Run 1873 Words of Wisdom … by SHAT
Not a big turn-out for this run in familiar territory at Nobby’s, only 20 runners. Yet, by objective observation, this group of brave runners surely represent the Hash elite, save RECTUM, conspicuous by his absence. But there was FLASHER, tall not but so strong and willing. And MISSING LINK & BOTCHO, so athletic and primed like coiled springs. ROCK HARD, very focused and looking super fit. The three sirs present, SIRs SLAB, RABBIT & AH together looking like Olympic icons. What about SIR PRINCE VALLIANT, you ask. Well, he was not present at the start of the run – instead he joined the pack in a gentlemanly like fashion strolling down from his lounge room as the runners passed his residence, leaving his good wife The Princess to drop off his bag at the run venue. Good work SPV.
The limits of time prevent one from going through the merits all present, yet special mention must be made of KITCHEN BITCH, SIR AH & SHOWPONY who, despite being battered and wrecked by the cruelness of time, actually ran a couple of steps as the pack set out. Very impressive. Keep it up guys.
SLUG the Hare set a tricky but clearly marked run; well sort of. On more than one occasion I did see the pack wandering around lost in side streets, like dazed sheep. The home trail passed the Miami Hotel then up and over the hill, down the stairs into our Nobby’s park venue. Unfortunately, not one runner managed to find this section of the trail and on one ran in from this direction.
By the finish of the run the pack were well and truly strung out. Just over the hour, TWO DOGS was first home and not happy: “9.2k”, he exclaimed, “There should be a rule about this”! CAUSTIC too seemed a tad disgruntled: “No chalk. Too firkin long”.
Nonetheless, CAUSTIC rated the run 9 out of 10 … “less 1 point for every firkin busy road crossing” giving a net result of 3. Not bad SLUG. Accept the 9.
Chilli Con Carne!! Beautifully prepared by SLUG’s squeeze PUSSY GALORE. But, hey, no dessert! ( Sorry Slug, I believe we had a desert!!! I missed out. I was into my second bottle of red when the Strawberries and Ice Cream appeared, had a memory lapse) MISSING LINK gave the nosh a rating of 8; BENT BANANA awarded 7.5. An average of 7.75. Well done SLUG.
Four returning runners: PIZZA, PILE DRIVER, PHANTOM & TWO DOGS. Where have they been? Well, PIZZA & PILE DRIVER claim they have been busy working (yeah, right). PHANTOM has been very busy doing Phantom stuff. TWO DOGS meanwhile has been swanning around the Whitsundays where he met up with HARD ON & AUSSIE for a secret men’s business meeting around a bottle of red, or four. TWO DOGS presented the GM with some used golf tees he found on the Hamilton Island golf course … lovely thought TWO DOGS.
RA MISCARRIAGE gave MISSING LINK a disciplinary down-down for secret training and for distributing peptides; LINK pleaded guilty. SIR PRINCE VALLIANT also suffered the RA’s ire for dobbing-in the RA to help out at MOONBEAM’s market stall.; JOSEPHINE stood-in for MOONBEAMS’ down-down. SHOWPONY too was reprimanded for giving the RA a hand massage … boys please, remember Rule 1.
PRICK OF THE WEEK: FLASHER received the PoW award last week at the Highland Park Taven where the run was washed out. Flowing from that traumatic experience, FLASHER nominated three miscreants for this weeks award: BOTCHO and BENT BANANA who (according to FLASHER) refused to help him re-set the run; and CAUSTIC who called him a “firkin lazy karnt” for seeking help to reset the run.
The winner: CAUSTIC
Footnote: CAUSTIC indeed is a worthy Prick. He was asked by BLUE CARD to be the stand-in scribe for this weeks run, but quickly withdrew when he saw me with a pen in my hand. Shame CAUSTIC.