Run 1881

Run 1881
Location:Pony Club Oxenford
Runners: 24

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After a wild and woolly late afternoon hail storm and high winds centred over Oxenford the pack set off to follow a carefully marked trail that no longer existed.

The GM called the circle in the shape of a rectangle with everybody sitting down at the tables like cabinet ministers with the Prime Minister chairing matters.

Crocodile offered the opinion that it was a great run washed out by hail. Two Dogs reported that the cranky guy on the corner confirmed that it was Route or was it Root Street. He scored it a 7. Croc complained about the absent RA who seemed to have no capacity to arrange good weather on hash night. Rectum offered a second opinion and scored the run a 5 out 10 as it only took 35 minutes for the run.

Rug remarked that he may only come to Hash once a month to get a monthly allocation of Hamburger for dinner. He was so over Hash Burgers that in a truly telling statement said he was now looking forward to the Cum Smoke  nosh next week.

KB was quick to point out that despite the complaints of Rug he actually had FOUR hamburgers.

Rugs scored the nosh a 6.75 and Missing Link in a second opinion scored it a 4.6. The GM. in a sweeping feat of mathematics the GM made it an average of 7.5.

Croc was thanked for providing some birthday red wine.


Rectum confessed that he had just been “working”. To be fair he is very busy these days working exclusively for Hash members giving new meaning to the term Hash Cash.

Slug rambled on for 10 minutes about going hashing in Kunming and the Philippines with Flasher.

The GM complained that the gift raspberry flavoured triple ribbed edible condoms that Flasher gave him last week were too small. Flasher responded that seemed strange as he tried them and they were too big for him.


Circumference with only 5 minutes notice stood in as acting RA. Touch Tyres owned up to a break and enter on the club house to get the lights switched on. Caustic Crusader quipped TT had the lights on but nobody was home.

2 Dogs and Rug were called out for upsetting the cranky resident on the corner who got upset when they ran across his manicured front lawn. Rug tried to pacify the guy by telling him ” if its private property put up a fence”.

2 Dogs getting a second wind informed all present how Shat had rolled up to the long lunch of prawns and beer around the pool after the Yamba Bike Ride and promptly knocked over his very expensive bottle of red wine. On the subject of the bike ride there was a casualty. Long story short Sir Slab in a choice between hitting a car and bailing off the bike took the latter option and did some minor damage to an ankle which blew up like a football. After being medivaced to McLean Hospital by Lady Slab he returned to the still in progress lunch at 4 pm looking for sympathy. Didn’t get too much.


Lurch was going to give it to Slug for his 10 minute oratory on his latest overseas trip.

However he regaled us with a recent encounter with the constabulary when he was pulled up driving his bosses ute which turns out it was unregistered, cancelled number plates and       received an on the spot fine for $880. Cum Smoke is debating whether he owns the ute or does the neighbour 2 doors away who agreed to sell it to Cum Smoke. Stay tuned next week to hear who paid the $880 from the POW Cum Smoke.


Cum Smoke from Pacific Pines


A preacher said, “Anyone with ‘special needs’ who wants to be prayed over, please come forward to the front by the altar.”  

With that, an Aboriginal man got in line, and when it was his turn, the Preacher asked, “Mulrunji, what do you want me to pray about for you?”

Mulrunji replied, “Preacher, I need you to pray for help with my hearing.”

The preacher put one finger of one hand in Mulrunji’s ear, placed his other hand on top of Mulrunji’s head, and then  prayed and prayed and prayed.  

He prayed to the ‘Almighty’ for Mulrunji, and the whole congregation joined in with great enthusiasm.

After a few minutes, the preacher removed his hands, stood back and asked,
“Mulrunji, how is your hearing now?”

Mulrunji answered, “I don’t know. It ain’t ’til next week!”

On On

Blue Card

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