Run: 1941

Date:12/01/2015

Location: Pacific Pines

Hare: Botcho

Runners:34

JE SUIS BOTCHO!!!

In a week when Paris -the city not Hilton- the planet’s epicentre of all that is ‘lurv’ and ‘haute couture’ – became the latest metaphor for Islam, i.e. religion of peace and the Hijab, we can take comfort in Churchill’s chilling wisdom that: “no two terrorist are alike”. And, as more and more hardcore terrorist organisation spring forth, so too did the news this week that there exists an active terrorist cell here on the Gold Coast…. in fact, right within the GCH3. While this may not come as surprising to those with a yearning for the next conspiracy theory, the revelation of its figurehead was indeed a bombshell. Indeed, those within the inner sanctum of the Gourmet Hash had naturally assumed that Flasher – the GCH3’s most passionate and most vocal anti Islam crusader – was its leader (or ‘Grand Muff’ as he is normally referred to).

But they were all wrong.

Indeed, when Botcho emerged – sandwich board over the shoulders – with the words:

Je suis

BOTCHO

Le

GRAND MUFF

the GCH3 membership was stunned; Botcho, a fucking terrorist, how could that be? The bloke’s everyone favourite uncle, a most lovable, decent, honourable man. The world’s gone bloody bananas!!!

As chance would have it, Botcho was also the Hare for Run 1941 at Pac Pines last Monday. He laid down the law from the get go:

-“Now listen up you bunch of bastards and listen good ‘cause I’m only saying this once. This trail’s cherry-ripe for you to absolutely lay waste to it…so get in there, hard, and demolish the fucking thing… and take no fucking prisoners…

Now fuck off!”

At first glance it looked like this would be just another bog standard GCH3 run but, on this occasion, first appearance was deceiving; for as soon as we’d climbed a little bitumen hill, Botcho sent us in Jihadist training terrain. The trail followed what would usually be referred to as a peaceful, meandering brook but since the Gold Coast has been deluged by 3 metres of stormwater recently, the brook had turned into a wild, treacherous torrent. As a result the trail was overgrown to buggery and running was made all the harder for the long wet grass and fallen trees. The washed away trail became so slippery it was like a slippery slide; many of the more inexperienced hashers became concerned:

-“Don’t get me wrong, I love hashing” panted Fanny Charmer, “but I’d rather hash when it’s dry that way I don’t get a wet arse from sliding on it”…

The pack eventually made it to the 3rd check with 3 alternatives on offer: 1. down the hill, 2. up and along the wild river or 3. through the river and up a bloody big mountain.

-“I reckon it’s down here” said a circumspect Circumference opting (as is his nature) for the easy out.

Hard-as-nails-hasher Sir Prince Valiant scoffed:

-“No fucking way… it’s across the river and up that fucking mountain, no risk”. He stepped into the water and was immediately fighting the unrelenting current. Soon the pack followed him for they knew… here was a true leader. Lurch stepped in with Sir Rabbit on his shoulders for fear that he may drown. “What about me?” screeched the midget Miscarriage “I don’t wanna die” but no one gave a toss…

As the pack crossed to the other bank they looked liked bewildered Wildebeests emerging out of the crocodile infested Serengeti River. “Fuck me” said Sir Slab “that was bloody close”. But if he thought this ordeal was over he was badly mistaken. The mountain ahead was a muddy slippery dip and it took great courage and guts for the pack to finally conquer it. At the top Brewtus said: “I’m fucked fellas, I can’t go on…”

Someone said: “What’s happened to that Pommy bastard from Singapore?” to which came the reply: “Who fucking cares…hopefully he’s been washed away and that’s the last we’ll see of ‘im. That’ll teach him being a Pom”.

As the light got dimmer and rain began to fall once more, the spent pack ambled their way back home and some well earned hooch.

Sir Black Stump was first ‘crit’ in the Circle and he blathered on and on about the good ole days when hashing on the coast was; -“Back then it was bush, bush and more bush…Hashing was a bloke’s domain, when hard runnin’ and hard drinkin’ was all we cared about. You copped a hiding for lack of shiggy on the run but these days you cop one for not providing dessert with your gourmet nosh…the world’s gone fuckin’ mad.”

Fanny Charmer (or Molasses to those who know him well) thought the run was: “Excellent really…… My arse is still wet from sliding down muddy hills but I’m sure that it’ll dry in good time so, an excellent run really!”

Cumsmoke was asked to crit the Walk and he thought it was “excellent”. No, really.

