Date: Monday 23rd April 2012
Hare: Caustic Crusader
Weeks to AGPU: 6
PLEASE NOTE NOMINATIONS ARE POURING IN FOR HIERARCHY POSITIONS; DON’T MISS YOUR OPPORTUNITY TO PUT YOUR SNOUT IN THE TROUGH!!
As much of a pest our hare can be at times, normally you must give him credit for the amount of effort he puts into a run and the nosh.
However things were about to change as 38 eager athletes showed up at the area known for many a Hash run in years gone past. The area is famous for the dropping of ashes of a past runner, First Hill Tanner, the gorilla suit in the tunnel ambush and the Vile discarding his dead dog escapade, to name a few.
The problem started when the over confident Hare decided that he had set such a well-marked run he figured he didn’t need to go and decided to stay back and have a few ales instead and f..k the pack! He did have assistant Hare, Head Job, in tow but he was to end up so far behind it turned out a complete waste of time. Anyway after the briefing we headed off into the beyond knowing it was due to be a long run with lots of hills and bush.
The first part looked good with lots of paper, chalk and flour on the bike paths and bush tracks. Inevitably, we ended up heading towards the famous tunnel and this is where things went astray. The cocky front runners of course assumed we had to go through the tunnel to the thrill of those who hadn’t done this leg before, and thus blindly lead us through.
As we dodged and weaved our way through the slush and rubbish the pack was now cursing the hare for leading us through the shiggy. At the other end the pack continued on what they thought was the right trail where in fact it was the out trail, as Rectum kept saying to deaf ears, and thus the wrong trail. The next 10 minutes or so had 30 odd runners appearing from all directions weaving their way back and forth through the undergrowth not knowing if they were on the right trail or not.
We eventually came across Aussie, going in the opposite direction, who said he was on trail and there was no way he was going back and continued on his lonesome into the abyss. The remainder of what was left of the lost patrol now found their way back to the road and followed local knowledge as we again picked up Ashmore Road and eventually the home trail.
Again we somehow missed the walkers and runners trail split and continued the quickest way home, on trail but again not the right one, or was it? Over the next half hour the pack continued to arrive in three different directions, clearly indicating the success of not having THE HARE on the run.
After numerous drinks, amid discussions of who did what trail and where did they go wrong and how they all found the right trail but still managed to come in three different directions, the super nosh of curry with appropriate bread and condiments followed by apple crumble, ice cream and custard was served, with plenty to go around.
In the casual sit down circle Botcho gave the run a 7.5/10 stating that “things look different in the dark”, the GM added it was well marked. The nosh was given a deserving 9/10 by the GM, amid a very very rare applause from the appreciative pack.
We also saw Sir Rabbit presented with the old trailer rego plates placating his fear of misuse as it had now expired and was still in his name.
We also heard that Flasher is soon due to appear on “Hot Seat” with (everyone loves to hate) Eddie McGuire sometime next week, stay tuned for viewing details as Flasher promised to give the Hash a plug.
Thanks caustic for another well planned and executed F/up.
PS Don’t forget the big 1800th action packed, fun filled event happening on the 30th April, START FROM Buds Beach, opposite the GM’s palace @ 6:00pm!!
Dress Code: Hash formal
Head Job: Assistant to Hare
Done One Once, Violet, Lewinski, Ringbark, Ferret & Sir AH: Visitors & returning runners
Sandpit: Suggesting formal attire for 1800th, showing initiative and committee material.
Also only hasher in Miscarriage’s electorate, indicating at least one possible vote (pending bribe)
Miscarriage: Council contender, last chance to offer incentives
Blackstump & Miscarriage: Bump on head during run and for charging respectively
Caustic: Wrong address details as charged by Botcho
Veteran: Not mentioning Hash in Bulletin article as charged by Flasher
Pizza: Head butting Jigsaw’s car following recent outing
Flasher: Birthday Boy, thanks for the Crownies
Rectum: POW (from Kwakka), missing pot lids saga, appeal to follow