Run: Run 2007
Hare: Aussie & BB
The PIZZA REDEMPTION RUN…..THE AUSSIE EXTRAGANZA…THE PIZZA HUT SPECIAL ……call it what you will, but those of you who decided to stay away tonight would definitely regret it if you knew what you were missing out on tonight…and I say that quite seriously!!…..
We all gathered at the Pizza Hut on Slatyer Avenue, at Bundall in anticipation of, well…. probably not much at all really, although there were birthday Crownies on offer as a consolation (care of yours truly) if everything else turned to shit……well, were we in for a surprise….
The run was actually supposed to have been set by Mr Pizza tonight but there was a ring-in…..BB from Laos had come to our shores and was recruited at short notice to set the run. When we saw him sitting there nursing a bit of a bung knee, we all naturally thought “it won’t be too tough, this old codger wouldn’t have been able to set too hard a run”…well, he certainly wanted to sort out the wimps from what he regards as “true hashers” who should be able to complete a 10km run over Laotian mountains in the middle of monsoonal downpours…telling us that he’d gone easy on us and the run was “only about 9km”….fucking hell!! What were we in for?? Some poor soul ventured to ask “what about the walkers?”, only to be met with the response “this is the fucking hash, not a knitting club…and the Hash is for running!…if you’re walking just follow the runner’s trail and when you’ve had enough, come back!”…fair enough too! BB’s lovely missus, TickTock, stayed behind to assist Aussie in the kitchen with preparing the Nosh.
To the trumpet calls from Sir Rabbit, off we ventured into the wilderness of Bundall and on into the heights of Ashmore, up hill down dale (I thought it was mostly flat around the Pizza Hut!) and if there were hills to be found, then BB found them all!!
We huffed and we puffed up and down, on streets, through parks, here, there and everywhere, with people being left behind and then suddenly reappearing at the front miraculously….how the hell did Latrine manage it so many times is what I want to know!!
The checks were good for keeping us mostly together, although I do believe that the old “no man left behind” rule is now founded less on actual practice and has become more part of Hash folklore, the same as the mullet haircuts and knee-high socks of yesteryear. Missing Link at one stage, when asked where the hell we were responded with a classic….”we’re fucked and far from home guys!”
Towards the end of the run, at about the 7.00km mark there was a check, with an arrow in one direction (towards home) being marked as “whimps” and the other arrow (heading fuck knows where) marked “Hashers”….it would seem that 99.9% of us had considered that this was as good a point as any to head for home given that it was at the top of a hill and the direction home was all downhill, and we did, proudly adopting the “whimp” label! Of course, there’s always got to be someone who wants to make a name for themselves and on this occasion it was none other than Sir Botcho who came home about half an hour after the rest of the group, bleating on about having been the only one to have done the full run! As it turns out, BB informed us that no matter which option you took, the distance home was about the same, but good on you for fighting your way through the pain and exhaustion barrier Botcho!.
It has to be said that tonight’s run had one very significant turn of events, it was the first (and probably the last) time that Weekly, by some stroke of luck rather than design, was the first one to have found the “on on” out of the park and onto Slatyer Avenue near the 7-11 and proudly bellowed “ON ON!!!”, overcome with glee at his achievement and….wait for it, again by luck timed the end of his walk to coincide with the returning runners and led them all home, accompanied by Sir Prince Valiant, again gleefully yelling “ON ON!!”. Well done Weekly!
In all, a great run, probably aided by the fact that Pizza had bugger-all to do with it!!
Cynism and scepticism went flying out the window tonight as Pizza brought out as the starters….you guessed it….pizzas!! In order to maintain some civility and prevent the hordes from pouncing on them…Pizza announced that the first ones were for the current members of the hierarchy, to which yours truly and his fellow hierarchy responded instantaneously, lunging forward towards the pizzas, only to be shouldered by members of last year’s hierarchy, including Rock Hard, who was heard to mutter “you can all fuck off, we have seniority over you pricks!” Power obviously went to their heads last year, oh, and onto their backs also with their fine Kathmandu windcheaters!! Nooooo….we don’t forget!!.
Mains was pasta with a lovely spaghetti Bolognese sauce and grated parmesan cheese available for sprinkling,….fine food Aussie, fine food indeed…you never disappoint on the nosh front!! Did TickTock have anything to do with the fact that it was such a fine meal?
Dessert was lovely apple pies with Neopolitan ice-cream…another fine course and there were pies left over at the end…my missus and daughter enjoyed the two that I took home for them, as I am sure others also did who got to have the left overs.
Although I didn’t have any, I am assured that Pizza also had on tap some of his fine beers…thanks for that Pizza…as well as for the fire-water that you handed to some during the night, and in circle.
The meal being tidied away, the hordes were all called to order and the GM then brought tonight’s organisers out the front…Pizza, BB (Laos variety, not to be confused with our very own BB) and of course the master chef, Aussie. A well deserved “down down” guys and in my humble opinion you have redeemed yourself Pizza, although as Circle progressed your behaviour did deteriorate markedly as the alcohol obviously started to have full effect!!
Weekly proudly gave a run report tonight, of course going on and on about having called the “on on” in both directions and proclaiming that it probably won’t ever happen again.
Bluecard gave the report on the nosh….”I was warned not to expect much and I wasn’t disappointed!!”…I think what he means is that he didn’t expect much but the meal was beyond his wildest non-expectations!!
Botcho was brought out the front to be given a platform to continue his bragging about being the only one to do the whole run…ok, ok….”down down” and all that stuff for you!
Aussie came out to receive credit as tonight’s master chef…and when presented with a glass of Pizza’s fire water for his “down down” said “is this supposed to go in me or my car??”
Returning runners were next to be paraded….Kwakka, Hard On, Swindler, and Aussie (yet again out the front)….with the latter obviously having done a total memory wipe whilst away, forgetting the “no hats” rule when out the front and the one about having to wear hash gear to Hash….and no, having “Aussie” emblazoned on everything including your underdaks does not count as Hash gear!!!
Next on to the RA’s session…of course, first one dragged out the front kicking and screaming was Miscarriage, this time on a charge of luring everyone on false trails. Next out are our visitors tonight, Mikipaedia (a Warriors rider) and Peter, a dodgy real estate agent friend of mine as it happens.
My notes indicate that Kwakka and Swindler came out the front yet again…I cannot remember why, maybe just to have some of that fire-water to fuel the engines for the hard ride home back to Chevron Island.
Next out the front…Slug bearing gifts for the GM from his travels…a bloody nice T-shirt too…well done Slug and welcome back!
Bent Banana (yes, our BB) was welcomed back after his trip and he managed to smuggle a bottle of Bintang beer for the GM.
Ferrett, who has been having an alcohol-fuelled cruise of goodness knows where also presented a gift to the GM…wasabi-flavoured seaweed….I am still waiting for somebody to come back from the Philippines bearing a gift of chicken’s feet, I really am!
Hang on, my notes have gone awry guys, I have it that returning runners were now called out….Slug, BB and Ferrett…fuck! I don’t know, maybe it was the fumes from the fire-water that got to me at this stage of the night, or maybe the bellowing from Pizza as he succumbed to the effects of far too much alcohol, bugger it, who cares!!
Upcoming events…Anzac Day ride…read the web page….oh, and next week’s run, yep, back to the pony club at Nerang Forest….bring good torches guys…I nearly killed myself last time out there!
………………………….is it just me, or did Mme Latrine and his brother-in.law Eddy disappear half way through the night?
That’s all folks!!
Fanny Charmer …