Shat spoke about the Nosh and he thought it was “bloody great”. The chicken shnitzel was cooked to perfection and the Bruchetta was “fucking amazing”. However, on a slightly sour note, he was a ‘smidge’ critical of the Hare for “lack of providing enough dessert”. Little did he know that by the time he was ready for it, Show Pony and Fanny Charmer had both scoffed half a Pav’ each and left fuck all for others.

SPV handed the ‘Useless’ shirt to Miscarriage for the questionable crime of “too many down downs the previous week”.

Ferret, looking oh so dignified in full Prick-of-the-Week attire, thought Weekly should be the PoW, or maybe Flasher, or then again perhaps it could be…. before he finally settled on Not Tonight (Josephine) for an assortment of heinous crime.

As the night unfolded and drinks flowed freely, Botcho, finally relieved of the clandestine cloak he’d been wearing all these years, was in full cry:

-“The problem with modern, new-age terrorism is that it’s lost its sense of fun. I’ve been terrorising people all my life but my version of it is terrorism with both passion and good humour. When I was a kiddy I used to terrorise old Mrs Knight next door because she wouldn’t give me my cricket ball back when I thumped it over the fence. To teach her a lesson, I’d collect a bucket full of cane toads and when she’d be putting the washing out I’d drown them in kero, light ‘em up and throw them over the fence. So fucking hysterical seeing these fireball toads hopping around her backyard while she shuffled around trying to avoid them…

We formed the (Gold Coast) ‘Cell’ soon after the Ayatollah Hoemeini had issued a fatwah to kill Rushdie; we supported the Ayatollah one hundred percent. The ‘Cell’ decided to issue its own ‘Fatty Wah Wah’ simply because his book The Satanic Verses was so fucking boring. I struggled through the first chapter and couldn’t find one word with a hint of humour in it. On that basis alone Rushdie deserved his ‘Fatty’. We even passed the hat around raising money to have his humour by-pass reversed but he’d disappeared by then and it remains on the ‘to do’ list.

We, in the Cell, are devotees of His Arseholeness Saint Hooch or HASH for short. We believe and strongly advocate drinking heavily and comedy. That’s what we want to impose on the world. Our motto is “Suck more Piss and don’t let the truth get in the way of a good story”. If you can’t live by these fundamental principles then be prepared for bombs or murder. It’s that fucking simple!!! And I don’t mind telling you, I’ve dropped my fair share of bombs over the years, particularly after a fiery Vindaloo or a rich Beef Rendang. Mexican triple fried beans can also do the job but those bombs aren’t quite as pungent…

As for murder, I’m bloody proud to have committed more in my life time than I’ve had hot dinners. I murder a couple of Boags and a red every Monday for starters…..”

Bent Banana continued: -“The great thing about Botcho is that he doesn’t discriminate; he’ll just as easily murder a Jacob’s Creek rough red as he would a top of the range Grange. My cellar’s been on the receiving end of many of his murderous rampages…”

Botcho had the final word: “Terrorism is the way of the future; our God HASH is the only way and look out those who defy us: we will drink to your health and kill you with laughter.”

On2,

Acting On-Sec

BallPoint

Next weeks hare Fuller Shit

Run: 1940

Date:5/01/2015

Location: Merrimac

Hare: Nasty

Runners:35

The “run of the year” as it has been described by the hare, Nasty, certainly was a night to remember and lived up to its promise of “back to basics”, both in terms of the run itself and the nosh that followed.

Executive Summary:

Tonight’s run…muddy swamps, grass as high as our chins, barbed wire fences, creek crossings, barking dogs, rain, mosquitoes and midgees, Aldi party pies, curry, beer, wine, fun and hilarity in the circle…this is what we came here for!! A great night had by all..thanks Nasty!!

The Run in more detail:

At the start, 35 of us set off through the long grass of the park at the end of Jondique Street in Merrimac, with some confusion as to who was running and who was walking. All participants set off at a mighty gallop, giving the impression that all were running, including Showpony and Moonbeams!! Needless to say, several soon slowed the pace, some to barely a crawl whilst those of us made of stronger stuff continued to follow the paper trail and the arrows which appeared to have been drawn with a piece of rock rather than chalk. The false trails started before we had even left the park with one hasher heard to utter “oh no, not this shit already”, when confronted with a trail leading into “snake territory” and a large impassable fence. Off we then set through the streets of Merrimac, but very quickly into bushland, at first able to be traversed quite easily but then another apt comment being heard along the lines of “I thought the prick said that the water had all gone” as we negotiated swampy mudflats and other water-courses.

