Run 1870
Date:2/09/2013
Location: Mudgeeraba
Hare: Sir AH
Runners: 31
BOOZE MASTER
The first shock of the evening was the meteoric rise in drink prices of up to 50% in 1 week introduced by Swindler standing in for Show Pony.
All drinks now $3 he announced to those who wanted to hear. He mumbled something about the state of the books being far worse than he imagined and in true Tony Abbott style would have to increase prices and cut expenditure in an attempt to bring a surplus to the account by fiscal 2015! Next week cold drinks on ice will be an additional charge in a display of “user pays”. You can always have warm beer at a reduced price he suggested.
Bring back Show Pony.
THE CIRCLE
The GM Now Loved made a rare guest appearance resplendent in a formal Tibeten Princess head dress.
The Hare Sir AH was called out front and centre. Big Unit still new to Hash and wanting to suck up said it was a good run to an immediate cry of ‘bullshit”
Rectum said it was a good length but many runners took more than an hour with the resultant suggestion to “ice the bastards”.
“I didn’t need the tour of Skilled Park”
Caustic Crusader commented the Tour de Mudgeeraba was a little excessive.
Flasher in his own style was overheard on the run muttering this is long and boring. I would rather be out fishing with Rex Hunt and the Wednesday Wobblers.
Rug decided the Nosh was pretty good, Bolognese with Rice, Pasta and high quality bread. However the most impressive thing for Rug was the inclusion of minute traces of Olives – just enough to keep Cumsmoke away. Almost a 9 so 8.8.
Shat wanted the recipe that would make the pasta all stick together like he had tonight.
Swindler was given a DD for falling in love with a Maori Fisherwoman on the fishing trip. So sweet it was interracial love on the high seas.
Rug is off on a secret mission to Syria working for the old firm so keep an eye out for Rug with a towel on his head at the back of the crowd on CNN and Al Jazeera.
Rock Hard just back from 7 weeks holding up his end in Europe returned without a gift for the GM – so thoughtless and received a well deserved DD.
Seedy soon to return to his farm growing ‘secret undisclosed crops’ in Bathurst was given a DD When it was pointed out he was a Pr…k Relation of Swindlers he quickly clarified matters that Swindler was the Pr..k and he was the relation.
A NAMING
It is an auspicious occasion when a new Hasher is officially baptised by being given a Hash Name. Tonight it was the official naming of the Big Unit. Now Tom Waterhouse had been offering odds on that Big Unit would officially be named Big Unit because he is a Big Unit. Well in a stroke of naming genius the GM made the previously known Big Unit kneel before him. He went down on his knees as the Big Unit and arose as LURCH. What a sweet and appropriate name. Big Unit is no more henceforth its LURCH.
THE RELIGEOUS ADVISOR
Miscarriage announced there was a new position created to deal with a situation with the reengineered water tank on the Hash Trailer. At great expense, effort, ingenuity and insurance claim funds Sir Black Stump has moved the water tank from the top of the trailer to the bottom to thawt the demons of gravity from seizing the trailer once again and laying it on its side. This has caused a little issue in that the pump is now above the water tank and needs a good suck to prime the pump and get things flowing. This is a highly responsible position awarded to a hasher who knows how to suck – Hard On. Keep on sucking Hard On/Hash Suck.
Sir Prince Valiant when invited to the football on Sunday by the RA declined because he had some “polishing” to do. What the…?
By special request all Hashers were asked after the Nosh to return the cut crystal goblets used to serve the dessert so they could be used again by the Gold Coast Gourmet Hash. Sir Slab not yet on board with the idea of recycling was spotted by the RA dumping said crystal goblet in the bin.
Two Sirs drinks ALL Sirs drink!
POW
Slug was called out in “uniform” to hand on the POW. He waffled for awhile perhaps his mind casting back to the same time last week when he was given the POW for certain unspeakable acts in foreign lands.
After almost giving it to Sir Prince for staying home to do some “polishing” he awarded it to Sir Slab for throwing out the Hash Crystal!
NEXT WEEKS RUN
Care Free – details on the website.
BLUE CARDS JOKE OF THE WEEK
I love being politically correct!
A Catholic nun was sitting on a train opposite a Muslim man who was
wearing a turban eating fresh shrimp.
Every time he ate one he spat the tail in her direction, requiring her
to deflect it.
Eventually she had enough and pulled the Emergency Cord.
The Muslim looked at her and said, “You’ll get fined $250 for doing
that, you stupid Catholic bitch.”
She laughed and said, “When I cry ‘rape’ and they smell your fingers,
you’ll get 10 years, you towel-headed Camel-f*cker.”
On On
Blue card
Great report Blue Card. The high cost of hashing is driving us poor retired hashers (and ex retired) to go overseas to satisfy our hash instincts. For me the beer price increase was the last straw. Here at one of the Atlanta Hashes this evening, the hash fees were $8 which included food and all the keg beer you could drink. It is time to question whether the aforementioned poor retired hashers can indirectly afford to sponsor the Sir Black Stump Porsche Racing Team as well as picking up the tab for representing Australia at international level in geriatric triathlons. On – On Rug