Date : 18th June 2012
Hare : Jigsaw
Venue : Kawana Crescent, Ashmore
Weeks to AGPU – too many
18 hardened Hashers gathered at the rear of Ashmore Steak and Seafood (bodes well for the food) on what was truly a winters evening; it was almost impossible to hear the hare, Jigsaw issuing instructions due to the noise of chattering teeth. Circumference got the proceedings under way with a cry of “Lets go before we all freeze to death”.
No one argued this point and we set forth from the first prominently displayed arrow. It took quite some time and effort to find the second and third as the chalk budget must have been blown out on last weeks run. On the positive side, the lead changed frequently as more people became lost.
We eventually emerged onto Archerfield Speedway or Ashmore Road and most waited to see which way the Hare’s mountain bike pointed before continuing up Harper Street. FRB Rectum searched in vain for more arrows and had to be called back several times.
After crossing Southport Nerang road, we meandered between footpaths, roads and grass before arriving back in our original location. The trail home must have been set with a myriad of options, as everyone seemed to finish from different positions!
Under many layers of clothing, we were served an entre of pea and ham soup, followed by marinated chicken breasts, fried banana (yes I said banana) pineapple and coriander salsa and rice with (kidney beans?). All topped off with fruit salad and home made custard.
Circle was called by RA and stand-in GM Circumference, who turned the running order on its head and POW was called first. As you may recall, POW Flasher was out of the country, upsetting Asia on our behalf, so proxy POW Botcho took to the floor. After abridging the note left by Flasher he handed the POW to Two Dogs for self-serving Hash notes. Two dogs served himself a Down Down as stand-in booze master.
The RA announced a new award, after thanking Rectum for the great job on last weeks Hash words, he handed Rectum the Farkhorf award. This was apparently an acronym for –
Which was explained, is given for pissing off two Hashers last week. (I think)
Jigsaw was invited into the circle and a critique requested of the run from Josephine. Enjoying a return to the spotlight, Josephine questioned whether the hare knew where he was, alleged a debacle of a run with dodgy markings and no checks to return to after false trails. Rather surprisingly he scored it a 7.5/10 (please explain)
Blue Card was a reluctant food critic but was wise enough not to take advice from Pizza. His comments of “Nothing better than pea and ham soup on a cold winter night” said it all. 7.25/10
Cum Smoke was ushered into the circle to display the HHH show-bag, which will be available from the EKKA this year. The contents were
Literature – for a lack of spine
Literature – for erectile dysfunction – for all the soft c@#ks
Tea Cup – for the storm
Vaginal wash and tampons – for the pussies
A smiley face – for the lack of sense of humour
Strong as nails – so hashers could harden the f@ck up
Spare dummies – for the spits
Down Downs –
Michael – (Cum Smokes visitor (and employer))
Head Job – birthday boy
Now Loved and Blue Card – Leading Pizza astray at the pub
Future Down Down –
Crocodile – for fighting with a vanity at 2am and losing. No alcohol involved
Next Weeks run – Josephine @ Ashmore
Thanks to Jigsaw, a lot of effort put into the food and Two Dogs for standing in for Croc.
Finally a closing note from me, what a week of controversy, so lets end it with an apology. A blanket apology in fact, SORRY……….. to all you hashers that I am going to offend this year. Remember, there is no malice in the Harsh Words just humour. If I write about you, its not because I hate you, its because I love you.
Well not you Caustic (see, I just did it again) stop typing Caustic it was a joke.