Flasher, in his usual shirtless style, went off on his own tangent, never to be seen by the majority of us again. The rest of us tried to stay together but the swamps got the better of us and at one stage a hardy pack of about six of us, foolishly following Truckie and Circumference, negotiated about two kilometres of grass that was up to our necks in height and at the end of which we had to cross a creek that had us in muddy water up to at least knee height. Someone was heard saying “I like a bit of shiggy but this is ridiculous!”.

As if that wasn’t enough, we then had to get through a barbed wire fence and it was here that our team skills excelled, with Circumference using a stick he had found to hold the barbed wire open enough to allow the other hardy souls to cross into a clear paddock. One comment was “how the f*** did Nasty get through here??”

After a gruelling 7.2 kilometres, topped off with a significant downpour of rain, we all made it back to the starting point where the triple pop-up shade tent had been put up and the tables and chairs all set up under it to protect us from the rain, not that it mattered much as we were all soaked, muddy and looking like drowned rats. Thankfully some of us had been briefed by Nasty at the Warriors breakfast and we had a change of clothes to get into! Definitely the best run of this calendar year, but as Sir Rabbit said “…but it will disappear into oblivion!”

The Nosh:

The Nosh apparently started off with corn chips and dip but by the time yours truly had gotten himself back and dried off, that had of course all disappeared, obviously devoured by the walkers who had expended so much energy and needed immediate sustenance! The party pies then came out with some dubious looking sauces also on offer. The pies were announced as being the main course and the portion control Nazis tried to limit us to one pie each! Most of us thought that was total bollocks and took at least two pies each, with Botcho allegedly helping himself to at least six of them! Poor old Fullershit took two pies, both of which had no filling at all. Doesn’t say much for the quality control at Aldi!!

The real main course turned out to be a mince curry of sorts, served with white boiled rice…Phantom said that “on a scale of one to ten, I would rate this as a zero!” to which Nasty responded “wait for the after taste!!”. Presumably one would think that for there to be an “after-taste”, there firstly has to be taste!!

Dessert consisted of what I think was chocolate cake and custard in a plastic cup, garnished with strawberries, a chocolate-covered sultana and a chocolate biscuit stick. Not bad really but there were three left over, which is an indication of sorts as to its quality.

When yours truly started complaining about the mosquitoes over dinner, Weekly’s response was “you need more booze in your system!!”

The Circle:

 Just as Nosh was coming to an end at around 8.10pm it was time to “circle up” and the rain started again. GM directed all tables to be cleared so circle could be under the cover of the tent, resulting in a bit of GM abuse with some saying “let’s have a sit-down circle!” but the GM would have none of that nonsense.

Visitors and returning runners were welcomed warmly and it was nice to see Bondage, Shetland, Magician (our rep in Ho Chi Minh city), Pile Driver and Brewtus back in the ranks. All received a down-down for gracing us with their presence.

Sir Blackstump was asked for his run report to which he responded “lovely to get back into the mud and have it squelching between your toes…it gets rid of the tinea..we even had rain, another great touch!”

Flasher concluded it was an “excellent run” but said he is sick of people calling him a “short c**t” all the time and threatened to hit those that do so with his giant plastic dildo!

Our esteemed RA was in good form tonight, professing at the start of his rant, err, sorry, sermon that he had done a lot of research into ICE and its effects on the human body, at which point he immediately then called Miscarriage to the front for his icing for having botched his Christmas lunch by buying one solitary bag of ice to keep $400 worth of seafood fresh for his lunch guests. Needless to say the whole lot went off due to not being kept cold enough. This also deserved a down-down (no. 1).

Miscarriage then entertained us with the tale of his twin brother’s antics at Hollywood Showgirls nightclub. Down-down again (no. 2). Miscarriage then proceeded to nominate Rug as representative of those charged with leaving bottle tops all over the place at Miscarriage Manor at Gilston last week.

Third down-down for Miscarriage was for his shoe left securing the bed at another hasher’s house. Very suspicious indeed! Miscarriage’s fourth down-down was for wearing a women’s hash (Singapore Harriets) t-shirt at a men-only hash. Miscarriage’s FIFTH down-down was for having the Useless award, passed on with all due grace by it’s previous proud wearer, Truckie.

Ferret took a down-down for forgetting the Prick of the Week regalia. Well deserved after tipping the ice-tray all over your trusty scribe’s feet!!

That just about concluded all business and Moonbeams closed the circle in his usual inimitable style!

Reminders:

9^th February will be Ballpoint’s 50^th birthday run and he requests that all hashers wear a Hawaiian shirt to mark the occasion.

