Hares: Sir Rabbit & Pizza
Location: Chevron Island, Surfers Paradise
Date: 14th March, 2011
15th March 2011
Election campaigns fail across the nation.
Latest opinion poll results predict a major swing against leaders and leading contenders in upcoming elections.
It became evident today that the election campaigns of prominent candidates have hit the rocks across the nation. PM Julia Gillard has steered the national leadership into troubled waters with her very unpopular carbon tax and previous promises. NSW Premier Christina Kinnearly is facing certain defeat in next week’s state election following the sell -off of state assets at bargain prices the Morgan gallop polls disclosed today.
However the most significant collapse from contention in the hotly contested position of Grand Master GCHHH has undoubted been Pizza. After an extensive campaign over a number of years this Italian immigrant from humble beginnings was overcoming his reputation of a loud mouthed beer swilling non conformist, with his charismatic ways even overcoming his speech impediment and occasional naked foray. A couple more years may have even seen the “ Pizza never for GM party “ abandoned. However latest reports in from AAPT indicate the weaknesses in the campaign have been revealed when Mr Pizza has attempted to show his GM capabilities ………. The debacle that followed can only go into Hash records showing there is a considerable amount of work to be done by this candidate before he can be regarded as a serious contender if at all.
Run committee sacks hare.
The recent sacking of co-hare Pizza from run duties for 12 months has come as no surprise to the experienced campaigners in GCHHH. It would appear Co-hare Sir Rabbit has denied “ALL KNOWLEDGE and responsibility “ for the run trail ( or lack of it) last Monday night. Pizza appears to have been given notice that Nosh is now the only option and that too must reach higher levels.
GCHHH Pack lost at first mark.
A world record request has been submitted by the secretary of GCHHH for the fastest loss of the hash pack in living memory. The latest statistics prove beyond all doubt that the entire pack of 31 runners was completely lost within 1.7 minutes of starting the run. It was only the powers of elimination and some inside knowledge that lead the pack to the designated drink stop with not ONE arrow within 1.2 Kilometers. Will keep you posted.
Possible food poisoning from St Patrick’s day beer.
An enquiry is being held as to the state of the “green mass” served to the Hash pack at a recent function… It would appear there is some question as to the substance being green dye or MOULD. Numerous members of GCHHH were seen to mimic mouthwash antics with the first serving of the green substance, followed by humble attempts to consume the liquid without success. The Italian brewer of the liquid was seen to put on a brave face saying “ wotafucksrongwithyoos its buuuuuuutifool!!
Sir Rabbit’s cottage pie and mushy peas a great success.
Just one serving left over and Sir Rabbit was delighted with the compliments from the pack on his cottage pie and peas with crusty rolls. Followed by Pizza Italian mint gelato ice cream the nosh was very well received by all.
Circle in 2 minutes !!!!!
GM Flasher calls … Circle!!!!
Run report …. Josephine.
Only saw two arrows all night and one was the one Pizza drew on the top of his ute!!!!!
Shat ……Well marked … take my (st Patrick’s) hat off to you ???????
Nosh report ……. Two dogs.
First time Sir Rabbit has had sweets in 30 years!!!!
Rockhard…. Tasted like toothpaste!!!
Croc .. Overall …..One fantastic fkcu up!!!
Aussie gives a note !!!! Welcome back GM ( Suk)
Pizza shut up!!!
Pizza SHUT UP !!!!!
Visitors… Billy Graham ( Free bibles from Hash cash)
Veteran … no idea.
Sir Slab …. no idea.
Two Dogs ……. couldn’t find it !!
Jigsaw … no idea
Sir Rabbit … looked for hours!!!
GM Flasher says “R “ you slack arses……… WRONG
Botcho has a rare stuff up .. there was NO secret letter !!!!!!!!!!
Sir Slab offers a note.
Special mention RETURNING RUNNER …. Quacker is back from his last run in 1978
SPECIAL NOTICE ……..
Point Two has had a minor stroke or the like , Two Dogs is staying in touch and Point Two seems OK will stay in touch.
First charge is Flasher for his new Jarmie coat Hmmmmmmmmm ( First rule???)
Charges … Caustic attempts to re-name Rainbow to CHIP after a golf course altercation with a flying 3 iron takes out part of Rainbow’s two front teeth…….. Overruled and Caustic gets the DD.
Circumference gets charged with “ Vexatious litigation” by the R/A …. ( Big words … hope it’s a LOT of money as we all share in it !!!!)
POW …. Swollen
After being lost (as we all were) in Orchid Ave with no money, poor Swollen thought he may have to sell his body to get the cab fare home.
The POW goes to the obvious choice …. EX GM candidate PIZZA.
Swollen gives a note.
A SERIES OF VERY POOR JOKES on many subjects FOLLOWED …. none of which are worth repeating!!!
Pizza finally gets one in about eskys with ice cream and chicken that just made the grade.
Finally Miscarriage comes out of his shell and charges the “secret men’s society “ … The brotherhood on keeping insider trading information to themselves.
Sir Prince, Rockhard are charged with not sharing the inside info on the “public listing of a company “ that went from $20 per share to $2 Hmmmmmmmmm
Other news is Miscarriage’s twin has had a life sentence handed down for misbehaviour and may never be seen again…. ( there is always the right of parole)
Pizza gives back Miscarriage’s keys after he walked home and Miscarriage gives a note.
Irish attire is noted as missing from the trail master’s garb so another DD follows for good measure . Thanks are given to Bob Brown for tonight’s theme.
Next week’s run ….. Elvis T Shirt run at the hockey club.
9.20PM and Moonbeams is back so he “closes the circle” on what has got to be the greatest fuck up in Hash History!!!!
BUT!!! …. a belly full of laughs!!!!