Hare: Botcho & Flasher
“It’s all virgin territory guys, untouched by human feet…never mind that we’re here in Len Fox Park, that’s just to trick you into complacency!”…or words to that effect were uttered by our co-hares tonight, Flasher and Botcho…none of us believed it of course, but as soon as we headed south through the park and underneath the Lotus Creek Bridge, one hasher said “geez, we’ve never been here before!!….thank goodness it’s bloody low tide or we’d be swimming through this creed!!” ….so in fact we hadn’t been deceived….well, not that much! And thus started our adventure run through the wilds of Labrador…….….
The Run (and walk…yawn yawn!):
Yours truly did the run tonight, as did an inspiring number of others who sometimes do the walk…nice to have you trumpeting along with us Sir Rabbit! In saying that, Sir Rabbit managed to disappear half way through the run and it is believed that he actually went home for a quick ale before reappearing for the nosh! Others who were on the run also seemed to suddenly disappear from sight…must be a lot of shortcutting bastards because when your faithful scribe finished up, there were most of the runners already tucking into the booze and potato crisps!! I had stayed with Botcho virtually all the way and nobody overtook us…youse are all a pack of bloody cheatin’ bastards!!
The run was just on 7.00 km, or at least that’s what my Croatian mate Strava told me and he certainly can’t be wrong! The hares are to be congratulated on setting a run that for what is really well-trodden territory, nevertheless maintained our interest…including having two dogs chasing at the heels of our Grand Master…and I don’t mean our RA, I mean two little furry animals. Thankfully, with several of us yelling out “attack dogs! Attack dogs!” and Sir Rabbit sounding his horn, the GM managed to avoid injury!
Either by accident or on purpose, the run was also set out in such a way that we all managed to stay fairly close to each other, maybe something to do with the “international standard markings” and the five-way checks, of which there must have been at least fifteen! Despite this praise, no Flasher, no matter how much you hassle me on Facebook, I cannot agree that this was the run of the year!!
The walk was, according to several participants, a “good walk down to the tavern and back” and Rock Hard observed that “The Grand was very good!”. It seems that due to advancing age and the associated dementia that obviously goes with it, Shat and the Big-O had drinks in the public bar and Hard On had trouble finding them so had a drink in the private bar out the back.
When we arrived back from the run, the sausages were sizzling on the electric council barbeques at a rate of….half the speed a snail would travel and Colonel Klink observed “the problem with these fuckin’ barbeques is that they’re not meant for 600 sausages!”.
Entrees consisted of chips and corn chips…a clue that this was going to be a “back to basics” nosh! The mains of sausages and chilli onions also did not disappoint on the B2B front and the best bit of it for those of us on the SRS (SlugRugShat) diet was the pleasure we all got from emptying out the cheese from the bread (white poison) rolls onto our plates stacked high with sausages and onion!! The definite upside of the meal was the upside-down “Australian trifle”…how on earth two refugees from the UK and NZ think they can create anything Australian is beyond me!! Whatever it can be described as, it was definitely good! Truckie’s view of the dessert… “I reckon it was pretty solid..you must have put a bag of sand and cement in it!!”.
The GM started the circle with one of his typically bad taste jokes…this was was the “isn’t that fantastic in lieu of who gives a fuck” one…yawn, yawn, heard it before!!! Can’t blame him for trying though (very bloody trying!!).
Botcho and Flasher were called out the front and praised for their virgin territory run over well-trodden territory and a warning was issued to all hashers that runs are not permitted from Len Fox Park!!
as the only runner who did the whole run, was asked for his opinion…and denied being the first runner in… “I peaked early and Two Dogs and Bent Banana beat me in”.
Next it was the RA’s turn out the front and he called Miscarriage out to introduce our two visitors… “I just thought I’d bring the average age of the Hash down a bit so I’d like to introduce me good mate Phil, also known as Splinter and me dad Ron, who you all know….Phil’s only 92 and me dad’s 85!!”.
Next victims were Miscarriage (again), Sir Slab, Truckie and Caustic (in absentia)…well done in representing our Hash at the Kirra Triathlon..apparently Slab and Caustic blitzed the field on their bikes.
Truckie trod another well-worn path to centre stage….and guess what..yep! the silly dill forgot to bring the Useless shirt…he may as well be awarded in perpetuity if this keeps up!
Prick of the Week…you will all recall it was given to Arse-Up last week in order to compel attendance tonight…well, it didn’t work! He wasn’t here but he did appoint Bent Banana as his agent and it was duly awarded to none other than Miscarriage…for all his sundry misdemeanours!….another likely candidate for the award of POW in perpetuity I think.
The BIG-O was called out to centre stage as a returning runner…apparently he has been running amok (definition: behave uncontrollably/disruptively) in the Philippines…welcome back!!
Miscarriage made a feeble attempt at having a charge laid against Fullershit….Sir Rabbit was asked to adjudicate and deemed it a load of crap!
….and that good Sirs (and others) is your bloomin’ lot for another week!!
Next Week’s run will be from the park at Main Beach…100 metres down from the Southport Surf Club (in other words…Carefree’s usual spot!)…it will be worth coming….your trusty scribe is doing a curry for the mains!!