Fanny Charmer

Substitute to the Substitute Scribe

Run: 1939

Date:29/12/2014

Location: Gilston

Hare: Miscarriage

Runners:30

Gold Coast Gourmet Hash

MOVIE MARATHON of the Year Screened at the new NASTY BAR with screening of Vietnam, Croatia and Philippines recent release movies by Nasty Spellburg.

The Hash House Harriers was formed at the Selangor Club Chambers in Malaya in 1937/38 by E.J Galvin, Malay Mail, H.M Doig, A.S Gispert and Cecil H. Lee. Rumor has it that Gispert was the real ideas man who created the Hash and he was also a Walker and a Bike rider. Tradition continue today with this group of GCHHH who are also excellent athletes.

 Auction of the year

A generous donation of this never ever worn Georgiou Armani suit valued at $3000 has been kindly donated by Nasty ( too small for him now) . It will be auctioned at the next Hash Nasty run with proceeds to go toward the AGPU entertainment. Don’t miss this auction event of the year to be the best dressed GCHHH.

 

GCHHH Shat on 30 December decided to go looking for the Air Asia missing plane and took a flight to same location as missing plane. As a Warrior he holds no fear as he heard that lightning never strikes twice in the same place. Shat decided to take the same Air Asia flightpath and is seen flying in the same location as missing plane. Looking out the window with his eagle eyes it appears he spotted the missing aircraft lifejackets and doors. Well done Shat!!

 

 

Run 1939 with Miscarriage at early start time of 5pm

Promoted as the Bush Run and Trailer Nosh of the year.

Will Miscarriage be able to break the mould again this week?

Will the run surpass Miscarriage’s last Cow Paddock Bush run heralded as Bush Run of the Year.

Location was looking good as Fuller Shit soon got bogged in the heavy mud!!

A group of 30 dedicated athletes circled around the bogged hash trailer,took out a few chairs, opened a cold beer and immediatly relaxed.

Thanks Miscarriage for buying this land so you could provide a unique hash location.

The pre-run briefing from Miscarriage was as always lots of waffle and there were as usual those mumbled words …“run that way and find the trail marked with paper and come back down that mountain slope”

 

The GM was unable to call the rabble to order as RA Caustic reported he was out fishing for baitfish on the continental shelf and had already has 11 beers by 11am. He was reported to be in high spirts and we would be unlikely to see him today.

With that Miscarriage sent the group on their way at 5.16 pm with words “ you wont miss this trail and its a great run’ .

After last few weeks of the so called Best Bush Run of the Year followed by the so called Best Trailer Nosh of the Year that in fact were total debacles this was looking very good for Miscarriage.

The Run Warm Up

Yes…we do see some of our runners actually do stretching before the run as they now sit in chairs as they exercise and stretch their thumb over their IPhones.

The Run

This picture says it all!!! He ran this run twice in one day!!

Miscarriage spent considerable effort in setting this well-marked Bush Run. We guess he has the experience so it was expected to be a good run.The runners and walkers moved up the grassy hill that just kept going up and up and up.

The only relevant clue was the final information that Miscarriage would be standing at each “check” to make sure no one got lost and all did the full run. Good work Miscarriage to keep these bastards honest!!

Very quickly runners moved forward passing all the wobbly walkers as they strugged up the slope.

Miscarriage knowing the way led Flasher , 2 Dogs ,Bent Banana, Sir Black Stump , and Botcho as leading the runners up the hill Miscarriage’s run was all looking very good with heaps of bush, mud and rough terrain!! There was to be no bitumen road on this run.

It was noted that this week there were no International investors on the run so why did the run go over every square KM of Miscarriage’s new proposed Subdivision called “Burkeland”??

Lurch, Sir Slab, Fanny Charmer , Head Job ,Rug ,Iceman ,Caustic and 2 Dogs were in full flight up the hill. Miscarriage was waiting at the checks to make sure each hashman went the right way ..well done Miscarriage for your assistance.

On On was then called several times on the run as the group all moved across the bush up hill and down dale and were saved by Miscarriage with his assistance to get them going the right way.

Most runners this week did do the full run it was by all accounts a excellent run .

The first runners back via the correct trail down the hill to the trailer were Flasher 1^st,

Sir Black Stump 2^nd and Bent Banana 3^rd with Botcho and 2 Dogs close by.

2 Dogs reported run time of 46.05 minutes..Run distance 75.1 km. Area covered 8.5 sq KM with a average pace of 9.06 min /km ..Well done runners.

Caustic and Missing Link came in next in 56 min followed by Lurch and Rug .

It appears that Sir Rabbitt decided to walk this week so he could tell the walkers all the stories of his alcoholic christmas parties.

