Run 1871

Run 1871
Location: Parkwood
Hare: Carefree and a few Helpers
Runners: 26


Well how things have changed with a Liberal government. Things are certainly looking up if the Nosh tonight was any indication. Talk about the Gourmet Hash – 2 huge salmon cooked whole in wet paper but more about that later.

We all set off on the run with some deep concerns as the assistant Booze Master Truck Tyres was no where to be seen. SWINDLER after only 1 week on the job had absented himself after pulling a Campbell Newman the week before putting booze prices up 50%

Who should we spot half way through the run driving through the new Gold Coast Hospital looking left and right for a Hash group than TRUCK TYRES! To bad the directions clearly indicated the Griffith University.


CROC was first to be outed by the RA for conduct likely to bring the Hash into disrepute. In a voice loud enough to be heard at the new hospital he had called out ” alright you …… (Women’s Genitals) listen up!

BENT BANANA when asked about the run said it was a good venue.

TWO DOGS reported that while the directions started as well marked they soon went downhill on the flat section and he found the runners were going in circles and lapping the walkers.

The HARE CAREFREE had a team of chefs working under his role as chief chef and they all got a DD – Sir AH, KWAKKA, KITCHEN BITCH, and SIR SLAB.

LURCH said it was the best meal he had EVER had and gave the Nosh a 9.3 while MOONBEAMS equally impressed gave it a 9.35.

The RA was struggling with a lost voice due to a suspected deep throat infection.

MISSING LINK was really missing as he was confined to hospital with a blocked bowel.

“Give him caster oil”

“I knew he was full of shit”

“Does that mean he can’t mow my lawn tomorrow”. Sir Prince.

“I will take his jobs.” Jigsaw

“Should we take up a collection for a funeral plan”. Croc.


The RA was impressed by our preference system for the Senate and the fact that a group of lunatics had been elected including the Motoring Party in Victoria with 1.8% of the vote.  The hash petrol head was called out as a supporter- Josephine. 2 Dogs got a similar treatment as a supporter of the Hunting Party who look like winning a seat with 500 votes.

SIR CUMFERENCE was given a DD for being a stand in double for Clive Palmer.

LURCH got a mention in dispatches for volunteering to clean up the rubbish and trying to impress and get on next years hierarchy.


Last week awarded to Sir S.

FLASHER AND MADAM LASH for insisting on the honeymoon suite at the Boonah Hotel, or TRUCK TYRES for annoying Sir Slab and screwing up his bookings in Yangon Hotel but no the award went to JIGSAW for putting his foot in the booze bucket.


Will be a pub run from the Highland Park Tavern.


Contributed by Caustic


The Indian With One Testicle

There once was an Indian who had only one testicle

and whose given name was ‘Onestone’. He hated that

name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone.

After years and years of torment, Onestone finally

cracked and said,’ If anyone calls me Onestone

again I will kill them!’

The word got around and nobody called

him that any more.

Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird

forgot and said, ‘Good morning, Onestone.’   He

jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into

the forest where he made love to her all day and

all night. He made love to her all the next day,

until Blue Bird died from exhaustion.

The word got around that Onestone meant what

he promised he would do. Years went by and no

one dared call him by his given name until A woman

named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being

away. Yellow Bird , who wasBlue Bird’s cousin, was

overjoyed when she saw Onestone. She hugged him

and said, ‘Good to see you, Onestone.’

Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest,

then he made love to her all day, made love to her all

night, made love to her all the next day, made love to

her all the next night, butYellow Bird wouldn’t die!

Why ???

OH, come on…. take a guess !!!

Think about it !!!

You’re going to love this !!!

Everyone knows…

You can’t kill Two Birds

Hash Pictures Mobile Link

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