Hare: Sir Blackstump & Sir AH
Well, if we thought that run sites couldn’t get any more remote than last week’s run from the future site of Miscarriage Mansions in Gilston, we were totally wrong!! Tonight’s run commenced at the corner of Nerang-Murwillumbah Road and Beechmont Road at Advancetown, and I thought Advancetown was somewhere that had gone underwater when they built the Hinze Dam…clearly it’s still here!
The hardy pack of runners gathered at the designated site by the side of a very busy road and we all thought this was going to be a hard run.. “no bloody flat bits around here” Caustic very casually observed and another Hasher was heard to comment “If Blackie’s had anything to do with this (which he had!) it’s going to be a prick of a run!”.
Well, both comments were pretty well on the mark. At the commencement of the run, the hares were called out, being Sir AH and Sir Blackie, and we soon found out that Sir AH was the one responsible for the nosh and Blackie had set the run. The briefing was short and to the point…”you go up into the forest, it’s marked with a bit of flour and mostly toilet paper..the paper is on your right…there’s no false trails and if you suddenly find that the paper is on your left, well it means you’re lost…and if you don’t see any paper you’re well and truly fucked!”. As a precautionary measure, some of us, including yours truly, took the precaution of having two torches in case we got lost in the wilderness.
Up hill and down dale we all went…a true “Blackie run” and luckily there were no major mishaps on the run, despite the quite treacherous hills being conquered in the pitch black. For the second week in a row it seemed that there were many more runners than walkers..is it because we’re all getting fitter or because the old geriatrics are finding it too cold to venture out on a Monday night?? Poor old dears, it will get warmer soon enough!! The numerous checks along the way succeeded in keeping us fairly close to each other…remember our credo guys… “no man left behind!!”.
We all made it back to the start where all our cars were parked and we were then given directions to the site of the On On, which was down the road at the site of a future housing development. A very impressive location indeed, particularly as we were able to use the verandah of the sales office building. “Did we get permission to be here AH?” I asked innocently, to which AH replied… “hahaha…are you kidding…they would have told us to fuck off!”…luckily there were no roving security guards to tell us to do precisely that.
Last in from the run were Two Dogs, Botcho and Blackie the hare, apparently because they were the only ones who did the whole run, as most of us missed a couple of obscure arrows on the road which re-directed us back into the bush, and only Blackie and his companions managed to spot them.
In all, a great run out in the bush!
As we all arrived at the site of the On On, we were treated to the site of the trusty Hash trailer, all set up, lights blazing, the brazier emitting its welcoming warmth and the bloody walkers all sitting around comfortably crapping on to each other. Nice to see the likes of Moonbeams and Showpony back in our midst.
We all realised after a while that we were missing someone…Two Dogs, our esteemed RA…apparently his flash new $150,000 Mercedes SUV had shat itself and he had to wait for RACQ to come and get him out of trouble…apparently these over-priced shitboxes can’t be jump started like the normal cars that plebs like yours truly drive!! It took a lot of effort to keep the hungry hordes from devouring everything before Two Dogs arrived on the scene….good work Sir AH!
First course was a lovely tomato soup and Sir AH even gave me the recipe..if you’re interested, it was 15 cans of Aldi tomato soup, a generous amount of sweet chilli sauce, sugar and black pepper…brilliant! It just goes to show that fine food does not have to be complicated. The dollops of cream in each cup topped it off nicely and the croutons of toast, cut into little pieces were also a nice touch.
Mains consisted of a beautiful Thai-style chicken curry served with steamed rice…bloody lovely and heaps for us all to be able to have seconds, thirds…and in the case of those more glutinous amongst our ranks, fourths and fifths.
Dessert consisted of freshly heated apple pies with lashings of custard. Suffice to say that we were all stuffed to the gills and very satisfied with the meal. Great job AH!!….and you too Blackie, if you had anything at all to do with the nosh.
The circle started with an important announcement from the GM..the Hash is going “green”…commencing in August there will be a one month amnesty and all Hashers will need their own plates and dessert bowls and if you are bringing a visitor, bring one for them too. It is costing us too much money to buy “throw away” plastic plates and bowls. During the amnesty, no plate means you go to the back of the queue…after the amnesty, no plate means no nosh, unless you want to eat out of the palm of your hand!!
The Sirs will from now on be allowed to go to the front of the nosh queue, but only if accompanied by both of their parents…hmmm..here’s a thought…can you bring them along in little urns???
The run assessment was given by our visitor for today, Hot Dick from the San Franisco Gypsy Hash….his assessment… ”the run sucked!!”…bloody ungrateful Yank!! He also made some comment about Blackie having gone from 3 ply to single ply toilet paper!
Slug provided an assessment of the walk…on which he was accompanied by Sir Prince, Sir Rabbit and Link (huh? I could have sworn that Link was on the run with us).. “a very nice walk!”
Lurch gave his assessment of the nosh…in his usual understated manner…”very enjoyable!”.
Two Dogs, our venerable RA thanked the outgoing committee for the trip to Japan for five weeks and presented to the GM a bandanna as worn by the Kamikaze pilots in WWII and a ceremonial Hari-Kari sword…what a bloody suck-up!! Two Dogs failed in his undertaking to not buy any stupid clothing and now insists that we must all wear a silly hat at circle from now on…bloody hell!!
Prick of the Week passed from Caustic to Sir Blackie for having the audacity to get priority servicing at the local bike shop…these excuses are getting pretty bloody lame!!
The “Useless” shirt was passed from KB to the RA on account of his Mercedes SUV turning to shit tonight.
There were several miscellaneous charges from the floor tonight but I fear boredom is setting in..at least it is at this end, so I won’t bore you with the details. If you were there, you know what happened, if you weren’t there, you won’t give a shit anyway.
Our visitor, Hard Dick, came out to the front and announced that a fellow Gypsy Hasher, Danglin’ Anglin’, had recently passed away, apparently falling off a cliff on a Hash run and he had indicated that if he was to pass away, he wanted his favorite Hash shirt to be burnt in a fire at an Australian hash, many of which he remembered with fondness, so up in flames went the shirt accompanied by a rendition of the Hash Hymn…RIP…fuck him indeed!
Mention must be made of the monumental efforts of our elder statesmen, Moonbeams and Showpony for lugging the firewood up the hill while we all ran…good on you guys..on on!
Circle ended with the usual rendition by Moonbeams.
Next week’s run…a RABBIT theme as it is Bugs Bunny’s 75th birthday. Get out your best Rabbit gear. Top prize for the best dressed Rabbit.