Run Critic Fanny Charmer noted “ Best Run of the year so far”. Hare Miscarriage put in a lot of effort and experience for this run but again failed to provide a drink stop.

Two Dogs also got in on the act and commented “Amazing how he found new territory after all the runs from here” ..

Great effort Miscarriage for an excellent Bush Run.

The WOBBLY Walkers

As always a big group of wobbly walkers lined up at the starting gate.As the walking group is getting slower and most of these geriatics in the past weeks have made little effort to move away from the Nosh and Booze area but tonight was different. The excitement and smell of the bush gums got them going.

Again we see those ex runners, Sir Rabbit , Rockhard, Circumference, this week joined with Slug to the ranks of the dedicated professional walkers. It seems that they are they now permanent walkers?

Weekly showed no pain as he too raced up the hill.

 

Once at the top of the first hill we see the lead walker Kwakka giving directions

  

 

The dedicated professional walkers, with Miscarriage’s guest Ron and Son of Swindler Darren , with Fuller Shit , Blue Card , Hard On , Weekly, Ferrett & Swindler all moved out a brisk pace up the hill which they kept up the good pace for the 5 km walk. What great comraderie these brave bunch of Hash Walkers continue to experience.

  

 

First walkers back over the hills and down the dales and across the mud were Son of Swindler Darren with Blue Card and the Big O.

                                                                                     Back to the safety of the trailer the walkers enjoyed a cold well deserved beer

 The Nosh

For the Hare Miscarriage it was always going to be a hard act to follow after his last Miscarriage effort that at this stage was voted “The Best Trailer Bush Nosh of the Year?” As promised by the GM Kitchen Bitch the hash in now truly back into gourmet.

Real Bush, Trailer, Great Location and with hygiene totally forgotten as the nosh chef Miscarriage took off his sweaty shirt and proceeded to handle all the food with his so called dirty little spotless hands!!.

Portioned controlled to perfection so no waste it was help yourself food.

Cheeze platter with Greek Olives

 

BBQ Black Angus steak with Gourmet Sausages and Salad

 

Fresh mango fruit salad

Resident food CriTic Lurch Who had only 1 helping of steak and SAUSAGES ( no second helpings as portioned controlled) OBVIOUSLY appreciated the food:

…………“Great food and at last back to Hash basics”

Well done MISCARRIAGE FOR providing the NOSH WITH NO outsourcing. except for assiastance by your old mate Ron .a Great effort that helped to make this ANOTHER REAL hash night of true HASH nosh in a great location in the BUSH.

 

The Bush CIRCLE

Contrary to the report by RA Caustic that the GM was seen heavily intoxicated in control of ship, the GM did appear to supervise the Nosh and run the bush circle.

The GM appeared in Katmandu Hat with Hash Chains and with his trademark Moses Staff but someone commented that he did small a bit fishy and really need his staff ( meaning the RA) to hold him up!!

DD to:

• Rod ( Friend of Miscarriage who advised Miscarriage is also known as Millimeter)
• Miscarriage for the Hare and Nosh
• Ferrett for proudly wearing his Xmas T Shirt
• Missing Link for not wearing his Christmas T Shirt and for posing in his calendar when on Hierarchy
• Visitors Rod and Darren Son of Swindler
• Nasty presented doctors certificate to save himself an Icing
• Head Job as returning runner
• Miscarriage for false change on Sir Rabbit for a so called prohibited import
• Iceman joke this week went down well. A great “Heaven arrival joke” Iceman after recent pathetic failed jokes.

Sir Black Stump proudly presented to Miscarriage the original Black Stump. No doubt this will find a pride of place on the new “Burkeland” subdivision.

Useless Shirt

Yes…still with Truck Tyres wherever he is?

 

Prick of the Week

Awarded by Botcho on behalf of Cumsmoke to Ferrett (yes..spelt with 2 rr’s and 2 tt’s) for failure to read directions from Botcho.

 

Gift for GM

Once again with tears in his eyes saying “the best gift so far this year” the GM accepted an amazing gift and thoughtful gift from Nasty. This highly prized possession of Nasty has now been handed over to the GM. The highly prized Gold Coast Fishing Jacket is now with a new owner. Nothing could turn on our GM more. Well done Nasty for an well thought gift.

 GM Report

GM advised next week run will be by Nasty!! Our GM has personally promised to assist to ensure that this event so it is not as predictable as suspected. Good Luck GM if you can pull this off!!

