Date : 18th February 2013
Hare : Caustic Crusader
Venue : Crown Green Bowling Club, Kalimna Court, Gold Coast
Weeks to Cum Smoke, the front running bastard – 10
For weeks now, Caustic has been dropping hints about just how good this run was to be. Still on a high from his last Reedy Creek outing big things were expected and so he looked distinctly crestfallen when we all met at an alternate venue due to the anticipated precipitation.
No Botcho tonight, taking the GM’s wife out for her birthday.
Yes, it was wet and had been for several days, the skies were decidedly ominous and the appearance of several hashers in anoraks lead no one to the impression that they might dodge the onslaught. That is, excepting the hare, who decided to avoid getting his hair wet running a live hare and instead stay at the club drinking.
Unperturbed, at least ten of us hardy souls embarked Northbound with a variety of intentions regarding route and duration. Dashing to the front Miscarriage trotted off to a fine pace and lead us all up the garden path, well more along the canal shoreline, as the rains began their steady decent.
After climbing over numerous slippery jetties, boat lines and other injury threatening obstacles we emerged back at the original start point, despite having completed less than a kilometre, this was clearly the hint for the peloton to ‘right turn Clyde’ back into the warm, dry and alcohol laden venue.
That left only the die-hards (or idiots if you prefer) Miscarriage, Two Dogs, the GM and myself; to continue under bundall road, around Albert park, back down Monaco Street and on home. A mere 5.37 km according to the dogs GPS gismo, but enjoyable none the less
The edges of our thirsts were slaked on a cold one outside the venue after which we all reunited inside the bowls club. As I entered the premises a question formed in my mind – “Why the hell had Caustic chosen this place for the run?”
As I ordered my drink from the bar it was obvious that there were two reasons, two very big reasons in fact.
That reminds me, two blokes in a pub, one returns from the bar very red faced. His mate asks ‘what’s up’.
“Well, you see the barmaid”
‘The one with the low cut top and huge t#ts?”
‘Yes, I meant to ask her for two pints of bitter, but by mistake I asked for two pints of titter’
“Don’t worry about it” replied his mate “It’s a Freudian slip, I do it all the time. Sunday morning I was having breakfast with the wife, I put down the paper and I meant to say can you pass me the milk please”
‘What did you actually say’?
“You make my life a f$cking misery”
The venue-arranged-food, either chicken schnitzel or seafood equivalent, was served in an adjacent dining room that looked as though it belonged in an old folks home. The only things missing were the strong odour of piss and a creepy guy to clean the drool of your chin.
Despite this, the food was more than adequate, fresh, tasty, good quality and best of all cheap. Flasher please note the appearance of non-Italian gravy – one containing garlic, salt, pepper and flavour.
During the meal I was asked if I knew where Cum Smoke was, as he has not made an appearance since before Christmas (and his Asia trip) I can only presume that either the antibiotics are not kicking in yet or he is in serious training. After all, he laid the gauntlet firmly at my feet several months ago when he took up his boxercise class with the intention of “smashing them on the Wednesday Hash, then giving you a run for your money” Bring it on.
Circle convened by the GM, as Kitchen Bitch attempted, rather poorly, to reduce the volume on the TV. Technology and the aged just don’t mix. (that’s what happens when you sell the last of the eggs)
The GM invited the Hare out and explained that the venue had been changed as Caustic had no head cover. You could try Advanced hair studios as it worked for Warnie.
Miscarriage, with tongue firmly in cheek, commented the run was well marked, good calling from the front.
Returner – Phantom – who has been here every Monday apparently
Miscarriage – on Palm Island (is that a metaphor for w%nking?)
RA’s corner – self-imposed DD for the rain, DD to Flasher for abuse re venue change.
Joke by Croc, which is currently enjoying its bicentennial celebrations.
POW, Kitchen Bitch took aim at most of the pack –
Caustic – for taking Pizzas shower wall gyprock
Miscarriage – large appendage
Flasher – for contents of POW bag
Rectum and Rug – soap dodging
Anyone encouraging migrants
Finally Miscarriage was chosen but a proxy was required as he wont be here next week. The proxy was elected as Sir Rabbit, who, incidentally had contributed most to KB getting it in the first place. Possibly a coincidence.
Next Weeks Run – Sir Rabbit at the newly renovated Rabbits Bar and Grill, Southport
Best wishes to Rock Hard, the current owner of 14 stitches due to causes unknown. Husbands find out eventually.
DD to Link for the hoax email, which he claimed was passed on in good faith (like AIDS? – Caustic)
Sir Prince currently basking in a 7degree heat wave on the homeland. Don’t forget to send him as many emails as possible whilst he is away, to make him feel as though he was missed when he gets back. You can get him on [email protected]
End of Circle by Josephine as Moonbeams was sporting a sore throat (and hangover)
Thanks to the barmaid for brightening up a dull night.
Hang On a Sec
Don’t believe a word of it.