Date : 22nd April 2013
Hare : Caustic and Iceman
Venue : Reedy Creek
Weeks to the new hierachy – 4, be afraid, be very afraid.
Lots of men came to the run. It was a good run in the bush. The food was nice and the circle was fun. Josephine you can stop reading now. Anyone with an intelligence quotient of more than 15 please read on (apologies a handful of you are excluded).
Seriously though, adult illiteracy is a big problem in Queensland, so we should support him. If you need help you can ring 07-844258922 or 07-T-H-I-C-K-T-W-A-T.
Finally the arrival of the long awaited Gold Coast ‘Brigadoon’ or the ‘Reedy Creek Classic’. Who knew what to expect, if the hype was to be believed then we were in for a treat of immense proportions (well according to the gospel of St. Caustic anyway).
Arrival at the venue showed a perfect picture postcard view of the Goldie from an elevated vantage point. Privacy looked to be assured as development of our cul-de-sac had yet to start and the only nearby dwelling was unoccupied. It was easy to tell we were down south by the sound of the melting polar icecap and by the fact that VD and Sir AH had made an appearance. Strangely though it was a no-show by the Bitch.
Chairs and tables were set up and the brazier stoked and ready. Some questioned the quantity of piled firewood as the athletes warmed up for the main event.
Our Hare Caustic explained the continually changing hash rules and markings and set us on our way. The walkers were each charged with bringing a log back for the fire.
The trail lead from a path onto a dirt track at which point we were on flour, undulating was one way to describe it, f*cking hilly was another. The trail was well marked with a multitude of checks and demanding to say the least, especially the numerous rocks with the potential for ankle breaking.
It essentially looped clockwise before entering a small quantity of bush and emerging very close to the point of departure. Very little was experienced in the way of tarmac, especially if you were one of the front-runners who cut the last corner.
6.33 km according to my phone app and about 55 mins worth of a proper hash trail in the middle of nowhere. The only minor criticism was the lack of a re-group.
A commendable performance at the front by Truck Tyres, also of note was Flasher not short cutting and putting up his hand for most of the checks and lastly……..Cum Smoke who ran the whole thing. No seriously, he ran the whole thing. Okay, he says he ran the whole thing.
Once back, it was evident that some of the walkers had raided a building site evidenced by the pile of treated pine alongside the Brazier. The smarter among us, took up a position upwind to avoid the poisonous fumes.
Iceman our food hare looked decidedly out of his comfort zone and explained he had a troublesome day. Maybe he was worried that the food would not meet the standard of the run.
The old faithful of starters – dipping chips and dips were fine, but the mains?
WOW is how I would start, Basmati rice light and fluffy – perfectly cooked – was the best I have had on a run and the chicken curry likewise. The chicken didn’t just fall off the bone but it melted on the tongue, delicious heat and just enough sauce. Ideal for the time of year.
Hand made ice-creams (shame about the budget vanilla) were lifted with the addition of fresh strawberries and mock-o-late sauce. Nice job. Clearly a conspiracy for run and nosh of the year.
The inaugural meeting of the Gold Coast knitting circle took place during the food, Cum Smoke, Sir Ah and Truck Tyres all swapped recipes and cooking tips to commemorate the purchase of Cum Smoke’s new Slow cooker (seems appropriate somehow).
Bent Banana called the circle to bear and invited out Caustic and Iceman. Iceman took time to give us a little history lesson, apparently Hitler conceded to Henry VIII this day in 1509.
The GM extolled the virtues of the venue – ‘great spot, new place, spent ages finding it’
Flasher was asked to critique the run – ‘pretty damn good, not enough hills or rocks, very good’
Of the walk, Ferret described his near heart arrhythmia due to a particularly large spider combined with a Sir Prince Valliant practical joke and complimented the new territory.
Rug said of the food – ‘Excellent, wonderful, I really enjoy swallowing whole chicken bones (some alleged it as Ibis) a good 8/10 which Moonbeams explained was better than a bad 8/10.
DD’s to two of our elder statesmen Moonbeams and Flasher, a Hashy birthday to both. Flasher revealed his birthday pressy from Mme Lash as a ticket to Iron Man 3D, Two Dogs suggested it was for a cinema in Darwin and came with a one-way plane ticket. Personally I didn’t agree, if I wanted rid of him, Darwin would not be far enough.
Arse Up (who has lost 10kg on the HIV diet) – been to the Nash Hash in the Philippines where he met up with BB, Armpit, Testicles, Pit Stop and others.
Pressy for the GM, a flammable toothbrush kit.
The RA entered the circle by enquiring who had collected the wood as most appeared to be sat on their arses drinking the Hash out of piss. DD’s to VD, Shat and Sir AH all of whom did actually collect wood whilst drinking their own piss, never let the truth get in the way of a good charge. A poor joke ensued which was overlooked after Ferret entertained us with an amusing ethnic offering.
Sir Slab presented the GM with $3 note which sounds to be worth exponentially more to those living in Cuba.
DD offered to Cum Smoke for almost yodeling on the trail, Sir Rabbit suggested
Using the trumpet, should mouth to mouth be required. DD to Hard On for standing in for kitchen Bitch and Caustic for bagging the Hash Trash.
DD to Now Loved for destruction of Hash property (a chair) to cries of you fat B#st#rd. Cum Smoke established a Now Loved spiraling crime pattern, first car door handles now outdoor furniture, where will it end.
POW Josephine confirmed he is a simple-minded man who was unable to come up with anything so he gave the Prick to Rectum, (with only 28 sleeps until the AGPU). Indicative of this year’s hierarchy, Rectum accepted the award without claiming a committee exemption nor substituting a proxy.
LAST REMINDER – the bike ride is tomorrow (Thurs) at Pizzy Park, Miami, near to the tennis courts. There are two choices, a 10km one for the mentally and physically handicapped, shirt lifters and pedophiles, alternatively if you still own a set and regularly produce testosterone there is 19.3km for the men.
DON’T FORGET – NASH HASH NEXT WEEK SO OUR RUN IS ON TUESDAY.
There will be a Monday run at the Border Hash but it is very close to Cockroaches territory. Also a prelube on Wednesday
If you are unsure, ask somebody who cares, clearly not our hash then, or look at the web.
End of circle almost by Jospehine who unwisely attempted to tread on the toes of Moonbeams.
Thanks to Caustic and Iceman, well worth the journey down and nice to see our excellent trailer being put to good use.
Hang On a Sec
Don’t believe a word of it.