 

NOTE: The Nasty run will NOT be held in the Aldi carpark and there will NOT be Aldi pies served for Nosh

End of CIRCLE …….by FERRETT @ 8.14 pm

Swindler

 

 

 

Run: 1938

Date:22/12/2014

Location: Carrara

Hare: Sir AH

Runners:29

 

Christmas Run 1938 by Sir AH with Santa’s Little Helper

Editors Note:

Due to recents comments as to the credibility of the author and accurary of the written WORDS in future these ramblings will be renamed the TRUTH after a old time Queensland newspaper publication..for those not suffering from neuron degeneration and can remember, this was a newspaper we once had in Queenland that was reliable,honest, trustworthy and never ever let facts get in the way of a good story

 

Sir AH prays at his computer ..”Please , Please GM send me a Little Santa Helper”

Would the GM once again instruct the ever caring and thoughtful Hierachy to swing into action and make these unnecessary arrangments once again for a Santa Helper??

 

A high attendance of 28 GCHHH gathered near the Emerald Lakes Golf Club all excited about the prosects an expensive Christmas present from a Santa helper.

SANTA WARMS UP for the Run

 

It is always a good idea to stretch those hammies before the run!!

A great effort by Sir AH who spent several hours setting a special Christmas trail and walk.

At the pre-run briefing Sir AH started to explain how the run and walk was planned! Sir AH initial composure was quickly reduced to a totally confused state of mind!!

“I forget what I actually did ???”… he was heard mumbling to himself.

As there would be Christmas presents for all at the end of the run and walk, the 28 excited Hashers took off at full speed to get the run and walk over as soon as possible so they could come back and unwrap their Christmas presents.

 

A Bum of a Run

 

With the incentive to run as fast as possible a large group of walkers and runners all set off in the same direction on the well-marked trail.

The run crisscrossed around the golf course, up a small hill, across the bush, around the park etc etc etc. All rather predictable for the location but very well marked.

The first GCHH runners back and heavily sweating were Miscarriage and Flasher.

Botcho ,Truck Tyres , Bent Banana quickly followed with Sir Black Stump, Fanny Charmer ,Rug ,Ferrett ,Sir Slab and Shetland.

Miscarriage gave an unbiased run report “a very well-marked trail but who covered up the chalk arrows?”

It must have been an excellent run as no runners complained about the very short distance of the run so overall all agreed it was a very well planned run by Sir AH.

THE Waddling Walk AROUND THE GOLF COURSE

Sir AH advised that there may be a drink stop or even some golfers on the course waiting for them.These images projected by Sir AH certainly got the Walkers excited.

Blue Card who is reported to have a very good sence of smell in this area. He immediatly got to the front of the walkers followed by Circumference, Hard On ,Nasty, Fuller Shit , RockHard , Slug ,Shat, Big O ,Weekly, Kwakka ,ArseUp,Swindler & Jigsaw who were not letting Blue Card get out of their sight .

This evening the GM arrived late, canceeld the walk ( surprise surprise!!) and decided to stay at base camp and assist Sir AH prepare the Christmas banquet.

Good to see Show Pony out walking and but returned early from the walk to assist the GM on a very important procurement mission that was eventually aborted.

This was a well planned walk around the golf cousre which all walkers completed for the first time.

The Golf Course Location was well selected by Sir AH

The Nosh

Entree

  

 

Main

 

  

Desert

 

A first class nosh with excellent salads and all prepared on location. Great effort Sir AH. It just proved expereince does help!!

Report by food critic Circumference summed up the meal “ excellent handmade and fresh food ..say no more. This is a real contender for the Nosh of the Year”

 

The Christmas Presents

     

Sir AH gets his Christmas Wish from the ever caring Heirachy who provided Santa’s Little Helpers to assist in the distribution of the Christmas presents.

GM immediatly advised that there was to be no fondling the tits of Santas little helper’s.

The CIRCLE

D/D Returning Runners

• Ferrett – on another boat cruise junket but with a gift for the GM that again would touch him deeply
• ArseUp – busy working in HK
• Shetland – now has bus licence at last but not taking passengers
• Miscarriage – arranging our GCHash retirement beachfront home in Cambodia
• Big 0 – back from spending time with Her Majesty but not looking forward to a revisit

D/D

• Shetland – wearing hat in circle
• Flasher- assaulting Sir Slab with his beer at the Christmas party
• Big O – possible assault charges on Lurch
• Truck Tyres- left his phone in his shorts when he went for a swim
• Fanny Charmer- wearing T Shirt – Trust me I am a lawyer

Icings

  

The RA was away on urgent business meetings with his landlord after last week’s Christmas Run had destroyed his office declared that there would be no icings this week. However future retribution would be guaranted.

 

Useless T- Shirt Award

 

Missing in action

Hopefully it will re-appear soon as whoever has it is Useless and obviously deserves it??

