………………………………….
Runners:22…………………………………………….
Run Pictures…………………………………………..

From Miscarriage Park last week to Miscarriage Heights this week. I think Miscarriage is campaigning for H3 support. Maybe roads names and park name are up for auction! Black Stump has already got prime position with the main entrance road. Josephine already has a road named after him in Highland Park, Nerang, so he has no chance. Mad Mike, Hard On, Fuck All probably don’t have a chance of getting council approval, but does Miscarriage care about that? Seeing that he will be having friendly meetings with them over some minor things like tree removal and turning the whole hilltop into a dust bowl (temporary, no doubt). Miscarriage will charm his way to victory.

Where is Miscarriage Heights? Those that missed a return to steep hills, dry ankle-breaking bush, and barbed wire for the unwary, might ask.  The hare took everyone up the steep track to the promised flat part of the trail and showed us the magnificent views east to the coast and west towards the hills where he plans Miscarriage Mansion. I reckon a few more trees east over that fence are likely to disappear soon also. Hashers continued along the track, runners racing ahead. We passed another house in amongst the trees, and then down into Evanita Drive. Miscarriage had put flour down, but seems birds, roos, etc. took care of the marks before we got there, we did see a few marks though. We continued down Evanita and found Miscarriage.

He directed us along a track north of Evanita, which eventually petered out and we were scrambling through bush marked with toilet paper. Ground was very loose with rocks, broken branches and leaves. We finally got to a fence near Jackaroo Crescent, and magically, Miscarriage was there directing us up the hill, and calling back those runners that had gone down. We got to a corner in the fence that was clearly marked right for the walkers and left for the runners. We continued up the hill then circled left down back into the lower parts of Miscarriage Heights. We could now see the lights from the trailer and got back there after about an hour’s walk. That first beer was so welcome!

Truckie had set up the trailer, tables, chairs and lights. Kwakka filled in for the absent Hash Cash. Josephine and Poxy set out the eskies. Weekly found the biscuits and dips in the Miscarriage car. About 7:45 there was still no sign of the hare, Ice Man or Botcho. No problem, the hare knows this area really well, they should be back soon. Meanwhile, the food arrived in a little Honda. Salad bowls, and two containers wrapped in towels to keep hot, bread, butter, and an esky with dessert.

The girls drove down the hill, and turned left onto one of the tracks and followed the track up the hill across the valley. It kept going up, and up. Stopped for a bit, and then continued on up before turning, and coming back down. A number of concerned hashers stood on the side of the track in admiration of the distance the girls had driven before turning back, and considered whether to go into rescue mode. No need, they got back down and out safely through the entrance to Miscarriage Heights.

It was now after 8:00 pm, and hashers were getting restless and hungry. Dips were put away and the salad, bread and lasagne was laid out. Prince helped dish out the lasagne to everyone. During the serving we could see torch lights and gleeful shouting from the three lost ones running down the hill towards us. The lost ones rested up, and Miscarriage finding reasons why he wasn’t really lost.

After the mini Magnum ice cream dessert, Botcho was acting GM, and I saw him busy gathering as much ice as he could find in the three eskies, and put into a bowl. He called the circle and immediately called out the hare for an icing for hierarchy abuse (himself and Ice Man). VD quickly got a bit chunk of ice for his drink before Miscarriage sat on the ice. Then the acting GM slowly told a few jokes, and then called in the RA to complete the punishment.

RA gave a few more slow jokes, and commented on the run. Acting GM then gave the hare a second down down for calling in two committee members for a down down last week. Miscarriage was finally allowed to get off the ice and drink the double DD.

Botcho called out visitor from Brisbane hash, Brengun, who will be with us for another three weeks.

Botcho announced that plates, knives and forks will no longer be provided by hash, bring your own.

Splinter hash lunch was announced for Friday at Costa D’Oro on Orchid Avenue. Pizza’s birthday celebration.

Next week’s run by Kwakka on Chevron, see the website.

KB give an account of the $500k water damage to the showroom just before the building was to be handed over.

Remember to use dobin@keen.net.au if you have a story for RA.

On on

Mad Mike

Date: 18th September 2017…………………….
Location: Labrador………………………………….
Runners:21…………………………………………….
Run Pictures…………………………………………..

Date: 11th September 2017…………………….
Location: Ashmore………………………………….
Runners:31…………………………………………….
Run Pictures…………………………………………..

