TO BE FOREVER REMEMBERED AS THE 2016 DOUBLE DISILLUSION AGPU
Broadbeach was the location of the 2016 AGPU. Good use was made of the parks, bars and restaurants with all venues a short stroll from each other.
Beers and nibblies which included fresh salmon were enjoyed by the pack which swelled as small groups arrived together from the various groups of hashers travelling together. The resident pyrotechnomaniac arrived as late as usual but with a bang just to make sure everyone knew he had entered the party precinct.
The outgoing GM lead the pack Pied Piper style to the first watering hole which turned out to be the dining venue for events later in the evening. It would have been good for those who wanted to order the fish to put their order in on the first visit (more on that later). After a few more large ales in nearby watering holes where the discussions about next years committee members were taking place it was time for the main event. Some seemed to have the good oil from strategic leaks judging by the outcomes of the evening.
When the stagger had finished, all were ushered into the restaurant and presented with various coloured bags of goodies including a pair of black boxer shorts. The evenings tits and arse guests were involved in these presentations and gave everyone a welcoming hug. Red and white wines and beers were then organised and above the noise of the by then well lubricated throng, meal orders were taken. Awards were given to those hashers who had achieved milestones in runs and the annual excellence / farkup awards to those deserving such were mentioned in dispatches. Flashbacks of the Oxenford Chilli Pie Massacre and the Merrimac Bayou Latenighter came flooding back to those unfortunate enough to be caught up to their necks in those fiascos.Those hashers who had ordered the fish had a long wait for their meal due to the late arrival of a Jetstar Darwin flight containing the fresh billabong barramundi into Coolangatta airport. As those hashers were considering a quick rendition of – Why are we waiting ?, the other hashers devoured their steak and chicken meals.
The committee changeover ceremony or as some described it as in the usual overdone hash wording of – What a debacle , then commenced. First cab off the rank declined his nomination as he had already enough on his plate, both on the restaurant table and in his daily hashing activities. A couple of more nominations for other positions took their place on the stage and then yours truly joined them .So while a couple of the new committee members were standing around on the stage like bottles of flat piss going off in the hot NQ sun, the announcement of the nomination for the new GM reached another all time AGPU low with the nominee declining and the first emergency getting the leader’s jersey after the scratching of the favourite. The scene was something akin to the current Australian political goings on. In these circumstance could a new working committee be formed ? Would the old committee become a caretaker committee ? Would the new committee be a well hung unworkable rabble ? I started thinking about the nominees and couldn’t recall a trail master being specifically mentioned but I was assured it was built into a super sub position , so a run and hare have been organised for next Monday evening.
As a student many years ago, a teacher told me there were two newspapers in Moscow – the News and the Truth. Apparently the locals soon worked out that there was no news in the truth and no truth in the news. Rod Stewart once sang about – Every Picture Tells a Story. So on that note , each week it is suggested you regularly peruse the run reports and examine the hash photos to get your own recollections and form your own opinion on what actually happened on the previous Monday evenings and not necessarily rely on what is written in this column as it may or may not be bullshit. However if you have the intellectual ability to pick the difference between wild honey and shit, it should be become lucid each week.
So it is farewell to the old committee and thanks for another year of good hashing and onwards and upwards to who knows what and where from the new committee.
Yours in Hashing 2016-2017