Prick of the Week

Given by it owner Cumsmoke to Botcho who then forget to bring it.

Report by GM

GM in full Hash Formal dress called all to order and apologized for running late as his Christmas waxing appointment had taken longer than usual.

The first 6 months of the Hierarchy Year for the GM Kitchen Bitch in this honored position has been a torrid time full of fine gourmet meals, continuous hash fun, lots of laughs, heaps of action and impeccable organisation. The GM will take the well-earned rest over the festive season for that holidays he deserves with some of his friends. See if you can spot the GM in this group at a recent Mankini convention.

 

NOTE:

Next week run by Miscarriage Starts at 5pm

    

 

 

Enjoy the Christmas Season and try not to end up like this during the holiday season

 

End of CIRCLE ……. @ 8.50pm

 

Swindler

  Click on Santa for this weeks pictures

Run: 1937

Date:15/12/2014

Location: Broadbeach

Hare: Hierarchy

Runners:45

 

The Christmas 2014 Run 1937

Pre lube Location: Homeless Shelter near Kurrawa Surf Club Broadbeach

The Start of the Run

45 excited Santa’s gathered under the Kurrawa Homeless Shelter to discuss the spread of goodwill toward all .The Santa’s , all proudly wearing their Christmas T -Shirts decorated with photos of their revered Hierarchy, quickly began to embrace the Christmas cheer.

        

Thanks to Booze Masters Slug and Rockhard for providing Ice cold Crownies and the pre lube snacks lovingly prepared by Hierarchy Hare Master VD.  

With the sounds of ringing bells from the leading Hash Santa’s Sir Rabbit and Sir AH the large group of excited Santa’s were let loose on Broadbeach. They were led out by the Grand Master KB who directed them towards the Oasis to bring Christmas cheer to all

From here on this meticulously planned and choreographed event could only go one way!!!

Yes…you guessed. A total debacle with a series of unplanned events guaranteed to create havoc amongst this fine group of revelers

 

The Goodwill Stops

The very noisy group we led by the very excited hare Sir Slab. This happy group of Santa’s Helpers dispensed Christmas gifts to all and sundry along the way through the Oasis Mall, a couple of refreshment stops, a slice of Pizza bread and onto the G Link train towards that mystery destination. Just follow the trail to the destination were the instructions.

 

The Venue – the Lull before the Storm

   

The last few months of preplanning by Hierarchy was coming to the proverbial head to make this another memorable Hierarchy event. Excellent effort by RA Caustic in setting up his office as the venue. The Hierarchy enjoyed a quite relaxing beer in RA Caustic’s offices as they discuss the venue preparation and fine tune the evening format.

More excitement as on arrival each GCHHH was given an expensive Christmas gift of a Beer Holder complete with Hierarchy Photos ..a real treasured memorial hash gift that no doubt will become a collectors item.

And then the party got going – FOS says it all with Hard On, Now Loved & Seedy

 

The Music Man Sir Rabbit

If only they would let me turn up the music!!

Entertainment

Dream On on !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Early in the Night

Once at the dinner venue, the beer and red wine flowed without restraint. All present were soon well oiled and eager for the party games planned by the GM.

As the night progressed so did the average alcohol level intake and the need to just wander around having a great time, becoming more and more under the weather and, well, obnoxious? There were mumbling, ‘He’s gotta go’.

For some reason Ferret was complaining about nothing happening and wanted to go home. Strange he decided to stay all night?? Show Pony & Moonbeams took up front row position so as not to miss any action while Blue Card, Rockhard and Now Loved received the Intensive care award for their ongoing thoughtful consideration all evening.
The Games

The Boat Race Team A & Team B

In all the excitement Flasher’s full beer went over the coach and judge Sir Slab.

Pin the Christmas Bauble on the Nipple

It was finally decided as an equal tie with all winners receiving a fine bottle of red wine.

As the Evening Progressed

 

Report from Capri on Via Roma:

It appears that last night just before 10pm the Centre Manager went out to lock-up the centre and he saw 3 men having a chat next to the bench seat near the main entrance. They continued to talk all the way along to the Post Office. One man was seen rapidly moving his arms trying to scratch his very sore and itchy back after recent major back surgery. Two others were trying to assist him but he wanted to scratch his own back as it was very sore so he asked them to leave him alone so he could personally scratch his own back.

The Centre Manager mistakenly for some reason interpreted the man’s behaviour towards those who were assisting him as aggressive and obnoxious behaviour. The Centre Manager then phoned the police and he gave them his interpretation of the situation. The Centre Manager then phoned security to let them know that police had been notified and were on their way.