A great Aussie by the name of Slim Dusty once sang a song titled – A Pub
with No Beer. The lyrics included – There’s nothing so morbid or drear
than to stand in the bar of a pub with no beer. It’s something I have
never experienced, although I was once in a Red Rooster outlet at
Cannonvale in the Whitsundays where they had no chicken. Anyhow lets get
back to what was served up by the hare on this run/walk – a hash trail
with no directional arrows. The instructions by the hare seemed straight
forward, out to the Southport-Nerang road to a check. So somehow with no
markings to the check, most found their way to the check/check marking.
On the way to the road, Sir Blackie took a leak before going arse over
as he stumbled in the dark. About 2 arrows lead the pack to cross over
the road towards Aquinas College where the last sighted arrow on the
footpath encouraged all to head north towards the church and beyond.
From then it became an absolute trail debacle with various groups of
hashers searching in all directions for another arrow. Not a solitary
call of On On or even false trail was heard, in fact it was quite silent
and morbid to be on a hash run with no more arrows or markings.  It
became the Bermuda Triangle of a hash trail , somewhere in the vicinity
of the GC Pistol Range.  A solitary arrow leading to nowhere which after
checking about one kilometre along Edmund Rice Drive, no further
evidence of a trail/false trail could be found in any direction. So the
various groups of hashers did their own runs/walks with not one of these
groups sighting another arrow despite all coming in from different
directions back to the venue. At least all knew this was a club with
beer even though the hash trail on this occasion was sans arrows. Or
maybe we should all get in the queue on the two for one offer at Spec
Savers.

The numbers in attendance were all accounted for, so at least no one had
got lost searching for the seemingly non-existent arrows. Cold
refreshments were enjoyed by all before the entrée of pea and ham soup
was served up. Several loaves of various breads were on available to
soak up the quality soup which had the slightest tang of the remnants of
a log smouldering in a bushfire. As most hashers went back for seconds
and thirds, obviously the quality wasn’t too bad. Big chicken or small
ibis wings hot off the BBQ were the next course and again they proved to
be very popular as they disappeared very quickly. Vanilla ice-cream
topped off the evening’s offerings.

Some cycling hashers did a few laps of the car park on one of the hare’s
cycles to work off their nosh prior to packing the chairs into the
trailer. Apparently as a key is missing to unlock the tables , if there
are any spare ones floating around with hashers , could you contact the
trailer master.

Acting GM in Blue Card’s absence, Jigsaw, called the circle and first
out were Truck Tyres/Missing Link/ Swindler. Apparently these hashers
had been disrespectful to Jigsaw with recent disparaging comments about
his blood and arse. However as we all know in hash, you leave yourself
open to comment by your own actions. The comments on the run were not
too flash especially as the hare had outsourced the setting of the run,
there were only 4 arrows sighted and to top it off Fuller Shit declaring
that all the hashers were blind for not being able to locate the trail.
Rock Hard stated the nosh must have been good as the chicken wings went
very quickly.

The returning runners namely Seedy, Now Loved, Ball Point and the hare’s
brother who I think Shitless would be a good name for him were given
down downs.

Hash celebrities with similar civilian names to others in the spotlight
were next up included Swindler, Missing Link and Truck Tyres. Later
Ferret got a mention for an appearance on local television regarding the
real estate sale of Nobbys Outlook.

Ball Point received a down down for some of his recent eloquent
outbursts like – Fuck Off in a broadcast e mail and never one not to
miss an opportunity gave another oral spray declaring that most of the
nosh was fucking burnt and asking where was the rice in the hare’s nosh
menu as the hare had borrowed his rice cooker.

RA Iceman stepped in to take over proceedings and his opening remarks
were – Where the fuck is the lid of my lunch box ? Moving on , after a
search of the rubbish bins, Carefree was called out for IT problems with
his not so Smart telephone. A joke from the RA about John and Arthur and
some necrophilia involving a vicar’s wife
were a huge improvement on the previous week’s offerings.

The search for the POW was conducted by Hard On. First nomination was
Fuck All(Far Call), then Cecil (who the fuck is ? correction Carefree,
then Weekly, Shat , Truck Tyres and Ball Point. The last nominee scooped
the pool for his recent public usage of vulgar language in particular
the F word which seriously is threatening the ownership Slug’s well
known regular usage of that word in his conversations.

The circle closed after the announcement of next week’s hares – Sir
Rabbit and Josephine from the venue at Norm Rix Park cnr Whiting Street
and Government Road,
North Gold Coast vicinity.

Remember the GM in your thoughts.

Yours in hashing
Circumference