There apparently was a staff and client Christmas party up on level 2 building 1. It appears that a couple of men may have possibly come downstairs as one of them was not feeling well during the party because of pain from recent major surgery on his back. The large elastoplast dressings on his back were becoming very sore and itchy on the wounds giving the impression that he was exhibiting aggressive behaviour.

The other 2 men then left the injured man in the car park and he was noticed staggering around possibly from the combined effects of drug medication and possibly alcohol. He apparently was walking in front of cars that were leaving the centre and was seen talking loudly to other people leaving through the car park. The police arrived and they approached him and asked him for identification and he spoke loudly to the female and male officers who then handcuffed him and arrested him. We suspect he has a hearing problem that causes him to speak loudly.

The police did call up to the Staff and Client Christmas party asking:
“Did anyone here witness a person being ejected and roughed up?’  “all present answered Nooooo.”  

‘Was anyone here involved?’  “again all present answered Nooooo.” …  

Shat very concerned asked one of the police, a policewoman, where is the guy now.  ‘In custody’, she replied.  Hhhmmmnnn

Report from inside the Staff party by an Unbiased GCHHH Observer:

At around 10pm a trigger finger point was moving towards an inevitable conclusion. Four of the GCHHH including Head Job & Missing Link assisted Big O down the stairway as he wanted to get out into the fresh air.  BIG O was in severe back pain as he was lashing out trying to scratch his back, struggling, kicking as they tried to help through the door and guide him downstairs.

One report was heard “I didn’t see what happened downstairs, though I’m told one of our blokes, Lurch, a giant of a man, slipped on the steps and fell on top of him and this temporarily pinned him down.

Anyway, the helpers all returned to the party and all returned to normal … until the police arrived.  Someone in the restaurant below had called the police about a man being in severe pain. We gather that when the police arrived at the party scene they found BIG O was in an unintelligible state and in agony. The police misinterpreted that he had assaulted some of those that assisted him.  The police then came upstairs and confronted the group.
Report Direct from Big O on events at Capri on Via Roma:

Yeah!!   Yeah!!   Yeah!! As he burst into happy song at the first drink stop: ‘My boomerang won’t come back, my boomerang won’t come back …’

Little did we know the pain he was in? To cheer him up Shat had invited Big O to the annual Gold Coast HHH Christmas Run, with everyone wearing Santa t-shirts & Santa caps.

What a brave soul is BIG O as the pathological check of the huge lumps surgically cut from near his spine showed it is very aggressive growth and they didn’t get it all. He was temporarily stitched up and has been called back for further intensive surgical procedures next year as they can’t fit him in this side of Christmas so just filled him up on strong medication.

To correct the course of events as above when the police came they were seeking the person(s) who BIG O had allegedly assaulted (not the other way round as was initially thought). It appeared BIG O may have mistakenly been seen as taking a swing at the police while trying to scratch his itchy painful back as he was heard howling in pain.

Big O advises that the police handcuffed him and he spent the night in the Southport lockup. He said they hurt the stitches in his back where he had the surgery, which caused him to resist arrest as he was in agony with the pain so on.  He is now obtaining a doctor’s report, including the effect alcohol has on the medication he was taking when this incident occurred.

He is charged with causing a public nuisance and is to appear in court on 13 January. It does appear from all reports he was in severe pain and heavily medicated so no doubt he will plead temporary insanity and hopefully get the charge against him dismissed.

The Aftermath Report by Caustic

The Centre Manager has kindly forwarded to RA Caustic the enclosed photos showing unauthorised setting up of a BBQ and the damaging of private property.

The Centre Manager also alleges he was personally pushed and assaulted by attendees at the Staff and Client Christmas Party when he making my way downstairs to go home last night. Did anyone notice this alleged event?

The Centre Manager also alleges he was further abused when he asked the BBQ personnel what was going on. Again did anyone witness this alleged event?

The Centre Manager advised to have also received phones calls from various people complaining about actions last night and this morning at the Staff and Client Christmas party. Can anyone assist us with information about any actions last night?

The Centre Manager respectfully reminded RA Caustic that Capri on Via Roma is private property and the absolute least he should have done is to advise management of our planned activities and invited him.

The Centre Manager advised that he will be sending RA Caustic a bill for the costs incurred in cleaning up the site and for his time dealing with this matter as well as Personal Damages for Loss of Face in not receiving an invitation to the best Staff and Client Christmas Party so far this year at Capri on Via Roma.

    

Well done to the GM and the Hierarchy for another high quality Hash event planned to perfection.

 

……………………………………10.30 pm END OF Party

 

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